hi there,
i want you to know i am moved by your advice
you are so right about letting go of hate
it wont change anything at all and i will be the only person that suffers.
deep down the reason behind my unhappiness is that i have grow up from childhood with panic attacks and anxiety which has made my everyday life difficult due to the nature of anxiety and panic attacks.
now im like a prisoner in my own home, i rarely go out socially except when i need food etc.
ive always been a shy introverted person too so i tend to hold things in which doesnt help.
i get by with the medication prescribed by my doctor and im living on welfare for the moment having lost my job as a traffic warden after 4 and a half years.
i still pray to jehovah and ask him to help me in whatever way he can.
im currently restudying the bible but so far havent gone to the meetings yet again due to this anxiety problem.
im trying to get myself to go at some point soon as its the only way i can make real progress.
i regret the day i ever allowed hate to settle in my heart, hating hasnt helped me at all.
i do need to cultivate love but i find it hard to love god, i love his creations, such as women, animals, food, and im glad i am a man and able to appreciate the value and beauty of women etc.
but still i find it hard to love jehovah.
perhaps i need to learn more about him
from how he has dealt with people in the past.
i dont want to be destoyed and neither do i want you to be either
we both deserve to know what jehovah is really like under perfect conditions.
im sure there is still hope for you..my advice to you is try not to give up hope
and i hope you will find your way back to jehovah
i hope everyone will
after all we are his creation
adam and eve threw away what they had.
why should we in turn do the same?
if we cant yet love god then we can surely love each other in the sense of directing the lost sheep to the heavenly father who would no doubt welcome them and us.
remember the story of the prodigal son?
well i am the son and you are the daughter
you know jehovah better than me because you were once close to him
and by your advice to me you are still close to him.
i would love to see you in paradise rejoicing and full of happiness and being glad that we went back to jehovah before it was too late.
please give serious thought to my advice and thank you so much for yours to me, it is greatly appreciated.
ps sorry i took so long to respond to your initial post but i havent logged into this site since 2005.
i hope to hear from you again.
best wishes from trevor ellis
