by Lady Lee 29 Replies latest jw friends
Lee,
Don't ever underestimate the help that YOU have given to others! I have certainly benefitted!
If it weren't for JWD I would never have "met" so many wonderful people - and exiting from the cult would have been manifestly more difficult.
Love,
Ian
I don't know how I'd have survived the last few months without you guys. You are truly helping me through my healing with all the support and advice you've given.
Because I grew up to be neither seen or heard I find it really hard to talk even to friends about how I feel, and as for social skills, they're virtually zero! For me this is a safe place both to express my feelings and to learn how to interract without feeling too stupid or guilty.
JWD has been a big help to me.
I found it a few days after I finally realised that The Truth was a load of poopies.
I realised that I was not on alone in my predicament.
Not that that is a good thing. Nobody else should be in my predicament, and many here are/have been, in worse situations than myself.
The good thing is, that I have found so many here that have found a way out that lets them live good lives.
I am not able to post here as often as I would like, due to family circumstances and lifestyle, but manage I pop in most days for a quick peek at what is happening.
The nearest thing I have to a religious ritual now is my weekly vigil for our beloved Dansk and that does me a lot of good. It has become a part of my life and I thank JWD and Ian for that. I look forward to the day when Ian tells us that he no longer needs our help and invites us around for a celebration.
...and I thank you too, Lee. You have helped me more than you imagine. You are a wonderful, loving, caring lady and your comments to others have often been a source of consolation and inspiration to me.
Cheers
Chris
Great thread Lady Lee.
When I cast my mind back to the dub days and to my fade I had absolutely no idea how much I had been affected by my upbringing, it was almost as though I was oblivious; even when I had faded completely I had no idea how much of a psychological hold the WTS still had over me; if I saw an elder in the street my heart would race and I would feel guilty and feel subservient and this is despite having a different life and being more fulfilled - the more confident and assertive part of me would cover it up by not appearing to be this way at all...and its only been recently that have I really admitted this to myself how I behaved when faced with JWs and in particular elders.
When I came across JWD I had no idea who ran the site (and it was only later did I realise I knew them from days of old) it was purely by accident that I had Googled Jehovahs Witnesses and even then I felt guilty because I could potentially could be looking at 'apostate' information; to this very day I do not know what made me google the witnesses given I had been out for close to a decade and thought I was free. The more inquisitive side of my nature pushed me on to read further.
Upon eventually finding myself here it became apparent that much of what I had suffered/endured/experienced had been suffered/endured and experienced by others too...it was weird to realise that I was not unique in all this and that the WTS generally treats its R&F with a certain uniformity.
I realised that although I had bettered my social skills through the time I had spent away from being a Jehovahs Witness there was still areas in which I lacked; JWD has benefited me in terms of trying to understand better my upbringing and understand more about the culture which I lived as a young JW.
Its helped put my childhood and my adult life into perspective; i.e why i thought certain things, why I had trouble previously in reading critically and why it was that my social skills were hindered to some degree and were for a long time. Its also helped me try to at least use my experience to help others and as such try to give support which many of us didnt get at various times in our life.
Its also a source of amusement too...the fluff threads are just that...fluff and there for enjoying...after all nothing in life is totally serious and a degree of lightheartedness is called for no matter what subject we are dealing with. The debates are sometimes frustrating when people are not willing to listen but in essence its interesting to see that many are still at varying degrees of healing and some of the dub traits are still there deeply embedded with peoples persona's and can be recognised.
JWD for me has been and will be a great source of learning and support and personally I think you get back what you put into it...its the reciprocacy that is unique and hopefully will there for a consider time.
Just my tuppenny's worth!
DB74
Lady Lee, you are so right. That's why most of the links on my scroller at http://www.freeminds.org come from JWD, there are healing topics and helpful informationm for all, not just gossip. It really helps a lot of people.
Randy
Net Soup!
