Do jw youths understand that if they just didn't get baptized their parents would not be able to shun them later? They must be able to see how this works in other families. Is it feasable for a jw teen to reject baptism? or will the parents pressure them until they do?
Do jw youths understand
by carla 28 Replies latest jw friends
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findingmyway
The most pressing thing on my mind wasn't that I might ever get disfellowshipped, but that if I don't get dedicated and baptized that I will not gain everlasting life. It never crossed my mind that I would fall short and be shunned by my family.
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blondie
JW youths understand that if they don't get baptized they have to move out when they turn 18.
Also
baptism = surviving Armageddon (the only way)
So parents pressure their children to get baptized
Also, brothers (who are "reaching out) are pressured by the elders if their children don't get baptized by the time they hit their teens.
Blondie
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daystar
That's what I did. Most teens felt pressured though. I know I did. The kids were getting b'tised left and right. And yet I knew they were still doing stuff I knew they should not have been. Maybe I had a higher sense of integrity? Maybe they just caved in to pressure where I didn't? I don't know.
I wanted to do things that I knew I shouldn't have wanted to do. I could not in good conscience have gotten baptised at that time. I guess the Elders felt they could still ban me from attending meetings, because that's what they did.
It is feasible. However, they must be prepared to come under a great deal of real, social pressure.
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Finally-Free
Do jw youths understand that if they just didn't get baptized their parents would not be able to shun them later?
There are some people who have never been baptized and are still shunned by their parents. Some JWs believe that "knowledge brings responsibility" whether a person is baptized or not, and will still shun a person on that basis.
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stillAwitness
I knew I was not ready to be baptized but every young one in my hall was doing it and my mother pressured me for almost a whole year till I finally caved in (she has always been big on lookin good in the con.) I threw up the night before and regret it to this day.
But I never thought about its long term effects as far as me now being in risk of being D'F or shunned from my family for any reason. When you're 14, 15 yrs old all you're thinking about is pleasing your parents, getting them off your back. I knew if I wanted to be able to have my own car, drive and gain any ounce of freedom I would have to take the plunge. And so I did.
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troubled mind
Most figure that one out, but the peer pressure to conform is terrible by 16, 17 ,if the kid is not baptised they start feeling marked as bad association .They can't perform simple duties around the hall like microphones , their friends are pressured to persuade them, otherwise they may not be able to hang out with them. Basically if your an older teen not baptized something is wrong with you. I told my sons they were not allowed to get baptized until out of teen years , and if anyone gave them problem about it send them to me .But peer pressure got to two of them and they caved at 17 , I begged the last one not to do it ,but he couldn't stand feeling as an outcast at school and also at KH .
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undercover
I knew I was not ready to be baptized but every young one in my hall was doing it and my mother pressured me for almost a whole year till I finally caved in (she has always been big on lookin good in the con.) I threw up the night before and regret it to this day. But I never thought about its long term effects as far as me now being in risk of being D'F or shunned from my family for any reason. When you're 14, 15 yrs old all you're thinking about is pleasing your parents, getting them off your back.
I can second those sentiments.
I was the last of my peer group to get baptized. Even though they all got baptized, I knew deep down inside that I wasn't ready. I actually understood what getting baptized meant more than they did...that's why I was reluctant to get baptized. I knew that it was a very big step and that I as a 14 year old was not mature enough to make that committment. But pressure from my parents, the elders and their continually pointing out that everyone else my age was already baptized was enormous. It was actually pointed out that I would be considered spiritually weak for not making that dedication.
Some 14 year olds are very mature for their age, but I admit, growing up as a naive JW kid, I was not mature and that pressure evetually had me believing that I was not being spiritual enough in my thinking and that I had to acquise to appease not only my parents but Jehovah.
It is emotional blackmail pure and simple. What loving parent would do that? Parents who are brainwashed by a cult and convinced that they have to indoctrinate their children as cult members.
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caligirl
I got baptized just because everyone else was and I thought it would gain me an ounce of respect from people in the hall. I was wrong. They all still looked at me like there was something bad about me. I guess in a way they were right. Even at that age, I disagreed with the teachings.
My stepson got baptized because his friends were. Unfortunately, he has fallen for the whole thing hook, line, and sinker at this point. He is pioneering, and applying to bethel when he turns 19. But we do know that the only way that his mother will pay for his car insuance and gas is if he pioneers, so it must be that pioneering is easier than getting a job!
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bigwilly
Yep, dad was an elder (PO at one point) exbethelite, pioneer, etc. I had to follow in dad's footsteps and got baptised at age 10 (cuz everyone can make well thought out life decisions at 10). I pretty much learned to tell people what they wanted to hear from a very young age. At the time the brainwashing was well implanted and the idea of ever leaving never crossed my mind. In retrospect, never getting baptized would have made alot of things easier over the years.
Big Willy