by MsMcDucket 30 Replies latest jw friends
Sometimes, I find myself sitting alone in the house. I don't have very many friends, because of the troof. I'm a introverted person anyway. I talk more on here than in real life. I have to find something to do to fill my empty space, especially now since two of my daughters have moved out.
What makes life a little easier for you?
This is real life.
I talk to my dogs, I do some cooking or stitching, I come back to the board.....
I need to get a hobby. Start knitting or something. My friends at work have invited me to go out with them, but I haven't been in a partying mood. I guess that I'm in a blue funk.
My mum and I make "angel quilts" she makes the quilts and I cross stitch designs. They are quilts that they wrap little babies that dont make it in so the parents have something to keep. It keeps things in perspective, and it makes me feel like I am ding something worthwhile
Did you ever talk to your friend about that threesome thing? How's everything going with you?
Classes helped me. As it turned out I made other friends and haven't really aquired any from the classes, but I could have easily enough. I also made quite a few friends at church, but that's a step too far for many here.
Meeting people and making friends isn't as hard as most people imagine. Just bear in mind that everyone you meet is just as likely to have hang-ups, low self-esteem, and generally want to be reached out to, too.
Just because we were raised as JWs, doesn't mean we have the monopoly on being socially inept. The experience of reaching out is worth throwing yourself into
Then you can come back here and tell us how well you got on (((hugs)))
Little Toe, I'm scared friendship brings baggage. I don't even know if I can handle having friends now. I can barely make it to work. I think that I should join the YWCA and start working out. What do you think?
Hey there MsBucket, personally I think that as easy as it is to do it, that it's a mistake to use this board or any other on-line forum to fill such big social voids in your life. I have to stop myself from falling into that trap myself, so I'm probably not one to preach!
The thing is that you speak of yourself as being rather introverted, but perhaps that has been as a result of circumstance more than personal choice and personality type. Clearly you've had severey reduced opportunities to engage in the real world being a mum and a jw for many years.
My only adivce is to take up every opportunity that comes your way, even if the last thing you feel like doing is leaving the house. Perhaps you might not feel like you're the best of company, but I can guarantee you that you will always feel better when you come home for having gotten yourself out and about. I believe that hybernating and shutting yourself off from the world is terribly unnatural, and unhealty for you. You owe it to yourself to do your best to build new networks and start finding yourself and who you really are for the first time.
Perhaps try making a mental list of those things you can do. Like joining a cycling club, doing some voluntary work, starting a new career, definitely consider going back to study at uni or doing some college courses. Don't force yourself to be involved in things you don't enjoy just because certain types of hobbies suit other people. I'd definitely consider doing some group travel, plenty of people travel alone and it's not nearly as scary as you think. Take up meditation classes, or whatever it is that floats your boat. Start dating again, if you're not already happily hitched, and have some real fun. Only you can maximise the quality of your life. It's easy for us to sit back and say that life's dealt us a pretty rough hand, but you're plenty young enough to build on what you've got:)
If all that fails prod your daughters to spit you out some grankiddies to look after;))
luv frog x
"Friendships bring baggage"? Good lord....you want to buy them a drink not frickin marry them. A bit cynical don't you think?
You need to learn to lean on others in time of need. Just like you need to be leaned on when others need you. It's a two way street. Highly worth it I might add. No one in the KH was a true friend. They were fair weather friends. When I first started associating with "worldly" folks....I assumed they'd be just as bad as I had been taught. Wow, what a difference. They are TRUE friends. But you will only get out of a friendship what you put into one.
What do you think?
I think it's a great idea
Little by little, step by step. Rome wasn't built in a day, and there really is no hurry. Take it at your own pace, and see how it goes. Half the battle is having the temerity to put yourself in situations where you might actually (gawd-fobid) interact with people
