HELP! If anyone wouldn't mind to talk?

by truenote 18 Replies latest social relationships

• 

  Kaput

  if you feel the need for details of why I gotten privately reproved, or why I resigned, (LOL) I will put you to sleep and tell the tale.

  Why don't you tell us now, BEFORE you put us to sleep?
• 

  Cordelia

  i would like to hear your story too.

  i know only too well the heartachce of trying to live for your old ill parents!! but you need to do what makes you happy.

  <<<<<hugs>>>>>
• 

  AuldSoul

  Cordelia, take a look at her other threads. It took her a while to figure out how to post replies. Her story is out there...

  How are things with you?

  AuldSoul
• 

  jwfacts

  the next guy that looks you in the eye (and is hot enough), go up and KISS HIM
  Then level with your parents. "It is not the truth. I will never be a JW. I don't want to talk about it unless you can handle the truth. Oh, I love you and will always stick by you."
• 

  david_10

  "I never been good with words."
  Actually, I think you're very good with words. Take it from someone who knows words (me), you're very good with words. I suspect that you also have a lot of other hidden talents, too. Welcome to the board.

  I read your story and I know exactly how you feel: I also was kind of the oddball loner, always on the outside. What jumps out at me from your post, and I don't think that anyone else has picked up on it, is that you are wracked with guilt. For anyone who's ever been associated with the JW's, that's completely normal, and that's exactly the way they want you to feel. You're supposed to feel guilty about everything, even about taking the air you breathe, and that's not much of an exaggeration. You're much easier to control that way. So lose the guilt. It's hard to do----------------------I still struggle with it-------------------but work on it, and you'll be much happier and you'll be better able to make rational decisions about what you want for your life.
  

  Again, Welcome. We're glad to have you.
  

  David
• 

  diamondblue1974

  My problem is that I'm a woman,24, now. And I still take care of my parents. Eventhough I believe to some degree about the morals and laws I was taught, I'm am very passionate about not returning to the JW org. I live with my parents because I love them very much and take care of them. But along with that arrangement comes the constant guilt, personal pain, and defense of my decisions. My parents are hoping that I will somehow changed my mind, or that I will follow in past foot steps of pretending I was happy and going along with the crowd; while in a faith I'm not sure I really support. It's crazy! I don't want others to read this and think

  I never considered moving out, or on with my life. In fact, I had my own apartment and college classes. but my parents are sick and getting older, and unlike many, I believe in returning the favor of caring for your parents. So I moved out because I realize that as much as they drive me insane, I love them, and I love being that caretaker. It's just have anyone ever been in in this place? I mean you believe in no smoking,no premarital sex, the bible laws about being gay, and just being an honest joe or jane while living life in the world that caresless about giving

  and more about me first? I'm a mess. Just give me any words and I'll try to help improve my life here. I never been good with words. I never

  had a friend or life before. Heck, I never been kissed. I just need to re-vamp the closet that is my life. So if you can get the concept or

  idea of what I'm trying to say, let me hear it. And like I mention, I'm candid. So, if you feel the need for details of why I gotten privately reproved, or why I resigned, (LOL) I will put you to sleep and tell the tale. good-bye

  You are certainly a daughter and a half to be caring for your parents and no doubt to a great cost to you personally in many other ways than financial. Its amazing to see someone of your age being so selfless. However you are 24 years old and as yet not experienced anything outside of the parameters you find yourself in; you do appear to hold some of the JW mindset and this is natural but cannot continue if you are to truly grow.

  Decide what you want to do with your life; what are your interests? where do you want to visit? what would you like to learn about more? all these questions will at least point you in the right direction as to where you take your life. You need to drop any guilt like its hot, get some respite care for your parents for a few weeks and take a holiday; even if it means on your own, it might give you some time to think.

  When I split from my first wife (who is also an exJW) I took some time out to reconsider and reconstruct my life and set it in the right direction; things sometimes arent easy but in general if you take control and look after yourself then things will work out and your parents will be cared for.

  Hope to see you post more on here.

  DB74
• 

  freyd

  I've buried both my parents in the past 15 months. Actually they were cremated. I was not their favorite person, as they weren't exactly opposed, but they weren't very supportive either, in very much of anything. Over at Pathways-online.com, ISOMAM wrote recently that he looked forward to meeting his parents the way God intended for them to be. Those are pretty much my sentiments. In this time I also left the JW's for 3 main reasons, I think. 1) CTR was the FDS. There is no FDS in the WTBTS. 2) Israel will be restored when final members of the 144,000 are sealed. 3) Mind control, for lack of a better term. I am now a Bible Student. You're obviouslyl doing the right thing for your parents. Don't forget yourself. As for being kissed, it's been so long I think I forgot how. LOL
• 

  hamsterbait

  Do you have any brothers or sisters to help share the load? Are those in the congregation so callous that they would allow two elderly people to be cared for by an apostate rather than true christians?

  Were you a late baby - this can often impact on your own life.

  Since you don't live with them, you can pursue interests, join clubs, where you can meet some very genuine, nice men. (They are not all sex crazed monsters!!) If you have never been kissed and are a virgin, most normal men would be incredibly moved, and feel privileged, that you chose him to share such intimacy for the first time.

  Everyone goes through a period where the love and loving of parents is no longer enough, but they have not yet found the "one for them."

  What I don't understand is your mentioning that part of being a good person who believes the bible is being against gay sex. I am assuming you need the love of a man - and there is someone out there for you. However if you need something more woman-identified, the disapproval of those you love will be very inhibiting and difficult to face.

  You need to remember that one day your parents WILL die. Then you will have lived life their way, for no reward.

  BE YOURSELF. "To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."

  e. e. cummings

  plus - you are only 24!!!!!!! you have a lovely happy future ahead of yourself - just embrace who you are and live it.

  HB
• 

  Jdarley

  I do have a question as to why you had quit/resigned/whatever ya wanna call it. I am just curious as to why, was it because of all the needed dedication, or the stress it brings upon its youth?? was it the fanaticness?

  I am a youth of 16 and we seem to be oppisite. my family shuns me wanting to be baptized as a JW and me wanting to go to the congration and stuff. But your family is oppisite. what made you want out?