Have any of you ever thought that you would be with somone forever in a paradise earth? Then you realize that it was all a bunch of lies. You slowly watch the marriage you had dissentgrate before your eyes.
You want desperately to fix it, but you are being pulled in too many directions. You see 10 years of time, effort, and commitment die a slow death. You try to hold on but you just aren't the same person anymore, but she still is. Suddenly you are all alone to face the demons left behind by serving a false god and false religion for 25 years of your life.
There are so many dreams yet to be fulfilled, but getting past the lonliness and sadness is hard. Part of you wishes you could turn back the clock and fix it, but the other part longs to be free and live life for yourself for once. Big changes are there for the taking. Will it all be OK? I don't know. Wise men have said that time will heal all wounds. But I feel like I have been broken, and I'm not sure if I can fix it. Everything I touch I screw up. You just want somone there to tell you it will all be alright, but you stare blankly at the computer screen in front of you. Being alone is scarier then I thought. But at the same time it is exciting. I am so confused.
Have any of you ever thought that you would be with somone forever in a paradise earth? Then you realize that it was all a bunch of lies. You slowly watch the marriage you had dissentgrate before your eyes.
Yes.
You see 10 years of time, effort, and commitment die a slow death. You try to hold on but you just aren't the same person anymore, but she still is.
Yes. 30 years and he still is.
Part of you wishes you could turn back the clock and fix it, but the other part longs to be free and live life for yourself for once.
Hardly a day goes by without thoughts like this.
You just want somone there to tell you it will all be alright, but you stare blankly at the computer screen in front of you. Being alone is scarier then I thought. But at the same time it is exciting. I am so confused.
It will be all right and you don't have to be alone. Your situation is not unique and you have found a good place to refresh your soul and find encouragement. Time really does help to heal. Welcome.
destroyed by hate, consumed by fear, let the bodies hit the floor
right?
Push forward.
There are so many dreams yet to be fulfilled, but getting past the lonliness and sadness is hard. Part of you wishes you could turn back the clock and fix it, but the other part longs to be free and live life for yourself for once. Big changes are there for the taking. Will it all be OK? I don't know. Wise men have said that time will heal all wounds. But I feel like I have been broken, and I'm not sure if I can fix it. Everything I touch I screw up. You just want somone there to tell you it will all be alright, but you stare blankly at the computer screen in front of you. Being alone is scarier then I thought. But at the same time it is exciting. I am so confused.
I too have spent time wondering in the grand what if. The problem with that for me is neglecting the present. I think you had it right with the comment about the many dreams that need to be fulfilled. What I've learned about my voices both negative and positive is that they must be fed.(hungry little bastards) Truly, feed the ones that need feeding and let starve those that poison you.
It will be alright. Feed that voice. If you can't hear it, there are those here that will repeat it for you and forcibly beat it into you until you choose to realize the truth of the words. Ya gots friends.
Take things one day at a time. Allow yourself to dream bigger dreams. Don't be overly attached to what you think is suppose to make you happy. Live life each day and be open to different things making you happy day by day.
Will it all be OK? I don't know. Wise men have said that time will heal all wounds. But I feel like I have been broken, and I'm not sure if I can fix it.
Leaving this organization is very difficult. It is engineered to be so. But by doing so, you become stronger. These aren't just words. You will become a much, much stronger person than you imagined possible.
You are making an important move toward happiness by asking for help and a friendly ear.
You may also find it helpful to see a professional counselor who is familair with the problems faced by people who exit high control groups. That qualification is important. A psychologist will talk to you, a psychiatrist will talk to you and give you prescription medication if he feels it will help you.
