Well, I posted a topic a couple of weeks ago, and I promised that I would give an update if there was one. Here is the original thread:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/101644/1.ashx
A stretch went by without anything happening, and I started to feel more confident. I even hung out with this same friend, I will call him John to be creative. Well, last night John came over, on a meeting night, to play poker and drink. First of all, it turns out that he and his wife are on the verge of divorce because of his drinking. It is so bad that he went downtown to file the paperwork at the courthouse - but anyway, it's more important to focus on my meeting attendance. :)
As we played poker and filled glasses of vodka and cranberry (girl drink in my opinion) he gets around to talking about that night when I expressed my doubts about the organization and pretty much proved everything I said. He tells me that he was on a fact finding mission! Apparently, another couple who my wife and I are friends with had expressed concern to "John" about my absence at meetings. They said that they wanted to know what was going on but did not want to upset me by asking. So "John" was instigating the whole conversation to feel me out - and report back. I realize at this point I seem like an idiot, but let me fill in a few details about our conversation - "John" was telling me about different girls he had slept with, girls who are pioneers and have never been disciplined by the elders. "John" was telling me about elders who he regularly gets drunk with and who tell him that they hate going to meetings and wish they could stop. "John" was telling me about skinny dipping parties he went to with ministerial servants and pioneers. "John" filled my head with enough left-over doubt to stumble a whole state's worth of witnesses. But apparently, the only thing that matters is my response and whether or not I have an "apostate" attitude.
So, he reported back to the couple, our so called friends. They proceeded to tell him that I am now considered "bad association" and that he shouldn't be spending any time with me. They also reported that they were informed by my former bookstudy overseer that I am "bad association"; that he (the bookstudy conducter) tried to to talk to me but I wouldn't follow through. (Background: My bookstudy overseer, whom I will call "Dick" never once said hello to me in five months of bookstudies. When I quit attending meetings, he never once called, asked my wife, even pretended to be interested. A few days before the CO visit, he called our phone with this basic message: " I was just calling to see how you both are. Is your health ok? We would like to come by and visit you, preferably this weekend (this message was Friday night). Please call me back tonight.) Well, I did not call him back.
So my friend "John", now drunk, asked me how I feel about missing all the meetings. I replied, 'At what point do you feel responsible to start keeping track of my meeting attendance?' He then said, 'How do you feel about your wife sitting all alone at every meeting?' I replied, 'my wife is very happy with me and we have never considered divorcing.' He then advised me to talk the couple who accused me of being bad association, and tell them that I have just been having a hard time and need to do better, and that is why I have been missing meetings. I replied, 'That would be lying.' He looked shocked and said, 'Are you kidding?' I said, 'No. My life is great.' He winced and acted like I was being foolish. I added, 'The worst thing in my life right now is judgmental fools like this. Everything else is good. My wife and I are happy together. I am making enough money to pay my bills. I love my brand new house. I have friends. I have family. The only negative influence in my life is this garbage." He again shook his head like I was out of my mind.
At the end of the night, he stumbled home. I called our "friends" the next day and confronted the husband about what he said. I let him know that he has every right to consider me good, bad, or lukewarm association, but that the second he started telling others his view of me, he was in deep fecal matter. He denied everything and claimed that he is just concerned about me.
I have been trying to fade peacefully, but everyone from the congregation seems determined to prove my case for me. The one positive is the fact that my wife is seeing how unreasonable they are being toward me. I will update if anything else happens.