I have served on several to many JC's. I can say that we were guided more by what the GB said than what the Bible said. At the elders schools they always harped on looking up the WTS instructions on how to handle things as many elders were not following such.There was not much room for common sense. Mainly---what are the rules. That is why the secret elders manual is necessary The emphasis was on 'keeping the cong clean' more than helping the person. So, yes I feel badly for some of the decisions I shared in. I think some were made too hastily However, time that has passed & distance make it impractical to go back & reopen anything with these ones. The best I can hope for is that I may have helped someone not want to come back. At least I can say that I was never rude or unkind to the victim. I never , ever , liked the judicial aspect of being an elder. I never felt comfortable trying to run peoples lives. The groveling reinstatement process really irritates me.
Thank you for your second post. To clarify myself - by saying "we've moved on" I meant that we (my family) all go on with our lives and not dwell on the JW awful past. Definitely not to say that the past doesn't ever come up again or is not talked about. My kids and my husband and I were all affected in different ways.
Remember the Society saying that we must "forgive and FORGET"?? Well we are human and we do have memories so you can never forget especially when a lot of the crap was merely opinions of those in authority and not based on scripture. And in order to have the companionship of those in the cong. (whom only you were to associate with) you had better follow the advice. juni~~~~~~~~~~~
Couldn't agree with you more. You brought up points that I have considered and will share w/my family. Yes. The groveling reinstatement process. Did the prodigal son grovel? I don't think so. juni~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Good evening OC and atypical,
Thank you also for your input. We all suffer the pain and everyone has their own breaking point when they've had enough. It's like coming from a very dysfunctional family. juni~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm a firm believer in moving on as best one can. I think that if the people are still in, it would do little good to apologize to them. They feel like they got what they deserved. An exelder apologizing for a JC in that case is just another stinkin apostate. If the harmed parties are out, an apology might do good for both souls, the harmed an the harmer.
What tetra said is very much on point. We are all guity. The elders are guilty of subjecting themselves to an unloving arrangement. The flock is guilty of subjecting themselves to such a terrible arrangement as well.
Forgivness if it is deserved is not for the good of the harmer. Its for the good of the harmed. Same thing with moving on. When that can be done, it heals the soul of the harmed.
