Need to vent: Wife just went in full cult mode, huge fight. she is so brainwashed (page 4)

Oubliette

GTTM,

Next time she calls you an "apostate" tell her that you resent that term and that name-calling is juvenile and hurtful.

Tell her as you do not want her to talk to the elders about your private marital relationship and that no matter what, YOU will not talk to them. (As you correctly said, they have no legitimate authority over you.)

Finally, reassure her of your love for her and love of truth (the real truth).

quest81

GTTM: I see. That said, it appears you are both on the extreme ends of the spectrum. She is gung-ho on defending her faith, while you are equally polarized against it.

If you are willing to put in the work, you can find common ground. Though it will realistically mean making concessions and compromise especially with children involved. There's a book by Dale McGowan see image below I've been reading that addresses your situation to an extent:

There's a sample on Amazon. You could read it and see if it might be of help?

westiebilly11

perhaps her cult mode is indicative of her inner turmoil....perhaps she is struggling with making sense of it all...perhaps....the old 'methinx thou dost protest too much 'thing...she may be wanting to be out but the cult mindset is holding her back..after all..what about the headship principle?...why is she being provocative..attacking...?...

Giordano

Thanks Sail for sharing your article......... excellent points!

silent

I wonder why she is asking? I've found that usually when a Witness asks things, it's never for an innocent reason. They are doing the bidding of someone like an elder or family member - doing the spying and dirty work. No doubt she is off and reporting this to someone somewhere. The best thing I would say, *IF* (and this is a big *IF*) you wish to stay together and don't mind lending lip service to supporting her activities, taking her to the Hall and dropping her off on bad-weather days like snow if that's where you live, then you don't give her any grounds for divorce or at the very least, you show you're amicable to what she wants to do. The more you conduct yourself in a kind and Christian manner that is un-dub like (an answer when mild turns away rage), then you prove yourself the bigger person, the more Christ-like person, and you gain the upper hand. I wouldn't engage her in any more conflicts - just tell her that you'll support her beliefs as long as she respects you as her supporting mate. That puts the entirety of the situation on her and she will have to do the cheating or whatever devious plan she has to concoct to justify divorcing or leaving you. I don't know your entire personal situation, but it's a great plan of attack if you can love her despite her beliefs. Usually sincere dubs aren't too hard to get along with once they learn to respect you for your beliefs. On the other hand, if she's a wild and crazy dub bitch, then there is no hope and I wish you the best.

goingthruthemotions

just got off the phone

it gotten so much worse...she said she cant live with an apostate and that she cherishes the org. and believes all the changes are correct and if more changes come. she will accept them. she holds the brothers in higher estitmee than me.

said she was going to the elders for spiritual counsel. i told to them them not to bother talking with me. and that she doesn't have my persmission to alllow them to talk with our sons.

i will get the authorities involved.

not looking good...she is so brainwashed.

goingthruthemotions

right now she is a wild and crazy dub.....this sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cappytan

gttm: I'm really sorry bro.

Man. I don't know what else to say. Anything else would be trite.

That is so sad that she can't let you have your own beliefs.

This organization likes to brag about their victories in championing freedom of religion when their policies oppress freedom of worship more than anyone else.

flipper

GOINGTHRUTHEMOTIONS- Sorry to hear that things are going from bad to worse in this situation. I experienced this as well with my former wife ( a JW ) back in 1998 before we split. It's good that you have a counselor that you can talk to as it can be a really good anchor for you at this time.

sowhatnow

what happened to , win over your mate without a word?

her flipping out and poking the hive doesn't seem like shes following gb advice, [or is she?]

seems to me shes provoking you so you leave,and she will be innocent to the blame? why start an argument when she full well knows how you feel unless she has a hidden motive. hmm.

not to dismiss your grief by any measure, but Id like to duct tape her to a chair stuff a rag in her mouth and proceed to show her a few videos from sam harris . snap her out of it.

or on the religiously favorable side, some watchtower examination videos

or this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88GTUXvp-50

Need to vent: Wife just went in full cult mode, huge fight. she is so brainwashed

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