I think I get it now

by AhHah 40 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  AhHah

  I think I get it now. This is a place to hang out and make small talk. This is family. I wrote this tonight for all of you. Hope you enjoy it.

  Gathered 'round the kitchen table on Sunday morning, we read the paper, pour a second cup of coffee. Once in a while somebody mumbles about something they are reading. But talking isn't really necessary. Mozart and Tchaikovsky are easing us into Sunday afternoon as the sun lazily starts to burn through the melancholy but cozy overcast. Even the birds sing a sleepy song. Should probably get out of this old house robe and put on some clothes, but somehow the robe feels just right for now.

  Thoughts seem to drift back to those long summers at Grandma's house. Grandma seemed to make everything in the world feel right. I don't think I will ever see a kinder face in the whole world. Tears rise up as I remember. But the tears fade and a gentle smile comes. I see her once again smiling, serving us fresh baked apple pie after lunch. Those sleepy Sunday afternoons seemed to last forever. Grandpa has put some Louis Armstrong on the old hi-fi. "What A Wonderful World" is playing. No one else could ever sing that song like Ol' Satchmo.

  A nice breeze is blowing outside now and the graceful old oak trees are calling us to take comfort under their majestic boughs. Auntee has made some fresh lemonade and finger sandwiches. Duke, our old hound, is coming through the thick grass clutching an old chewed-up frisbee. He can't catch it like he used to, but he loves to try. Sure do miss that lovable old dog. I haven't had the heart to get another one. It just wouldn't seem right. When Duke was young we used to run all the way down to the saw mill. Duke would try to catch the tadpoles in the creek. Grandma and Grandpa are gone now, just like old Duke. They made life seem so easy. Sitting on Grandpa's lap on that old porch swing, I knew what a wonderful world this is.
• 

  Roamingfeline

  Ahhhh.. you sound like the fellas on the ole homestead porch at Silver Dollar City in Branson Mo... or down in Booger Hollow, Ar. Ahhhh the good ole days..

  RCat

  Edited by - Roamingfeline on 30 September 2000 2:53:25
• 

  waiting

  Hello AhHah,

  To say nothing especially when speaking is half the art of diplomacy. Will Durant

  Welcome, Diplomat!

  So, is this your view of your family perhaps? Nice family - I was under the impression you had a child, or family, not overly impressed with your freedom of choice in leaving the WTBTS? I may have you confused with another angry poster - if that's the case, perhaps with your diplomacy, you'll overlook my error.

  May I ask - if you presume that we are braindead - why in the world did you post poetry upon your entrance? A nice touch, for sure, but a very stylized, dramatic entrance, nonetheless.

  Are you trying to awaken me to a higher form of thinking - yours? AhHah! Perhaps the meaning appears for your name? Rather like the WTBTS's Awake!........

  May I ask - why would you assume that I need your awakening?

  May I ask - why would you presume to be the Awakener?

  May I ask - are you, in any way, suggesting there is something wrong with newly formed friendships?

  May I ask - if you so strongly wish spiritual debate - why aren't you over at H20? Or at witnet? I'm sure Friend will be glad to "speak" with you. We've debated him, won/lost, have you? How'd you do?

  May I ask - if you are a regular spiritual debater and poetry poster over at H20, please share your name so we also can say, "AhHah! So that's our boy AhHah!" just like a proud family.

  My opponent can compress the most words into the fewest ides of anyone I've ever known. Abraham Lincoln

  waiting
• 

  Simon

  AhHah - I, for one, like to have some proper debate & conversation as well as the small talk. Surely there is room for both - you just join in whichever you want. I don't understand why everyone seems to have an issue with some of your posts. I thought the survey / voting thing was a good idea and would put some life back into this place.
  Please don't be put off...post away and I'm sure people will join in.
• 

  AhHah

  Waiting,

  Thanks for your reply. I will try to answer your questions.

  I certainly do not think that the regular posters on this site are brain-dead. I would never have posted here if I did. Perhaps my reply to 7 gave you that impression? I was referring only to her preference for no posts (dead -- e.g. Path's post) versus uncomfortable, or presumably, controversial posts, such as the survey I posted. I found her reply to that post and my God and Religion post very disappointing and yes, her sarcasm angered me both times. I don't know what I did to deserve that. Others had posted similar thoughts to mine without receiving sarcasm. In my survey post, I had hoped to stimulate more discussion such as the one on Bible Research based on the Jung quote (God and Religion). Since so many participated on that thread, I thought that posters here enjoyed such topics as much as I do. Perhaps that post was just a rogue wave that came out of nowhere and is not typical for this forum?

  I do not currently post on H2O or any other boards. I really do NOT like H2O. I did post "Stop Making Sense" on H20 at the same time I posted it here, under the same profile name, AhHah. Got very little response there. I do not want to argue with anyone about their beliefs. I just want to know what other ex-JWs are thinking and share my thoughts without getting competitive. Apparently some prefer not to discuss beliefs. That is OK in my book as long as they don't insult those of us who do.

  I don't begin to understand your other questions to me. Why would you ask me if I presume to be an Awakener? Because of my survey post? I very honestly explained my intentions about that post and I enjoyed your reply. You have definitely hurt my feelings here.