Alternate Net Soup listings for those who can't get the scroller to work:
Randy
not just gossip
We just seem to hate those "a friend of a friend of my cousin said...." type threads
twinflame
I know how difficult it's been for my children to learn about holidays after never having celebrated them. They don't know Christmas carols or even the dates of many holidays.
An excellent point. Sounds like a mini holiday education class would be needed.
Spectre
its possible that I would still be a witness if I had had more fun
Well let's hope they continue to discourage JWs having any fun.
MsMcDucket
JWD is life support to me.
I suspect that's true for many. When you have no where else to go come on over to JWD
Hmmmmm Now there's the answer for that "Where would we go" response JWs hand out all the time
eyebrow
I think the fluff threads can help too...I mean, really, all the serious stuff can sometimes get you down.
Can't have too much of a good thing. Recovery is about finding some balance. Every now and then the board goes through a cycle of fluff/fun and the everybody gets serious again. I noticed this in therapy. I would have a heavy session or two and then a light one where I didn't think I got much done. As long as it all evens out then it is a good thing
candidlynuts
Leaving the WTBS causes a lot of positive feelings, your taking control of your life back but also causes negative feelings, dealing with isolation from family, feelings of guilt, even feelings of despair and hopelessness.
That is a great point. Can you imagine talking to someone at work and saying "Wow I didn't think of the JWs one time today!" They would probably look at you like you were crazy. There are so many positives about not going to meetings, or studying material you have studied upteen times before or not going out on banging on doors. All that free time!!! But sadly the WTS exacts its penalty for that freedom.
heathen
just be careful because this place is adictive
Aha! I knew there was another side to this!!!
jgnat
If the board were just about "getting" I would be long gone. I feel I also contribute, which gives me a sense of purpose.
The WTS makes a lot of the expression "what goes in has to come out" - their way of encouraging coersing people to start preaching. Well I'm going to steal that for a moment. I know there are many times I have discovered something (the other day it was while reading "Have you seen my mother") and just have this need to tell somebody. I think there is great value in sharing those lightbulb moments.
And like you I need purpose in my life. So I hang out here
Darth, sad_emo, dedpoet, Evanescence, Black Sheep
Most people here have experienced it first hand and are extremely supportive as well as friendly
It sure helps
Country_Woman
Just where is your beautiful daughter these days. I miss seeing her
Ian/Dansk
Thank you kind sir. I wish the net had been as accessible when I came out 20 years ago. It would have made things so much easier
Black Sheep
The nearest thing I have to a religious ritual now is my weekly vigil for our beloved Dansk and that does me a lot of good. It has become a part of my life and I thank JWD and Ian for that. I look forward to the day when Ian tells us that he no longer needs our help and invites us around for a celebration.
Absolutely!!!
diamondblue
When I cast my mind back to the dub days and to my fade I had absolutely no idea how much I had been affected by my upbringing, it was almost as though I was oblivious; even when I had faded completely I had no idea how much of a psychological hold the WTS still had over me; if I saw an elder in the street my heart would race and I would feel guilty and feel subservient and this is despite having a different life and being more fulfilled - the more confident and assertive part of me would cover it up by not appearing to be this way at all...and its only been recently that have I really admitted this to myself how I behaved when faced with JWs and in particular elders.
It took me 10 years to get past feeling that way. What a sick control they have over people
I have to agree....Great thread!
I would love to be there too. We never have anything like that near us (or I have never heard of them) .......or maybe I just dont get invited....tell me honestly is it the hair???
Lady Lee,
This is truly a great thread. I have benefiited greatly in the short time I have been here, and am benefitting more every time I come on the board. I just know this is the place to be as I begin my exit from the org and make my way to freedom.
Love, Linda
Kaylen:
You must have missed this: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/19/97895/1.ashx
Another one is planned, so keep a look out for the announcement; it'll be in the Apostafests Forum.
Or you could send misspeaches, Bliss or myself ([email protected]) an email and we'll make sure you're informed.
Cheers, ozzie
