Just got Home/Elder Dad just realized I'm Apostate

by MrMoe 37 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  safe4kids

  Hi MrMoe,

  I just wanted to add my support for you along with the others that you have received. I agree that the elders have no control over you and that you have absolutely NO obligation to meet with them until and unless YOU choose to do so.

  I understand your fear and anxiety about what will happen and unfortunately there isn't much you can do about what your father and/or the elders do but again, you do have control over whether you meet and speak with them. I am truly impressed that you came to such decisions in such a short time...it took me MONTHS and much heartache to arrive at my decision about leaving. And it took me quite a long while after to get over my fears about coming face to face with any of the elders. So...hang in there and please let us know how you are doing.

  Dana

  "I undid his head collar and took him outside for a drink, and felt, if not exactly a communion with him, at least an awareness of being a fellow creature on a lonely planet."

  Dick Francis in "To The Hilt"
• 

  joelbear

  Hi Moe,

  Hugs to you. I have had the same kind of arguments with my father the elder. He is 78 now and mom is 75. Unfortunately, its too late for them, as it may be for your parents, to enjoy this life to the fullest and die feeling they have accomplished something. They are both loyal witnesses to the death, both angry, miserable sad and depressed people.

  I called them last week and they just sounded terrible. Jehovah's happy people who have so little joy to look back on from their long lives. Their lives were filled with worry and agony, waiting and waiting for the end instead of actively trying to make their lives happier.

  I have said on here before that I thought we should shun our witness relatives. I retract that statement strongly. I was WRONG. STAY IN TOUCH, BREAK THE CYCLE, get to your younger relatives if possible. Stay off doctrinal points and just get them involved in living life. The more involved they are with life the less hold the doctrines will have on them.

  hugs

  Joel

  hugs

  Joel
• 

  LDH

  Welcome, Mr Moe. Joel is right. If they want to shun you, that will be on their conscience.

  You should make every effort to continue to have normal relationships with them, in the hope that it may NOT be too late.

  Lisa

  PS read my thread "The dreaded conversation...."
• 

  MrMoe

  Thank you all for the support and words of encouragement as well as good advice. FInding out in a few weeks i not a big deal, I don't think. Fact is fact, any way you look at it. It all started with my personal bible reading and hit me all at once. In a matter of 2 days my head was spinning. I went on the internet and it was a downward spiral from there. The final clincher was the CocC book I order from Freeminds (got here in a week, read the book in a few days.)

  My doubts really started at 10, I kid you not. I wondered why Jehovah would kill children at Armageddon. Later in my teens I had doubts about the disfellowshipping "arrangement." When I found out in the last chapter Jesus said I am the Alpha nad the Omega, I went online and stumbled accross 1975. With much prayer, God opened my eyes to the lies. Well, anyhow, I refuse to lie and stand behind any orgainization that is out of all honesty a cult. I am very spiritual and have a very close relationship with my creator. So two weeks or two years makes no difference. It just happend to all click.

  Plus, if you knew my life story, I think you would realize why I found out the way I did--just don't feel like going into the details right now cause I doubt you all care to hear me preach about my life story. Just thanks to you all for understanding. I am sure you know what it feels like to realize you are not alone.

  I will try to avoid getting df'd at all costs. And I am not afraid of the elders, I am afraid of never speaking with my parents again, I love them so much and so does my daughter. I think the world of them, but I cannot live a lie.
• 

  Dogpatch

  Hi MrMoe
  This is for you:
  http://www.freeminds.org/doctrine/rules.htm
  Wishing you the best.
  Randy Watters
• 

  MrMoe

  Thanks much for the link, the point I really enjoyed and defination of why hiding my beliefs would be a true sin: (Exact Quote below)

  "They do not understand that the whole issue is not outward appearances, but maintaining a relationship with God, and God hates secret sins every bit as much as the visible sins. Those who practice sin will not inherit the kingdom of God."

  Another great point: (Exact Quote below)

  God's Work, Not Ours
  In the realm of Christian religions, there are 3 approaches used in advocating standards of conduct:

  (1) The strict approach - a code of conduct is laid out as "necessary," and it is strict enough that only a few Christians will follow it, producing an appearance of righteousness.

  (2) The merciful approach - a middle-of-the-road code of conduct is promoted that is workable (attainable) for most or all believers.

  (3) The perfection approach - Jesus' perfect standards are advocated, which are really principles to be followed from the heart rather than laws.

  Some churches, and all of the cults, choose method #1; many churches choose #2.

  However, not only do the first two approaches fall short of Jesus' moral precepts, but the system designed for the few (#1) condemns the many and exalts the few; whereas in actuality, if RULES are to be followed, ALL are actually condemned because ALL will fall short of perfect obedience to those rules! System #1, therefore, provides a false sense of security. It is also substandard to the third approach.

  System #2 is unbiblical as well. To water down the principles Christ gave and to replace them with a substandard law code is not acceptable to God. He will not tolerate sin, nor lesser standards; that is why Jesus had to die for our sins. He will only work within the perfect approach.
• 

  Rex B13

  I really know right where you are at. The first things is, do not alienate them more than you have to. I reached a point where I could no longer continue to expose my relatives to the falsehoods anymore. I was doing more harm than good. Let it go for awhile. Let them save a little face by not arguing with them on some things.
  It took me a year or so to find myself and I am now a saved, born again Christian. My wife, adult sons and I attend a Southern Baptists church. I teach Sunday School to adults, do some substitute preaching and more inmportantly, give my testimony to church groups. I am exposing the Watchtower as the false prophet it is. I am not even df or da...yet.
  Find a sympathetic group of Christians in your area and start unlearning the Watchtower cult.
  [email protected] is a good place to find help immediately.
  Rex
• 

  Prisca

  just don't feel like going into the details right now cause I doubt you all care to hear me preach about my life story.

  I care - I'd be interested in reading your story. Please post it one day when you feel ready to.
• 

  JW83

  Hi Mr Moe, just wanted to add my hugs and to say that you might be worrying about nothing. I told my parents and two friend my 'apostate' thoughts and one of the friends was the presiding overseer's daughter. Then I got upset one night and put 'apostate' literature under the door of the kingdom hall, which I later found out was seen by the security camera and so everyone kind of knows my 'apostate' beliefs. However, besides one brief 'hello' visit from the presiding overseer and his wife, I have never been bothered by them and am still a witness in good standing, for all I know. Actually, I think they really don't give a shit. I hope it goes the same for you, it is a lot easier!! And believe me - even if the worst happens, it's better that it happens than not at all!
• 

  betweenworlds

  Wow JW83!

  I have gotten about the same. Sent a letter (email) a few weeks back to a pioneer chock full O' my *apostate* beliefs, and haven't heard peep one from any of the elders or anyone for that matter! <just the return emails from sister shocked> Hmmmm. Perhaps times are a changin'!

  "The important thing is to not stop questioning" Albert Einstein