*Serious Question* ...Do you ever HATE yourself by times?

Legolas

If you do, how does one shut off that feeling?....... What can you do?

Anyone got any suggestions?

I'm thinking when you say by times, you might be meaning hate yourself at times? If so, then YES...I've experienced those feelings. Going in to a group therapy counseling program helped me get over the worst of it. I see you live in Canada, in my area they are free with a family doctor's referral.

It is comforting to realize everyone is imperfect, and others struggle with these feelings, too. You can learn skills to divert your thinking to accept yourself more.

I think when you come from such a guilt-driven, gotta-be-perfect-or-die-at-armaggeddon organization, it's hard to love yourself for who you are - in spite of the stupid things we do sometimes.

(((HUGS)))

A quick trip to the doctor; a hot bath with some salts and maybe some candles; take yourself out for a special treat; call a friend. Just a few suggestions.

Rose

JH

No, I don't hate myself.

Only thing I hate, is change. I like when everything stays the same.

Enigma One

I meditate. Those thoughts are poison to your body. You need to purge them immediately.

I also have to remember that I am my own toughest critic. Whether at work, in the gym, or playing. As I posted on another thread, the Dub's do not teach you how to love yourself. They do teach how to feel unworthy, guilty, and worthless. Growing up I was a "fat" kid. So that's whay drives me today still. Not to be fat. But loving oneself is a constant effort.

forsharry

Yes. And I'm on medication and going to therapy to try to correct that. I have turned lack of control in my life (while in the org) into a self-destructive habit, where at least I can control something about me...and I hate it. I'm getting better though. I know I'm not a horrible person, I have friends and loved-ones who think I'm okay...and if they like me, then I SHOULD be able to like myself. But it's hard.

Forsharry

P.S. - You asked for suggestions...my bad! :) There's something you can do by yourself...just stop being so hard on yourself. When you feel those negative thoughts come over you, stop yourself mentally and really look at WHY you are thinking that. Is there a stressor involed? Are you around a certain someone? Are you doing something in particular? Find out where and what causes you to go into this thought loop. I find now I can talk myself down off of such negative thought patterns now that I can stop myself mentally and address it versus just letting it run wild in my head.

vitty

Im doing it less and less, the more time I spend out of the org the more I like myself. You have to change the inner dialog with yourself, its not easy to do when yourve done something stupid or something you regret.

If you start having a go at yourself , think of something positive. Its not easy, maybe you should make a list of all the things you like about yourself, then when your down , read it.

riko

I also deal with frequent feelings of self-loathing and I find them very hard to ignore. Most of the time I don't, and I give into them completely, doing everything I can to hurt myself along the way. I know it's not healthy but I don't feel like ignoring the feeling is healthy either. I'm very self-destructive

I'm not a horrible person, I have friends and loved-ones who think I'm okay...and if they like me, then I SHOULD be able to like myself

Very true

Sad emo

Yes, most of the time. How much I hate myself depends on how low I'm feeling, that also affects how long it takes me to argue the thoughts out of my head. It's a vicious circle sometimes - I hate myself so I think everyone else must hate me too - so I hate myself even more because I think everyone else hates me....

I'm not a horrible person, I have friends and loved-ones who think I'm okay...and if they like me, then I SHOULD be able to like myself

I just put that positive statement into my reply to refer back to when I need!

luna2

Yes. It was the reason I became inactive initially. I loathed my life and myself. I was so depressed I wanted to lay down and die. I didn't want to actively take my own life, I just didn't want to exist any more. It was horrible. I should have gone for professional help...but I didn't.

Instead, I went on a diet, started exercising daily and retreated into a fantasy world. The diet and exercise was fine, but the fantasy world was very, very odd...kind of like a Walter Mitty sort of thing. I hated my real life, so I existed in a dream world 95% of the time...a dream world where I was everything that, in real life, I was not. I'd kind of cruise along in a fog at work, only snapping myself completely out of it a few times a day to deal with tasks that required full concentration. This went on for about a year, until I started meeting up with friends I'd made online. I guess I had to have a real social life, with people who liked me for me and not because they had to (like the dubs), in order to be able to snap out of the fantasy thing. Unfortunately, having a real life that required travel cost me a lot of money. I ignored how much debt I was acquiring until about a year and a half ago...now I'm paying for it.

These days the self-hate usually only comes up when I'm PMSing...oh, and when I found out the whole JW thing was a pile of horse manure. Boy, I felt like a complete idiot for weeks over that one...still do sometimes. This place helps with that a lot.

At any rate, getting professional counseling, improving your diet, exercising (if you don't already), and just doing something you enjoy when you feel down are my suggestions.

(((legolas)))

diamondblue1974

A lot of JWs and ex JWs have problems with self asteem and its taken a while but I also have had to accept that I fitted into that category although much less now than I did before. I was looked down on as a child because I didnt have a dad in the 'truth' and when you are in a social environment of that kind of nature it has an affect on you even as an adult.

As far as self hatred is concerned I wouldnt go as far as to say it was as bad as that but can certainly understand how people can feel that way after suffering what they have in life.

I make it my lifes purpose to live well...because in my view its the best form of revenge!

DB74

Serious Question ...Do you ever HATE yourself by times?