HELP Needed in custody case! (page 2)

Tina

(((((((((((((essie))))))))))))
Thank you for looking after the 'lambs'! I hope it turns out positively.I'm glad there are posters here who have what it takes to help. Hope this finds you well.luv,T

sf

{{{{{Hugs Es}}}}}

I caught this in your post Es:

"...The mother lost custody because as usual, the JW spouse used all kinds of manipulation in court. Remember the Barry case, guys!"

My concerns here are of a curious nature. Aren't all judges in such cases AWARE of other cases going on in the courts; such as the timing with this case and the Berry case? My mind tells me that the judge in the custody case must have been aware of the Berry case and what it all entailed. Wouldn't he have considered the Berry case, at least, at the potential for harm if returned to the family where harm COULD occur to the child? And was it established in the custody trial that there was in FACT a risk of her being near the family member who they FEARED would harm her in a sexual way? And if so, wouldn't these said facts have any bearing or weight on other cases?

I hope I'm making sense and can understand some of the law in these cases, even though I may not ask them in a sensible way. I just want to try to make some sense of all the laws that protect the adults, yet rarely protect the kids right, FROM BIRTH. Seems as soon as a human is born, their life,soul and very freedom is never really areality to begin with. You are born as someones property and all your rights are null/void until your an adult.

I resent that I even have to qualify as an "adult"...they suck! That's why I won't "conform" to that "institution of thought" where, just because I am an "adult" that I rule...that's krap. I am NOT above my child. Her voice is strong and she respectfully is allowed to express it without fear of displaying any emotion in her expression that goes against "how you speak to an adult/elder" (ugh).
If she's pissed at me, she's fully allowed to express it...in the way she needs to with all her emotion and thoughts, without interruption.
If I do not allow her to do this, she will "store" it. And we know what happens when you "store" emotions and thoughts about your parents that should have been allowed to be freely expressed, don't we?

Respectfully, sKally

alamb

I am thanking you for them for the day they understand what has been done.
Thank you all for your kindness and listening hearts.

silentlambs

Does every one understand what a victory this is?
Just like the mother said,"He chose the religion over the kids!"
Thank goodness!
He couldn't promise not to shun the mother or not to teach the kids to do the same.They were supposed to be with him tonight but because of this recent turn of events they are safely snug in their beds at their mom's home instead!!!
Yea!yea!
Sheila

noidea

alamb,

The game he is playing is so common. Anything to have control. Your children are the pawns. As tempting as it may be you have to be careful of your next step. You are going to have to be the stable one for your girls they are really going to need you to be that for them. They may not understand things now but hold it together one day they will. Please keep us posted you and your girls will be in our thoughts.
Love surpasses all!

thinkers wife

ALamb,
I am so sorry that you and your children are going through this trauma.
When Thinker got divorced (the ex tried to play dirty) he did all kinds of searches on the law of the state, on the internet. You could do the same I am sure, for the laws in Utah. Take notes and do your homework!!
I wish you success!
TW

Francois

I wish it was as easy as all that to use "all kinds of manipulation" and win custody of minor children. The fact that 95% of custody is awarded to the mother is morally, ethically, and statistically indefensible, but that's another story.

The fact that a mother was unable to retain custody of minor children when the odds were so overwhelmingly in her favor tends to indicate that there was something going on with the mother that so repulsed the court that it felt it had no choice but to go against almost a century of precedence.

In Georgia for instance, where the ratio is something like 97:3, the mother must be ruled mentally incompetent, be incarcerated, or something else pretty bad (a judge in Cobb county famously said, "I seen a calf follow a cow; I ain't never seen a calf follow no bull. Custody is awarded to the mother. Even a prostitute's got the right to her children." And this ruling was handed down 25 miles outside Atlanta!)

Just for grins, it's interesting to note that according to DFACS records, when the mother is non-custodial, compliance with court orders for child support is 21% worse than when the father is non-custodial. So much for dead-beat dads; can you say dead-beat parent?

Anyway. If a mother cannot retain custody of minor children at the Superior Court level, the battle is truly uphill. Usually, the only argument to take to the appellate court is that the judge abused his descretionary power. So you've got some person's brethern on the bench who they meet every day at the Club of the High & Mighty for lunch ruling that their Superior Court buddy over-reached. It ain't a pretty picture. And it's damn costly to get to the appellate court, too.

Face it. If you ain't got lots of money, you can't fight a case like this. You get the kind of justice you can afford in this country. It's essentially hopeless. And this is just the reason why so many fathers - who have lost all hope and who have no money - take their children and disappear. They've been fucked by a system that's biased in favor of the mother, and which sets up a situation where the mother can and does use children as weapons of revenge. It ain't a pretty picture. And only women can change it by demanding equal treatment in domestic law. When that happens, many men will for the fist time be interested in things like equal pay for equal work, the glass ceiling, etc.

Francois

alamb

95% of disputed custody cases against mother are from abusive spouses. 50% of those win. They usually have greater resources financially and that's pretty much the bottom line.

Kat_

<<My father who molested me signed an affidavit against me saying I was mentally uncapable of raising children due to being abused as a child.>> - alamb

Did he also sign the affidavit that says he is mentally incapable of signing any affidavits due to his own past as an abuser?

If I read your post right, I think there should have been one more affidavit to sign.

Esmeralda

Franciose:

In this instance the only thing that the Mom, alamb has done 'wrong' is leaving the Borg. I am thinking (just my own thought) that in this case, the fact that the girls being asked which parent they wanted to go with, (a great thing in most cases) backfired.

Usually children will choose who they are happiest with. But can you imagine the terror in a young, childish mind if you believe that God is going to kill you if you're at Mommy's house and not Daddy's when Armaggedon comes?! That Mommy has demons in her mind just because she believes the Bible differently than Daddy?

You may say that kids are smart, that they can see through that kind of manipulation. But I share custody of a very bright five and a half year old with my JW ex, and she comes home spouting more WT garbage all the time, something new every week (he gets her on weekends)

It takes me and my husband all week to make a dent in what my ex drills into her by taking her to meetings and in service Saturday AND Sunday (they actually arranged a Saturday bookstudy at my Uncle's house so that my ex could bring my daughter to two meetings in a row!)

She begs him not to make her go to meetings two days in a row, asks to do something else with him instead, but he says that they "have no choice because it's what Jehovah wants."

She told me before that she couldn't believe that God would kill me at Armaggedon because I'm a "good Mommy, and so sweet and kind to her." She sees, at times, how clearly her Dad is trying to manipulate her. On other days, though, she has anxiety and panic thinking that all the non-JW relatives that she loves will die shortly at the hands of Loving God. Especially her mom.

In alamb's case: the father failed to meet the court's requirement to sign an affadavit stating that he would not teach the children to shun their mother. So at least for now, they are with their mother, where they belong.

I definitely believe that there are good fathers out there who get screwed (pardon the language) by the system. I have been told that I was stupid for allowing my ex to have joint custody. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life in court.

But alamb's situation is totally different. If you read the rest of the thread and saw her answers to earlier questions, I hope you can better understand the situation now.

My best
Essie

P.S. Note to alamb and all, I'll be away from the computer most of this weekend. Eyestrain. Love ya'll!

HELP Needed in custody case!

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