I NEED YOUR INPUT ON THIS ASAP..

by Mary 56 Replies latest jw friends

  • tall penguin
    tall penguin

    Or you could bring him out to this Friday's T.O. apostafest. That would be interesting.
    :) tall penguin

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free
    Or you could bring him out to this Friday's T.O. apostafest. That would be interesting.

    I promise I'll be nice to him for the first hour...Wait a minute, is this guy an elder??? Make it 15 minutes.

    W

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    I agree with Bryan

    May be his idea is the best. Thanks for the e.mail..What is this about Fridays apostafeast? & a question that is driving me nutty than I am- WHO IS FINALLY FREE????????/

  • Mary
    Mary
    Or you could bring him out to this Friday's T.O. apostafest. That would be interesting.

    LMAO..........ya right!

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free
    WHO IS FINALLY FREE

    It's me - Walter. We met some time back. I just use a different online id now.

    W

  • Legolas
    Legolas

    I would tell him the truth.

  • Why Georgia
    Why Georgia

    Hi Mary,

    Let me just say this...How spiritual are the Elders really? A lot of them are worse people than the regular rank & file....You didn't mention a lot of things that would help us help you...Was he made an Elder because there aren't a lot of men in the Congregation, is he super pious, was it his turn to swing the mike?

    How often do you communicate with this person? Is it a few times a year? Is it by phone? Is it emails or letters? How personal is this relationship? Does this person have regular contact with people you know or are related to that are witnesses?

    I know you've said you were good friends 18 years ago...but that was a long time ago and people change. I know I am not the same person I was that long ago.

    It may just be him touching bases with someone he had a great friendship with 18 years ago...but then again it could be a fishing expedition. - sex, information, etc..you name it!

    Also, I don't know if you mentioned if his wife knows he will be meeting you. If she knows then great! But if she doesn't know then why doesn't she know?

    I would ask him what are you hoping to get out of this visit? If you were such good friends why hasn't he seen you in 18 years?

    I'm sorry I am so suspicious...its my nature.

    Also, you could just go and fly by the seat of your pants...When and if he starts talking about JW stuff...you could say...Friend - I know all about the JW/WTS/Awake - I want to know how my friend is doing....and that should shut down any religious talk.

    WG

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    I'm going to answer as a non-JW. Your current status as a Witness is secondary to your qualities as a person, no? Then I don't see any need to pre-warn this fella on your current status with the society. Is he an interesting person? Would you like to get caught up on old times? Say so, and make a date for coffee.

    AT COFFEE, it will likely come up what you are doing "in the truth" these days. Your search for truth is just fine, but you no longer involve yourself with the Jehovah's Witnesses. If he's uncomfortable at that point, it's his problem and his doctrine that causes him difficulties, not yours.

    The way I see it, your "spiritual status" should always be secondary to who you are as a person. Don't be walking around with a big stamp on your forehead marked "untouchable". On the other hand, since it is secondary to who you are, don't be ashamed to bring it up if asked.

    The problem is all in HIS HEAD not yours.

  • MerryMagdalene
    MerryMagdalene

    I agree with Undercover, Bryan, and jgnat...go meet your old friend, play it by ear, and don't make his baggage your baggage.

    Best wishes!

    ~Merry

  • Mary
    Mary
    WhyGeorgia asked: How often do you communicate with this person? Is it a few times a year? Is it by phone? Is it emails or letters?

    Usually by email, although he usually calls me by phone once every couple of years.....

    How personal is this relationship?

     Like I said, we were good friends a long time ago but yes, people do change.
    Does this person have regular contact with people you know or are related to that are witnesses?
     Nope.
    It may just be him touching bases with someone he had a great friendship with 18 years ago...but then again it could be a fishing expedition. - sex, information, etc..you name it!
    No, he does not want sex from me.....if he did, I think he would have tried something 20 years ago

    Also, I don't know if you mentioned if his wife knows he will be meeting you. If she knows then great! But if she doesn't know then why doesn't she know?
    I'm sure he's told her. I spoke to her on the phone last time he called and she has no problem with him and I being friends although before they started dating, she most definitely viewed me as a threat because she had the hots for him and she assumed I did too. Once they were engaged, and she finally realized that I was not interested in him that way, then she was fine with me.
    I would ask him what are you hoping to get out of this visit? If you were such good friends why hasn't he seen you in 18 years?
    Um, because we live 4,000 miles away from each other.......

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