When I hit 19, and showed no signs of interest in finding a nice,suitable brother for a marriage mate, suddenly there started appearing a few "eligible" brothers from out of town at our Sunday meetings. Even stranger, they seemed to be meeting up with my parernts and sitting with us. Stranger still, they had been invited back to our house for lunch! I was working then, and forming my secret plan to save up, get a tiny apartment and fade! This one guy had really impressed the parents. He was a MS, lived in a nearby big city and worked in the Chicago Board of Trade and was a friend of my Mom's cousin at Bethel, therefore without a doubt, a wonderful man! After lunch he says coyly, "I was wondering if "Virgogirl" would like to see a movie?" I said I had some errands to run before work tomorrow, and split in my car, leaving the unwelcome "suitor" to visit with the people who invited him! But they didn't learn. The next guy was from a small farming town and made himself at home in the Lazyboy. He took off his shoes and belched. As far as I was concerned, my parents invited him, I didn't, so I made my excuses. There were a few more till they gave up on me. Imagine the life I could've had... the loving husbandly headship of a MS, part time work, babies, housework and pioneering and getting the children ready for constant meetings while my hubby devoted his efforts to making elder. Did anyone else have well meaning relatives try to fix them up?
Did your parents find you dates?
by Virgogirl 22 Replies latest jw experiences
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Dune
You are basically on your own in my congregation. One thing that i've found to be very confusing is how I seemingly can never get the attention of Witness girls in my area, but always got along with and more foreseable chances to date with non-witnesses. But I figure satan is using these women to get to me :-p
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chrissy
no, but once at a convention mine told a young inquiring mind to reconsider his approach.
...their daughter wasnt spiritually strong enough for the likes of him.
LOL, thanks though. im extremely grateful. -
fullofdoubtnow
My parents weren't jws, so they didn't try to fix me up with a brother, but some of the older married sisters in the kh were real matchmakers, or tried to be. There were 5 or 6 unmarried sisters around my age in our kh, all of us "waiting on jehovah" to provide us with the ideal mate, and 4 of them are still waiting!
Anytime an unmarried man joined the cong, the older sisters would take turns in inviting him round for dinner, always with at least 2 of us eligible sister invited as well. We would be seated either side of him, and once the meal started the host would start questioning him on his future plans, it could be quite embarassing at times!
When dedpoet joined us in 1991, he was seen as top notch marriage material for whichever one of us was lucky enough to attract his attention. What the matchmakers didn't know, however, was that he had been fairly recently divorced, and the last thing he was looking for was another wife right then. I think they tried to fix him up with every single sister in the cong at one time or other, including me, but he wasn't having any of it, though he's told me since he got some really brilliant meals out of it! One sister really did fancy him, and let him know about it, but he was never really interested in that kind of relationship with her, or anyone else at the time, and once he'd left they all lost interest anyway.
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mrsjones5
When I was about 19 or 20, My mother posed as me and placed a personal ad in a national newspaper similiar to National Enquirer - long story but to cut to the chase - mother (posing as me) was corresponding with a canadian brother (who was a bonifined weirdo, he looked like a lumberjack from the 1800's and actually told me he loved to wear bright yellow shirts and red pants to the meetings ) and had invited the man down to our district assembly so that we could meet. I knew nothing about this until one day mother gave me a package which consisted of a letter, a cassette tape, and pictures of said weirdo. Mother told me to read the letter and listen to the tape and then come talk to her, which I did, I even showed the pictures to my brother and his best friend to confirm that I wasnt seeing things. After I did what mother asked I went to talk to her and she told me that she wanted me to write a letter in return to this weirdo and if I did so she would buy me a pair of shoes. I wrote the letter and posted it without showing it to my mother. I remember going to my mother who was sitting at the kitchen table with my father and telling her I had wrote the letter and posted it. She asked what did I say in the letter and I told her that I told the poor man the truth, that it was she not I who had been writing to him, that I had no interest what so ever in him, and that he should not come down to visit me and attend our district assembly. Mother, totally pissed now, says you dont get the shoes. I said that I had agreed to write the letter but she didnt say what I was to put in it, I knew that she had assumed that I knew she wanted me to confirm the invitation for the visit. I turned to my father who confirmed that I was right and told mother to buy me the shoes.
Crazy wasn't it?
Josie
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Ellie
I was the only girl in a small village, everyone else my age was a boy so, to the disgust of my mother, I spent all my time hanging out with worldly boys (although it was very innocent).
So she came up with a master plan of marrying me off to the congregation geek, started to invite him back after meetings and then telling me that his parents wouldn't approve of him playing football or whatever with worldly boys, so maybe we could go for a walk together instead, etc.
It went on for a long time, until he told me his plan, he was going to start a job working as a trainee decorator for another brother so he could save up enough for us to get married.
Being quite a little cow I came up with a plan to get him off my back, I went to a party one Saturday night, got my mate to give me a love bite which I showed off the next morning at the meeting, and it worked, he never came near me again.
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FairMind
I was not a JW when I reached dating age and my parents were also not JWs. I didn't need help finding dates since most girls found me attractive and I was not real shy. FairMind of the male perspective class.
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Lady Lee
Dates? Dates!!!
My mother dragged me around to meet men who were "eligible" (read any JW who was 20 years older than me - I was 16-17).
She actually found one, set up the "dates" (skating parties where she made sure he was going to come and pushed me to be to be friendly and movies where I had to drag along my little brothers), and then proposed to us. She told him he would have to find another book study to attend or marry me. Then she walked out of the room.
Considering he was not baptized yet, but he was only 2 years older than me instead of 20 yrs older, I agreed.
He had been coming to the book study for 5 months and at the end of June she made this proposal. I told her we would get married next year.
Well she hit the roof. We had to get married sooner. OK we'll elope. That didn't go too far either since he wasn't baptized yet.
He was getting baptized at the next DC on Aug 1. So she said we would have to be married the next week Aug 8. I had just turned 18.
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truckerann
Dates?? in the organization?? In the congregation that I use to attend we would have great get-together and dance to western music. a couple of times we would have a band made up of brothers come and play for us. well at this particular get-together this brother and I danced together a couple of times too much. we were good friends and had always been able to talk with each other about almost anything, even today even though he is married and has children. We still talk alot. well it turns out that the brothers (elders) had a little talk with him and the next get-together he would hardly look at me God forbid dance with me. Poor thing he was miserable all night because the only person he could dance with was his sister. That is the organization for you. One dance-he likes you. Two dances-he wants to date you. Three dances-your getting married. Crazy!!
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Finally-Free
There was one elder who was always trying to hook me up with his daughters, but I wasn't interested. He once complained to my boss, also a JW, that I didn't appear to notice that his daughters even exist. There was nothing wrong with his girls, it's just that he was an asshole and loudmouth. There was no way in hell I'd consent to having such a father-in-law for eternity!!!
W