  I was attracted to this forum by the obvious enjoyment of poetry and deep spiritual topics as well. I also believe that all or most of the regular posters are intelligent and caring people. That is why I felt comfortable enough to introduce myself with my poetry. That is something that I have never done before in my life -- with anyone. The warm replies not only made me feel welcome, but also made me feel comfortable sharing my thoughts about God and religion. Based on the survey so far, it seems that many of us feel very similarly.

  However, I no longer feel welcome on this forum. I hope that is because my intentions were misunderstood, even though I honestly and clearly stated them. Perhaps people who are quick to speak up here, like I , are viewed with suspicion, perhaps like the typical H2O poster, which I am not. I am not looking for small talk, however. I need meaningful, honest communication about spiritual matters and getting on with life after coming out of a mind-controlling cult. One way that I cope with that haunting experience is by writing. It is a part of me that is finally just starting to pour out.

  I offered that post tonight in a spirit of friendship and appreciation of what I have to come to believe is MOST valued at this forum -- a friendly place to hang out, without making waves. I hope that some of you enjoy it. When I was writing it, tears were flowing. I believe that I am still grieving for myself at times, for a life that I didn't have. I wrote it as a farewell to all of you. You are right Waiting, most of those word pictures are not real for me. But that is the beauty of writing, isn't it? We can create a world just the way we would like to see it. . Perhaps that is the real beauty of this forum as well -- a place to escape with people you trust. I am truly sorry that you did not trust me. I did trust all of you.
• 

  AhHah

  Simon,

  Thanks for the encouragement. Unfortunately, I am not sure that most share your sentiments. I did enjoy sharing thoughts with many of you. Perhaps like Path said, most here have already said what they needed to say (and, I believe, are already hearing what they want to hear). I guess I arrived too late.

  I have recently received sarcasm and I can't figure out why. I am a very honest and sincere person, as I believe most here are. I feel very hurt. I wasn't expecting that at all.

  I don't want to feel like an unwanted guest here.

  Best wishes to all.
• 

  Angharad

  Ah-Hah - please don't feel that you are not welcome, I also thought that you survey idea was great and would be good for the forum. I'm really surprised at the responses you got from certain people and don't understand it I'm not surprised you feel hurt.

  Please everyone lighten up, its good to have a variety of topics, some serious some not. Some people are bound to disagree but that is what a discussion is about.
• 

  Pathofthorns

  I've enjoyed your comments here AHhah. You have made things interesting lately by bringing back a spiritual dimention to the board that had faded.

  I thought the survey was interesting. I can't really see how its controversial. You simply asked relevant questions, and no one is forced to answer if they feel uncomfortable answering.

  I think something is lost through this medium. As fascinating as it is, something is always lost along the way.

  Words can only convey so much, and its easy for them to be misunderstood. And maybe even some times someone will say something stupid or thoughtless. But then again we all have our stupid and thoughtless moments, and then we have our moments where we take things more personally and react more quickly than we need to.

  I think we all are going through things these days. No matter how good we feel at any given moment, there's always our past that haunts our memories. In an instant, a single thought can turn a happy disposition into an angry one.

  I'm sure all are glad you are here and hope you are not leaving. The success and survival of this place depends on people like yourself coming here and sticking around . I really don't think there is anywhere else like it.

  So... Back to this survey thing. When are we going to compile the information and analyze what it all means?

  Path
• 

  Roamingfeline

  I, for one, agree with Simon. When I posted my answer above, I was being honest, not sarcastic. I really WAS reminded of some fun times at those places. I was raised around Branson and SDC, in a place where old-fashioned values still means something. Ahhah, maybe I'm dense and you didn't even mean it that way. Haven't read all your answers here yet to find out, but I just wanted to clarify that as far as I'm concerned, you AND your posts are just as welcome here as any of us!

  RCat
• 

  waiting

  Hello AhHah,

  I am sorry that I misinterpreted your short story - it comes off slightly Bevery Hillbilly Style. After the threads at the other posts - it seemed mightily that you were, perhaps, poking fun of a place that shows a family spirit (albeit that is somewhat of a misnomeaner on your part - we're just trying to be friendly and keep a place to hang out for a variety of reasons.)

  We did have a unique poster here not to long ago who did try to change us, mold us, then in turn ridicule us, then attack us. Left a strange vibe. I, again, am sorry if I challenged you as if you were our strange past poster.

  We have at times, on a regular schedule, had many Biblical discussions, debates, arguments, speculations. We also have jokes, life segments, etc. Free speach sort of thing.

  I did post, like others, to your survey - and even apologized for not doing so sooner. It was a good idea (no matter what Carmel said - he's such a fuddy-duddy with his gold chains - and he also apologized for his dork helmet comment).

  Perhaps if you and puppylove decide to swing by again, hopefully soon, we can try again. If you don't like light posts, well, we would like to hear a discussion, or premise, of yours. Sometimes it hard to get a response by throwing an open statement out - but a discussion based on things you've read or have researched would be quite interesting.

  If Frenchy's not around, he comes and goes, then poetry is not a strong suit around here, for discussion,imho. But then Path and 7 just kinda "grove" posting lyrics to songs - they like it - and I don't really think they care if anyone answers. In fact, I suspect Path appreciates it if I don't answer his music threads.

  All about a place to just "be." Sometimes it does get heated between us - but that's a makings of a family.

  Hope to see you again.......

  waiting

  Edited by - waiting on 30 September 2000 8:49:15