The benefit of JWD

by Lady Lee 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    I know I have made comments about the benefits of JWd but I have some thoughts about this.

    For the person who is having doubts and is looking for some confirmation or information JWD provides a wealth of both. And if it isn't posted here on the board someone usually has a link to answer questions

    For those who have been hurt by the shunning policy or been abused in some way JWD offers wonderful people who understand because they have "been there" too.

    For those who are recently out of the WTS and are trying to build a new life there are many to encourage and support them.

    Even those of us who have been here and out of the WTS for a long time there is encouragement and friendship.

    For those who love a good debate, there is usually a willing JW to try to take them on.

    There are some great sites on the internet that provide information. Some have discussion boards on them and others don't.

    But something that I don't think people are totally aware of is that as JWs many of us were limited in social skills. I never knew what I liked or what I might be good at. I had no way of developing social skills with non-JWs. Contact was always limited to associating with a ready made community where everyone focussed on one thing - kingdom interests.

    Really learning to connect with others on different levels other than religion is an important part of our healing. Learning some things (like what tradional things like birthdays, holidays, etc) feels awkward. I didn't know the traditions. It had been 22 years since I had celebrated a holiday. And it is sometimes a bit embarrasing to ask non-JWs what the routine is.

    I think while we are a rather select group we know that others here have gone through the same learning process and therefore it might not be so awkward to ask "How do you..." or "What do you do when..." Let's face it we can't rely on TV to teach us everything.

    I think the social benefits here are important. We call them the fluff threads, mostly playing around and just having a good time. It's more important than we might think at first. But as we learn about whatever interests we have the easier our transition to the real world can be. As we begin to relax and just have fun without the WTS-imposed guilt the easier it will be for us to move out into the world.

    Not that that is all JWD is or should be. The wonderful knowledge, information and support here are helpful to so many.

    But maybe the fluff has a bigger part to play in our recovery than we might think.

    As JW there was no balance to life. Everything was the WTS and guilt when we were doing anything else.

    Here you get to learn a little bit more about being real in a real world

  • Eyebrow2
    Eyebrow2

    Lady Lee,

    I think the fluff threads can help too...I mean, really, all the serious stuff can sometimes get you down.

    Nothing wrong with a little fluff now and then.

  • candidlynuts
    candidlynuts

    Becoming disillusioned about your faith is a big deal. It is very hard to deal with. Finding support here from people who have gone thru it and who can assist you helps immensely. It isnt a substitute for real therapy but real therapy isnt an option for everyone.

    Leaving the WTBS causes a lot of positive feelings, your taking control of your life back but also causes negative feelings, dealing with isolation from family, feelings of guilt, even feelings of despair and hopelessness.

    Having a place to talk to people who understand has helped a lot of us.

    Its not the only ex jw forum on the web but its one of the best because there are members here, such as yourself Lee , who listen, who advise, who help us research, who have experience and knowlege in the emotional toll leaving the wtbs takes on us.

    I'm one of the big fluff posters as well, and laughter is theraputic, it does have its place!

  • heathen
    heathen

    Yah just be careful because this place is adictive .LOL It's great to get other peoples perspective on cult life because I was never in fully and didn't know all the politics involved but now can see why there are so many f'd up J-dubbies .The main thing I found interesting about the j-dubs was all the participation involved which to me sepperated them from most mainstream religions . I've known alot of "worldly " people as well and am not impressed by them either .The world is what you make out of it .

  • twinflame
    twinflame

    Excellent points Lady Lee. I know how difficult it's been for my children to learn about holidays after never having celebrated them. They don't know Christmas carols or even the dates of many holidays. Unless you've walked the walk, it would be hard for people to understand simple things like that. Fortunately, their mates have had a ball teaching them the things they themselves always took for granted and they are having a ball!

  • Spectre
    Spectre

    Well said, Lady Lee. I read a lot of the topics but do not post a response to them. I have no interest in keeping up an encyclopeadic knowledge of any given topic but love seeing topics by people who do(I'm looking at you Blondie). People though should never underestimate the power of just having fun, its possible that I would still be a witness if I had had more fun. Healing sometimes means more than just having a shoulder to cry on.

  • MsMcDucket
    MsMcDucket

    Lady Lee, JWD is life support to me.

  • Kaylen
    Kaylen

    "The fluff threads" are good for those (read me) who may not be ready to just put what they have experienced out there. It allows people to gently enter and not have everything crash around them. " The truth is often spoken is jest"

    I had better be careful that was nearly a serious post

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Kaylen

    What the heck have you done to your hair???

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    If the board were just about "getting" I would be long gone. I feel I also contribute, which gives me a sense of purpose.

    Also, I gotta admit the debates do get my adrenaline going. Other people jump out of airplanes. I challenge preconceptions.

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