With the exception of 3 or 4 summer conventions I haven't attended any meetings at all for over 30 years now. Obviously, you didn't know that! See, Rabbitt, there are a few things you don't know. LOL
There's a plethora of things I don't know about you and things in general, but, I'm OK with that. From my viewpoint only, I'm glad you have "forsaken the gathering of ourselves together," (with JW's). For me, it was the hypocrisy I saw coming from the podium, that was the "straw that broke the camels back." This was at regular meetings, as well as assemblies, when I'd see Elders (& sisters in their very limited roles) get up before everyone, so pious and so very different, than I knew them to be in real life.
I grew to hate the absolute control the WT wanted to have over me. (You seem to have a pretty independent streak, too)
I've entertained doubts regarding certain doctrines for more than 30 years now, so this isn't exactly something new for me. One might even say that I'm a veteran at it.
Since you've had all these serious doubts for so long and don't attend meetings on a regular basis (hardly ever) and probably spend much more time with other people (xjw's) who have doubts and probably cannot 'go out in Service' (no regular meetings)...do you still consider yourself as a loyal JW ?
How do you see yourself in the 'big picture'?
The first time (here) that the nasty word 'apostate' seemed to apply to me...I was offended and kinda scared, too. But, lightning didn't strike nor did flaming balls of sulfur come flying out of heaven to strike me. I'm sure you may have felt offended when I called you apostate, too. Please understand...I meant that as a 'tongue-in-cheek' compliment. I am not a real apostate and I don't think you are either. It's almost a sick kind of joke among X-JW's, because the WT does view us as such.
To me, using the Bible as a base line, the WTS is the guilty party, they are the ones who have "gone (way) past the things written". They are the true apostates, imo. For the time being, (never say never) I believe the Bible is simply an interesting collection of ancient writings. I do not accept the Bible God as my idea of THE creator. The Bible God is just too violent, tri-polar, psychotic, anal, jealous, unfair and wishy-washy. We are supposed to be created in his image (heheh - maybe we are ) the thing is, His image varies too much! He's the God of Love, He's a jealous God, Jah of armies, He's a baby killer, He's a murderer of innocents...blah-blah.
I did not come to those conclusions quickly, easily or without extreme pain.
So, if I call you an apostate, because of your thinking and by your association...I mean that in more of a 'brotherly' way. Oooo...that hurt.
BTW, I'm very sorry that you lost your Mom.
Thank you. That was the proverbial 'ton of bricks' that had to fall on my thick head, before I finally realized what kind of religion this truly was. Now, if only for the blood doctrine, I don't want to attend a 'JW death watch' again. I don't want to watch the useless, preventable death of my children or grand children. I taught them this crap, now I need to try and undo this damage.
So why don't you go to meetings ?
Rabbit