Crazy wasn't it?
That is totally crazy Josie. What was she thinking?
My parents never did any match making for me. In fact, it was frowned upon to visit other congregations in order to find a man. Go figure.
Purza
Did your parents find you dates?
by Virgogirl 22 Replies latest jw experiences
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Purza
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lisavegas420
nope....no one ever tried to set me up or find me a nice eligible brother. In fact, I think the brothers were warned not to date me....
lisa
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Mysterious
Not me personally. My mother was certainly of the opinion that the longer I did without dating the better in her books. However, one of my cousins that was in his early 20's certainly had everyone attempting to fix him up with people. It's almost like the middle ages all over again, don't be an old maid.
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mrsjones5
What was she thinking?
I honestly dont know. Maybe she was so desperate for me to be married to a jw (I missed my chance when the jw guy I was engaged to got another girl pregnant ) and since no one was coming around because I wasnt baptised she thought this was her best option.
Josie
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young hearts, be free..
My isn't a JW and I used to hear all about how the girls at her cafe really liked me and one of them wanted to ask me out..........I was stoked to tell you the truth.....
So although she didn't really find me any dates, she made damn sure I knew that girls other than the dubbo's existed !!!!!
How the times have changed....now no one wants me
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misspeaches
No not at all. First we had a real shortage of any decent guys.... oi... elder wannabes the lot of them. Or resident bizarros.
I used to get the older nosey sisters asking me 'why aren't you married yet' all the time. A sore point with me.
Finally in my early 20's my mother asked me if I was a lesbian. All because I hadn't dated anyone. That was lovely. I will never forget that she did that. I don't care what a person's sexuality is but for her to suggest that there was something different about me because I hadn't dated just proved that she had no idea of who her own daughter was.
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Virgogirl
Yes, Misspeaches, if we were 19 or 20 and not interested in the bizarros, we were under suspicion! Obviously there was a problem. We couldn't be normal, if not desiring to marry one of those odd guys and have babies in the troof, hahaha! Well to spite mine, I did try the lesbo life for a few years, clubbing and dancing in the discos in the 80's and just had a lot of fun! If she thinks I am, may as well be, I thought! My folks never said a word about my "roommates" but they are SO visibly relieved now that my husband and I got married!
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limbogirl
the one sane thing my mother did was to discourage the whackos that would come a callin' looking for young single sisters. we were at a "jw sanctioned event" and this weirdo was all over me -- called me the next day but in the meantime my mother discovered he was recently divorced, had two kids and was approx 20 years older than me -- when he called she basically told him to go to hell. well, not really hell since of course that's a non-jw belief but a similar sentiment. anyway, they got into a huge argument and for once my mother's talent of spinning scripture really did the trick -- that poor guy got the bible thumping of his life! thanks, mom!! :) i was always amazed, appalled, horrified at the parents of some of my friends who so badly wanted their daughters married "in the truth" that they would encourage relationships with any misfit that showed up to the k.h. proclaiming to be a brother. some of these guys had really miserable pasts (jail time, alcoholism, major drug problems) but if they knew the right scriptures or put enough time in knocking on doors they were automatically deemed worthy of marriage. this is my first post on this forum and can I just say that I am so happy to no longer be a jw!!!
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undercover
That is the organization for you. One dance-he likes you. Two dances-he wants to date you. Three dances-your getting married. Crazy!!
It was worse than that in one congregation I attended. If a young, single brother sat next to a young single sister at a meeting, everyone assumed that they were engaged to be married. One elder actually told someone I knew who sat next to a pretty young thang a couple of times, that if you're sitting next to them at meetings, then the friends should be expecting a wedding announcement very soon. Bizarre.
But, back to the main question: The only help I ever got on the subject of dating was, "Well, if you're planning on dating, you better be prepared to get married. So, if you're not ready to get married, then you don't need to bother with taking that girl out." When I finally decided to move out and get married, my parents actually did not speak to me for a while. They thought that I was abandoning them or something. They took it personally.
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luna2
JW mating rituals can be quite strange. Several years ago a friend of mine got tired of waiting for Mr. Righteous to show up on his own (after close to 15 years as a JW) and mentioned that she'd like to meet someone to Sister Social. Sister Social conferred with her mother, Sister Busybody, and they put the word out. Soon there was an appointment set up to meet a brother from another congregation. Sister Social and Sister Busybody warned my friend that this brother was pretty rough around the edges, but that a good wife would be the making of him...or some such tripe. Best of all, he was a PIONEER. Oooooo!
I forget if they all went to a meeting together or if they had a nice little study-the-Watchtower party or what, but this poor guy turned out to be Forrest Gump...only not so attractive. This 30-something man just sat there while his mother interviewed my friend for the position of wife. It was awful, uncomfortable, embarrassing, and totally obvious that Ma Gump would have a very prominant place in her son's marriage. Ewwwwww!
My friend was totally weirded out by the whole experience. After meeting this goober, Sister S and Sister B gushed and giggled about how happy and excited they were for my friend...like this poor guy was some grand prospect. She was completely humiliated to think that they thought that being this man's caretaker was the best she could ever expect, especially since she wasn't a young chick any more. Personally, I think those two loving sisters needed their medication adjusted. I know they figured that once in the New System, this brother wouldn't be slow anymore so everything would be super duper perfect forever and ever...amen, but still!
I honestly don't understand how they could have ever have thought this was a good idea.