My First Doubt

tall penguin

This may not seem like your typical doubt but it was the first time I allowed myself to question the Bible and the wt's explanation of things.
About 6 years ago, I was assigned a talk on the man Judah. This was when we were doing talks on specific Bible characters. Anyhow, I was to show how Judah was a humble, wonderful servant of Jehovah. Can't remember the specific theme. Something to that effect. The account I was assigned to use as source material was Genesis 38 which details how Judah refused to give Shelah his son to his daughter-in-law Tamar after his other sons died. (Crazy ot traditions.) So Tamar gets upset that she's not going to have any offspring and disguises herself as a prostitute to get old Judah to have sex with her.
So here I am reading this account and saying WTF? You want me to give a talk about how great and wonderful this Judah guy is for seeking out a prostitute when just over the page in Genesis 39 we have good ole Joseph refusing sex with Potiphar's wife?!!! I just couldn't get my head around this one. How was it okay for Judah to have sex with a prostitute but not okay for Joseph to have sex with Potiphar's wife? And it irked me that the wts always held up Joseph as this great and wonderful example of upholding Jehovah's "law" on sexual relations even though no "law" had yet been made. And yet, here was Judah, doing the nasty with a prostitute and that was OK?! And how was it okay for his daughter-in-law to even pose as a prostitute in the first place? Wasn't that a no-no?
So here I was pouring over this account and the wts pubs expounding the goodness of Judah and how wonderful he was to have humbled himself in the end and admit that he'd erred, not in sexing a prositute, but in refusing his son to Tamar. And how it was righteous on the part of Tamar to have deceived her father-in-law because he was wrong to have denied her Shelah in the first place.
I talked to another sister about my concerns. She just shrugged it off and said, "Do your best." I ended up calling in sick and not doing the talk. I couldn't in good conscience defend this Judah character.
That was my first doubt and the first time I allowed myself to think that maybe things weren't all that good in Bible land.
tall penguin

Sheepish

One of things about the Bible that shows it's honesty is that it doesn't cover up the sins of even the "important" people. David, "a man after God, own heart" was an adulterer and a murderer. Part of what you should be learning from all this is that all people sin, some are worse than others (in our mind), but, with true repentence (really hating what you did and determining NOT to do it again.) you have forgiveness. Doesn't mean you won't have to deal with the consequences (i.e. David losing their child) but you can be restored to a right relationship with the Almighty. And hopefully, you've learned from it, and it has made you stronger and wiser...I am really surprised that "sister" didn't clue you in to that at least!

I don't know what the WT was trying to say about Judah, but he was, after all, just a man.

AlmostAtheist

The biggest hurdle in escaping is allowing yourself to question something "sacred", like the Bible or the "Faithful and Discreet Slave". As soon as you allow yourself that freedom, the walls start to crumble.

I've never heard your specific case, but there's been plenty like it where a single seemingly small issue suddenly brings the whole thing into question.

Dave

tall penguin

sheepish,
Thanks for the comments. My issue though is not that Judah erred. It was what he erred in. The wt does not say his error was in his sexual acts with this prostitute but in not giving his son to Tamar as was the custom. My issue is with the double standard applied to Judah as compared to Joseph. And also, the disregard for the fact that Tamar posed as a prostitute, as if that was acceptable.
tall penguin

Jourles

I couldn't in good conscience defend this Judah character.

This is what the WTS is afraid of these days. All it takes is one or two hits to your spiritual armor before you begin to look for other things that do not make sense according to your biblically trained conscience.

Two words:

Snowball effect.

Cordelia

that was one of my first doubts too!

i read it in a question from readers, and the answer was that it didnt matter coz in the end the right thing had happened the family line had been carried on correctly and tamar was so righteous!

it didnt seem to matter that perverted judah slept with a prositute (premeditated sin i believe!) and had no idea it was tamar. how can that be right? and yet the society hold to so much onto accounts that they pick out to tell us how wrong we are but seem to miss this one!

i completely agree with you penguin guy.

Jourles

My issue is with the double standard applied to Judah as compared to Joseph.

Bingo. And once someone realizes that double standards exist in the bible with no real explanation given by the WTS, they soon begin to take notice of some of these same double standards which exist right in the congregation.

Cygnus

I just want to say Great Post.

tall penguin

Cordelia: i completely agree with you penguin guy.
I'm actually a penguin gal but it's all good! :)
Ya, it was an account that really blew my mind. And the wt's avoidance of the real issues made me even more angry. And then when the elders at my jc a few years later referenced the good conduct of Joseph in my mind I was screaming, "Ya, and what about Judah and Tamar?!"
tall penguin

GoingGoingGone

Another point.... Not only did Judah go to a prostitute, but when it was discovered that Tamar was pregnant, he wanted to have her put to death. Can you say Double Standard????

GGG

My First Doubt

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