Spankings Cause Aggression and Anxiety in Kids

by Gretchen956 28 Replies latest social family

• 

  mrsjones5

  well I dont think spanking is the root of all violence in the world. I for one spank only occasionally and only for something of a serious matter. I dont believe in spanking a child who is younger than 4, it's not effective. I dont believe in spanking for minor infractions, also not effective. Most times I take things, toys, privileges, tv time, etc away. And a lot of the time I talk to my children. Yes there are those who use spanking as something to fall back on all the time and use it ineffectively but making broad statements that those who spank are lazy is a bit extreme. Being a parent is very stressful and no one on this earth is perfect at it, not even you Kid-A.

  Josie
• 

  kid-A

  Being a parent is very stressful and no one on this earth is perfect at it, not even you Kid-A.

  I get stressed out all the time, life is constant stress and children are a part of that stress. Nonetheless, if it is unacceptable for me to hit my co-workers when they stress me out at work, it is equally unacceptable to hit a defenseless, physically weaker child. Violence is violence and it is always wrong.
• 

  mrsjones5

  I get stressed out all the time, life is constant stress and children are a part of that stress. Nonetheless, if it is unacceptable for me to hit my co-workers when they stress me out at work, it is equally unacceptable to hit a defenseless, physically weaker child. Violence is violence and it is always wrong.

  Your co-workers are adults. Children are not adults and dont have the same reasoning skills or rights as adults. I do not treat my children like they are mini adults and I dont abuse them just because they are smaller than me. I have a responsilbilty to train,raise, and guide my children to adulthood which means that they have to do what I tell them to do not what they want to do. Like I said before I only spank on occasion and I do not consider it to be violence. We are of different opinions on this.

  Josie
• 

  hamsterbait

  
  I have seen vicious toddlers bashing other toddlers. I know the parents, these uninhibited demons have never even been given a gentle tap on the behind.

  It is strange that some of the most violent societies are actually ones where young children grow up knowing that inflicting pain and injury on others does not immediately result in the same happening to them.

  HB

  As for creating an immediate inhibition of life threatening behavior (running across a busy street when alone) "If you ever do that I'll spank you so hard." works better than any account of what might happen. Any parent knows that in a young person's mind, they always think accidents and death happen to others. They however, will be careful.
• 

  upside/down

  Kid-A....

  Tell me you were kidding...

  u/d(of the lazy violent unloving parent class)
• 

  truenote

  Oddly enough, I had a discussion about spanking a child. Although I am not a parent or charge. I did raised a niece from newborn.

  I 100% believe in spanking your child when appropiate. I am not saying that children should be abuse or beaten or mistreated in such a way where the spanking has went to far. But I also believe that we should let the punishment hit the crime. Spanking should be allowed but not the only means to discipline. For example, one time I had to spank my niece for leaving out the gate of the yard after a number of warnings and talks. My nephew, the second oldest, I just told him I was disappointed in him and that was wrong because I just told him about the rules.(He lived somewhere else at the time.) Both were effective. Just as we , in America, have laws that are suited for whatever crime we should with children. Some kids just need warnigs, some need restrictions, some need lectures or visual aid to see errors, and some need spankings. I think the keys are love, self-control, thought on the parents or guardians end. We want to love enough to enforce the correct punishment, self-control not to go over or under board when punishing, and thought as to what will be the most effective way to cause are

  children to listen and learn whatever rules we set.
• 

  Ingenuous

  In Kenya, on the other hand, where use of physical discipline is common and considered normal for the most part, moms were most likely to spank or engage in similar disciplinary tactics. In a study conducted in Kenya in 2003, 57 percent of grandmothers reported caning, pinching, slapping, tying with a rope, hitting, beating, and kicking as forms of discipline they had used on their grandchildren.

  Questions: How much is to be tolerated in the name of what's considered "common and normal?" Is beating and kicking acceptable because it is a cultural norm? Was wife beating OK when it was practiced in older societies where such behavior was a cultural norm, even expected? Is it OK today in societies which still view it as "common and normal?" How is a "societal norm" defined: the "norm" practiced by a million people in a country or the "norm" practiced by a dozen neighbors who live on the same block in the same neighborhood/same small village in a rural area? Where is the line to be drawn between "appropriate discipline" and abuse, and who is to draw it?
• 

  forsharry

  I used to have to go out back and cut my own switch, and you don't see any agression or anxiety issues in me gosh darnit!

  ::pops her 20mg of Lexapro and smiles::

  I'm being facetious. I think discipline is important. I was rarely spanked, but when I was it wasn't out of anger on my parents part. I knew just why i was getting it and what I did wrong...I learned for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. But whether you believe in it or not, we're seeing the fruits of our "collective" labor in not DISCIPLING (training up a child, actually being a parent, etc.) children. I am seeing some snot-nosed punk-assed kids these days. I'm seeing children do things that my mother would have taken me out of this world for and instead nothing happens...the parents laugh and smile at little Timmy and Susie "expressing" themselves.

  What is the flip side of this twististic, please? What is the ratio of badly adjusted adults who suffered NO disciplinary actions as children?
• 

  Gretchen956

  You know I'm not so sure its the no spankings that is causing the problems with kids now days. I almost think its parents that don't use ANY discipline. There are so many ways of disciplining your kids without the violence. I think some parents don't act like parents, they don't set any rules or enforce them, they aren't consistent, they don't talk to their kids, or they try to be their friend instead of their parent. The list is much much longer but I'm rushed. So anyway, my point is, this is much more complex that that. Society anymore seems to think violence is necessary. I just don't get that.

  Sherry