Your personal ad, if you were really honest about it...

by DanTheMan 43 Replies latest jw friends

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  DanTheMan

  Here's mine:

  Title: "I yam what I yam"

  I think farting is funny.

  When an old AC/DC song comes on the radio, I turn the volume to the max even though it makes the speakers crap out. I sing along too - "..AIN'T IT A SHAME, TO BE SHOT DOWN IN FLA-A-AMES..." I sing along to the radio a lot.

  I love children but no how no way would I ever consider having one of my own.

  I watch football and yell and cheer and even jump up and down sometimes even though I'm alone in my own living room.

  I get really depressed and think of suicide sometimes.

  I spent ten years in a religious cult.

  I live in constant expectation of a catastrophic and utterly complete societal breakdown. For this reason, I don't really have strong goals or high expectations.

  I'm kind of small and of slight build. A buck thirty-five, give or take.

  My car is a 1992 Toyota Paseo, slightly rusty.

  I read a lot but I forget everything I read almost as soon as I'm done reading it. I'm probably ADD.

  I really don't have any guy friends. Generally speaking I don't fit in with the guys because I'm kind of awkward and overly sensitive.

  My house is usually somewhere between slightly cluttered and downright disgusting.

  I have a paranoid streak.

  It's funny, my stepmom acts like I should have women beating a path to my door. YEAH RIGHT
• 

  thom

  My ad would read:
  Title: "Not Dan"
  When I'm driving I sing along with the songs on the radio. When a good song comes on I turn it up, that's when I remember that the speaker in the passenger door doesn't work.
  I love children. I have a daughter that lives with me. Would like to have another.
  I have no interest in sports. That means I don't like football. I don't watch sports or listen to sports. I don't care about sports. To be more clear, I don't want to discuss sports with others!
  I used to get really depressed sometimes and think about suicide. That was during the years that I was a member of a religious cult. I don't seem to have those thougts anymore and I really enjoy life now.
  I have reached many goals in my life and have more to look forward to. I live assuming I can reach them, and if it doesn't work out I make the best of whatever happens.
  I'm average height and of slight build. I'm not old like Dan, well ok, I'm older.
  I don't have an old car like Dan, I drive a 1993 Toyota Corolla, slightly rusty.
  I read alot and have alot of books. I go back and read the good ones again.
  I don't hang around with alot of friends, I'm happy to spend time with my daughter and time working. I go out now and then but probably less than the average person. I keep to myself alot and I like it that way. (I get along very well with myself)
  My house is usually slightly messy but not too bad. I like things to be clean and try to keep up with it.
  I rarely streak.
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  DanTheMan

  Title: "Not Dan"

  That's a good thing, trust me there!!
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  tetrapod.sapien

  i hope i meet you someday Dan.

  here is mine:

  Title: "Eighty percent of success is showing up." - Woody Allen

  i am a classic under acheiver.

  i would prefer to write the program that solves my problems, but not solve them myself.

  i love women so much, and yet also have the odd homosexual fantasy. what can i say? i am done fighting myself.

  i am afraid of failure, and yet embrace it when it arrives.

  "nature is a whore."

  i'm a city kid, with too many ideals. i visit nature to releave me of ideals. i just want to survive.

  i salute my dog.

  i grew up thinking i was gonna be an artist. when i realized that i had to choose between this and jehovah, i had a mental breakdown.

  my morals are flexible on just about everything. and i don't care what you think about it.

  i don't see much of a point to anything. but it's fun to pretend there is a point to everything.

  my dad walked into the wilderness two years ago, and no one has heard from him since, and yet no one goes looking for him either.

  "old man look at my life"

  i am going to get a tattoo that covers most of my body.

  i am growing my hair long for the first time in my life.

  i have a beard that is not going anywhere.

  if i could go back to any period in time, i would go back 200,000 years to the great rift valley in africa. either that or berkeley in 1966.

  i know that my wife and i will not last for more than another year, but i am afraid to get it over with. and yet, i am looking forward to it.

  i think that as far as mythological creatures go, satan was really cool for what he stood for.

  i do drugs now. i am on drugs right now. i realize just how boring reality really is.

  i was an environmentalist for a while, but now i'm just an epicurian nihilist, as it's easier to up hold, and has no doctrine.

  i am an anarchist, fly no flag, wish we lived in teepees and still rode horses.

  someday i'm just gonna walk across canada, and sleep in the ditches at night.

  i love woody allen and carl sagan and kurt cobain.

  i have fantasies of being a rock star.

  my most favorite job i ever had was as a bike courier. someday i will ride again.

  i hate working.

  but i have started painting again.

  i am tired of believing in things, including myself.

  i have nothing against nudity or genetically modified food.

  tetragod
• 

  AlmostAtheist

  i hope i meet you someday Dan.

  I hope you do, too. He's a pretty incredible dude.

  (He needs to get a new ad agency, though. They aren't playing to his strengths, here!)

  Dave
• 

  knot4me

  here's mine, Just remember your the one who asked for honesty.... Title: Female 28 I love animals(mostly cats) I didn't really like children until I had my own. I love to sing in the shower when no-one is home. I always wished I could be one of those people that sing and dance like crazy alone in the car, but was always afraid of what everyone would think of me. From the time my father died when I was 11, I've always tried to seek the approval of men(especially the elders)but always failed. I attempted suicide. I love beer and hot wings!! I like myself better when I'm drunk. I drive a 1997(paid for) Jimmy. I love sex.
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  DanTheMan

  i hope i meet you someday Dan.

  Dude, you need to aim *way* higher. LOL

  my dad walked into the wilderness two years ago, and no one has heard from him since, and yet no one goes looking for him either.

  Really? Damn...

  Sounds like we're both in a bit of a funk ts. I wrote this mainly because, people are always on my case, "why don't you try the personal ads?" "Why don't you get involved with something where you can meet people?" Any more I want to answer that question with "F*ck off! Women just don't dig me ok?? Can't you see that I'm kind-of a loser in life?? I'm trying to accept that and just move on and you're not helping!!!"
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  DanTheMan

  I love beer and hot wings!! I love sex.

  I...I...I think I love you....
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  fullofdoubtnow

  Being totally honest, here goes:

  I am 46, female, no kids, never married, unfulfilled career - wise (I have a degree and work at two menial part - time jobs), I drive a 1996 Volkswagen Golf, no boyfriend at the moment, not had a meaningful relationship since I was 21.

  I get depressed sometimes thinking about all the things I have missed out on whilst a jw, but not suicidal.

  I love music

  I got drunk for the first time in years last night, and it felt great, I will be doing that again soon

  I have only one true friend, but hope to make more soon.

  I love Indian food, especially balti

  I enjoy reading

  I have lived a somewhat insular life for the last 25 years, but am looking to branch out a little now

  And that's about it for me
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  billyjean

  Female, 22 years old. I love hangin' with the guys. I also think farts are funny. Coffee makes me poop. Never want to get married. Love myself, and you should too. Love to snow/ wake board. I waste too much time. Music is good for my soul. Sex is good, sex is great. Want a good education. I think mean people suck. Want to travel hte world by boat. Good friends....can't live without 'em. Did I mention I like love sex? Wild woman when intoxicated. Intoxicated often. Own a ' 74 pick-up that reaks of gasoline, therefore, so do I. Hope you like the smell of gas........