Great material here, you guys.
Excellent points about staying relaxed and not worrying about being self-conscious. I'd forgotten that was one of the big hurdles I had to get over. Most people walk through life scared.
Help! How to find FRIENDS?
by jgnat 28 Replies latest social relationships
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truenote
Pretty good advice there. I'm reading about how to be a friend. You know what I think would a problem is that I have some differences. For example, I love romance; But I am guessing I am the only one who did not
see and still don't want to see the movie called, Titanic. Although I love Celine Deon songs, the only song I can't stand is My heart will go.
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hartstrings
What has worked for me is networking groups. I am TERRIBLE at making friends. When I left my entire JW and family 1 1/2 yrs ago to move 2500 miles away, I made a goal of building a new network of friends. I own a business and it has allowed me to join many networking groups in which I've made great friends. I've also made close friendships with some of my previous clients. I now have more TRUE friends than I've ever had in my life. My preschool children also have a great social circle from being a part of a MOMS group.
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tetrapod.sapien
stillconcerned,
ummm....
tet-
Just a hint; 'hooking up sometime' means she's warm for yer form....
LOL!, ya, i know, he he he... being worldly is so weird! and i love it!
cheers mate,
TS
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jgnat
The trick, truenote, when making friends and preserving your uniqueness, is to show an active interest in the other person. Ask questions about their likes and dislikes. When they say something you have in common, say ME TOO! I can't say how wonderful those words are to hear.
Can you imagine, chatting away with a new friend, when they mention as an aside, that they must be the only person on the planet who hasn't seen the Titanic, and you get to blurt out, ME TOO!
I did go see it, but it had been in the dollar theatre for months already. I saw it on the small screen at my sister's place on her wedding anniversary. My B-I-L had gone to a hockey game with the kids.
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jgnat
bttt (back to the top)
Any more ideas, guys, before I wrap this baby up?
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misspeaches
One thing I have found...
As a JW you are taught to assess the person you are going to have a friendship with before you go into it. So remove those boundaries immediately. Just because someone is the complete opposite of you does not mean you won't have a great friendship.
As awful as this sounds, I had never talked to a gay guy until I stopped going to meetings. Now some of my very best friends are gay. Initially in getting my social land legs (hehehe) I would never have considered speaking to a 'gay' person! shock horror! The same goes for others as well. I have made friends with people at work who were gothics. It turned out they just liked the fashion. LOL.
But I guess what I am trying to say is be prepared to get to know anyone you might encounter. You WILL surprise yourself.
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jgnat
misspeaches, that is an absolutely brilliant contribution, definitely from the ex-JW perspective! Thanks!
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These3Words
It has taken me 15 years to see people. I mean realy see them without the filter of the "Lie" AKA the "Truth" influance. Anyone can see people for who they trully are. All you need is an open mind and an open Heart. What would Jesus do? Leave the judging to the ultimate judge, our Heavenly Father.
Agape
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Sad emo
A late addition from me! I don't know whether there's a similar organisation in other countries but here in the UK there's a charity called Pets as Therapy where if your pet dog or (more rarely) cat is a good temperament, you register and they will find you care homes/hospitals/schools etc to visit with your pet. You can even help with treatment of phobias. Registration ensures everything is 'official' regarding things such as insurance etc.
This is great if you find starting conversations with strangers difficult as the pet usually provides a focal point. I fall into the very shy category but started visiting a nursing home with one of my cats under this scheme (unfortunately puss has now retired through ill-health). I definitely recommend it!