Why stay married to a JW?

by kid-A 28 Replies latest social relationships

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  Finally-Free

  There are REASONS we picked each other in the first place, and it doesn't hurt to sit down and think those through once in a while.

  That may be part of the problem in my case. My wife and I had similar goals in the organization when we met. Full time service™.

  I changed while she stayed the same.

  I think there is a difference when comparing a marriage with an unbelieving mate™, someone who's never been a JW, to a marriage where one spouse becomes an apostate™. We apostates™ are viewed as the lowest of the low by JWs. We are demonized, almost rabid, in their estimation.

  W
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  kid-A

  I cant imagine how hard it must be for some of you in this situation.

  I guess from my perspective, if I was married to a JW and knew my spouse would have chosen the Watchtower over me, loved a man-made organization and billion dollar publishing empire over me, there is absolutely no way, no how, I could stay with that person.

  On a more philosophical note, I would have to question the love of anybody that would actually believe that god was going to destroy me at armageddon, and yet she still professed to love and worship the same god that was about to annihilate me.....
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  twinflame

  I think there is a difference when comparing a marriage with an unbelieving mate™, someone who's never been a JW, to a marriage where one spouse becomes an apostate™. We apostates™ are viewed as the lowest of the low by JWs. We are demonized, almost rabid, in their estimat

  Well said

  If a JW married an unbeliever then they're not very hard-core or they wouldn't do it. When you make the comittment together and one checks out.....different story. Even if they claim to not abhor you, you only have to read the rags to know what they must think of you every time apostasy is discussed.
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  ithinkisee

  I had a definite point in mind where I was going to cut my losses had my wife not been as smart as she was.

  I grew up in a "divided household" and I had a point in my mind where I knew I would not just sit around and endure what my mom put my dad through.

  -ithinkisee
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  minimus

  I know of a JW who loves her husband jealously and who regularly tells him how he's going to die if he doesn't get baptized. She's been saying this for 40 plus years now. They have a fine marriage. He just ignores her.
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  stillAwitness

  No way can it survive. There is an elder in my hall whose wife is an "unvbeliever" He talks about her all the time in his talks. Honestly! Always makes these really personal "examples" of like an unbeliever who does not want the child to go out in service so much or is feeling lonely on a sunday morning- I'm always like "where does he get this stuff from" and he always mentions her in service. I know he's miserable. Sh'e probbably worse. How sad.
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  tetrapod.sapien

  I cant help but ask a rather harsh question....can anybody in this situation realistically envision how such a marriage can last in the long term?

  harsh, but so true kid-A. my wife is married to "jehovah" first and foremost. what a joke. "ya, honey, and i love santa claus more than i love you..."

  it's so F-ed up.

  no. if the other mate insists on staying with the cult, i don't think the marriage will work. or if it does "work", it will be hell.

  my wife told me to basically stop talking. i tried, i really did. not much for an atheist and a JW, of all religions, to talk about anyways, without fighting.

  TS
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  kid-A

  Tetra,

  I cant even begin to imagine how rough that must be.
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  Finally-Free

  my wife told me to basically stop talking. i tried, i really did.

  Mine too, and I tried. However, I decided it had to work both ways. If I had to be quiet about religion then so did she, but she would not accept that. She kept bringing up the subject of religion, no matter how much I tried to avoid it. And I refuse to sit and listen to watchtower propaganda without giving my response.

  If someone has the right to express their beliefs, then I have an equal right to express my disbelief.

  W
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  Darth Yhwh

  My parents have been married for 36 or 37 years now. My dad is an UBM (as jgnat would say). Somehow they've pulled it off over the long term. I think that my mother loves my father more than Jehovah, but dosn't realize it.