can you live together with peace? NO. Take a look around and look for any threads by ubm's (unbelieving mates). Personally, I think he is using you until some appropriate dub comes along for him. No offense intended, just seen this scenario too many times. I live with a jw. Not pleasant, especially around the holidays. If you don't mind a bunch of old men in Brooklyn, NY controlling what you can celebrate, how you make love, how much passion is allowed, what you can watch on tv or movies, what kinds of books are allowed in your home, what kinds of games can be played (hope your not a chess player) How his haircut is, when he showers ( after awhile this may only occur when he will be seeing other jw's) if you don't mind that they have redefined the word lie, etc.. etc... etc.. hey, go for it.
Divided family and confused
by noelle2375 12 Replies latest jw friends
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blondie
Actually, I have seen it even here on the board where the JW mate that put up the decorations was DF'd but not the JW spouse who said she had nothing to do with (the husband said she had nothing to do with it).
I have seen it where the non-JW wife put the decorations up and the JW husband was not DF'd or considered DA'd.
As long as he is not seen putting up the decorations and she does all the work, she takes the responsibility.
Could some persnickty elder try to pressure the BF, he's a DF'd JW already. The first issue that he has to deal with is that he is living with a woman he is not married to and has a sexual relationship with.
I have known many divided couples where the non-JW member puts up the decorations and the JW spouse is not disciplined by the elder body. (none elders or well-connected to an elder)
Individual elders though can put pressure on but then one elder can't take judicial action. He has to get the body on his side.
Blondie
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jgnat
noelle, sure, hang around with us. I am impressed that you took our rather strong advice with grace.
I love Christmas, too, and I am married to a JW. I put up the decorations but the season is still very difficult as every choice becomes a war zone rather than a source of joy.
Lately I've started a series of surveys for our local group of Unbelieving Mates (UBM's). You may get to meet some fellow-travellers and get a better sense of what we live with daily by reading the responses.
Poll on SECRECY http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/20/100996/1.ashx
Poll on INTIMACY http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/20/101366/1.ashx
An article on Cognitive Dissonance, an important concept in understanding the double life of the JW. http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/100959/1.ashx