This concerns an ' 03 Topic about ex-elders and should they apologize

by juni 13 Replies latest jw friends

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  juni

  A poster on this site was kind to direct me to an ' 03 Topic for discussion that dealt with the question whether ex-elders who were on a JC should feel responsible for the hurt and damage to families that suffered DF in their family and therefore seek these ones out and apologize.. Some felt that these elders were only following what they felt was expected of them and others felt it was a good idea.

  How do posters here who were former elders on JC feel about this now? Thank you to all for your input. Juni
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  Tigerman

  Don't trivialize this subject.
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  ocsrf

  I was an elder for only a short time, never had been on a JC but I did shun a good life long friend who is now dead. I feel terrible about this and always remember how cruel this felt at the time and I think this has been a big part of how I feel now. Yes, I would love to apoligize to this person, I wish this every day. I am sure that those former elders who have good hearts feel heart broken every day for any pain they might have caused. OC
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  tetrapod.sapien

  we're all guilty.
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  juni

  Tigerman, hi

  I don't understand your comment. Please explain what you mean.

  And yes I do feel we all were guilty in some way. I have done a lot of apologizing to my kids and relatives for the hurt and crap I did. Now we've moved on. juni
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  atypical

  I was never an elder, but I am ashamed to say that I was partly responsible for someone getting disfellowshipped (tattled on him for smoking.) After I realized how wrong I had been, I made a point to tell him that I was sorry and I really tried to make amends, although realistically I know the damage had been done. I still feel bad every time I think about it.
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  Tigerman

  juni . . . So, you have apologized and moved on. Is that it? Is it that easy for you? You come across as if " . . .sorry everyone, I screwed up but that's all behind us now and we can forget about all the distress and years of disaffection caused by me and the WTS. And, by the way, Have A Good Day ! "
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  atypical

  It seems to me that it would be impossible for an elder to undo even a fraction of the past, no matter how bad he feels about it. I think if someone is no longer an elder and feels bad about harm he may have done, that is much better than one who stays an elder just because he can't admit he's wrong. I think the major weight of the blame should go to the incorrect policy that is imposed upon the elders. They really just get suckered into doing someone else's dirty work.
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  Tigerman

  atypical . . . I agree with you. " ...getting suckered in to do somebody's else's dirty work." That says it all.
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  Tigerman

  juni . . . My orginal reply to your post was hasty and harsh. There really isn't much one can do but to apologize and move on. People need forgiveness, for without it we are surely lost.

  I hope you and your family's lives are better now as you move forward into brighter worlds.