GAGS I HAVE PROUDLY PULLED ON JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES :)

by Nate Merit 171 Replies latest social humour

  • colorado5591
    colorado5591
    It was 26 years ago, I was 26 years old.

    Hmmmm.....I am about to be 26 myself......and this prank business is just up my alley being an insomniac and all, I am awake and energized at some odd hours and I have quite a few friends on the police force here who would "turn a blind eye" to my nefarious nighttime activities.

    Add the fact that I have a load of leftover Xmas decorations from various beer and liquor companies (Bud, Miller, Coors, Jaegermiester, Jack Daniels.....)

    OH! To be young and deliciously evil!

    Nate, you seem to have mastered the art of "sticking it to THE MAN" in your younger days. I would love to be your understudy.

    Amy (of the I have great ideas but no "gravitas" class)

  • Nate Merit
    Nate Merit

    Dear LDH

    Oh. My. God. That's SPECTACULAR! I LOVE IT!!! The sheer idiocy of the WTBTS included! I hereby step aside for you and present you with your Oscar. <---(Oscar) I sure wish I'd known some gals with a sense of humor like yours. Mark, you, and I would have had a helluva time.

    I have unlimited long distance, I pay a flat rate. I'm going to call WTBTS and be very weird. My phone has caller ID blocked, so I hope they take my call. I never would have thought of actually phoning them.

    Thank you for a good laugh and a good idea!
    Nate

  • Nate Merit
    Nate Merit

    Hi Jeanniebeanz

    It's good to see that someone else knows the drill.

    Nate

  • DanTheMan
    DanTheMan
    The Elder, however, had called the church and now knew I wasn't really the pastor, so he read me the riot act and I blew a police whistle in his ear!

    I can't stop laughing about this one.

    Elder: "Listen here buddy, I did some checking and you're not Pastor Bob from First Uni-"

    Nate: *deep inhale* BLEEEEET!!!! BLEEEE-EEEEEETTTT!!!!

  • Nate Merit
    Nate Merit

    Hey MJ! Chime away!

    Those with a sense of humor (which of course includes you and I) are waaaay outnumbering those who don't. I'm glad you got some laughs.

    Yours in hillbilly heaven,
    Nate

  • Nate Merit
    Nate Merit

    Hi John!

    It WAS great fun! I'm glad I posted these pranks. I've enjpyed reliving them today.

    Oh, I generally don't let folks get me down. Just now and then. Usually I simply reply in kind, or point out any hypocrisy. People in glass houses and all that.

    Alas, these pranks would probably get one arrested nowdays in Dubya's Post 911 New and Improved Amerika. I just read an article on AOL about police in Jacksonville FLA marching en masse to combat "terror." Hopefully, most Americans will see this for the police state crap that it is, and that it's meant to PRODUCE terror, not fight it.

    Nate

  • johnny cip
    johnny cip

    calling bethel is lots of fun. just know your topic. and drill away. i three minutes you will feel like you have them straped into the denist chair. 1718-560-5000 have fun.

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    If you had as much fun doing that stuff as I had reading about it then you must have had a blast!

    W

  • Nate Merit
    Nate Merit

    Hi Amy/colorado5591 !

    OOOO you have friends who are cops? How cool. Hell yeah, if they would turn a blind eye to these pranks, go for it.

    "Add the fact that I have a load of leftover Xmas decorations from various beer and liquor companies (Bud, Miller, Coors, Jaegermiester, Jack Daniels.....)"

    Oh man. You could make your local Hall look mighty FINE with a bunch of beer bottles and trash. Especially if you use the old decorations on the front of the hall itself facing the street, and fill the beer bottles with urine. Leave them around the Hall grounds for the 'ministerial servants' to deal with. Or just toss them on top of the hall if it has a flat roof. Do it every year as a sort of anniversary celebration of your disfellowshipping. Bring lots of fiends in on it too, and before long the top of the Hall will look like Party Central. Heck, why wait for an anniversary? Make the top of the Kingdom Hall the place you regularly dispose of all your beer bottles, etc. Just make sure nothing up there gives away your identity or location.

    All right, since you liked these pranks so much I'll tell you about one I didnt post because it actually is too extreme, and I knew it would get bad press, so I left it out. Things were much simpler to get away with 26 years ago. *Sigh* Anyway, I went to the Ann Arbor post office, presented myself as Russell Rutherford, complete with fake drivers license (I will mention in another post why I was making fake ID at the time. I was never well-behaved, not even during this period when I was a born-again Christian studying for the ministry), and I filled out a change of address form for the Kingdom Hall. I had their mail rerouted to an address in Alaska I picked at random from an Alaska phonebook. The Ann Arbor library had phone books from dozens of cities in all 50 states.

    Mark Smith did the same with the Kingdom Halls power. He had it shut off. Yes, we were really pushing it, and we knew it. Today, we'd go to jail for sure.

    "OH! To be young and deliciously evil!"

    LMAO! Agreed! Make lots of grand memories for yourself Amy. If you do, then your youuth will not have been wasted on the young.

    "Nate, you seem to have mastered the art of "sticking it to THE MAN" in your younger days. I would love to be your understudy."

    Thank you Amy. Here are some things I have learned along the way:

    Stop buying stamps for your snail-mail! Simply put the recipients name and address in the upper lefthand corner, and your own name and address in the "to" space. Drop your letters off at a public mailbox. The system will automatically "return" your snail-mail to the recipient. I haven't bought a postage stamp in three decades.

    Strapped for cash? Only do this one a few times, otherwise your local Home Depot will catch on quickly. Load up a cart at Home Depot with all the stuff you've been wanting for your home or apartment. Go through checkout, buy it with cash, take it home. Return to the store, load the same items on another cart, then proceed to the refund desk. Present them with your receipt and the merchandise. Receive refund, go home. This one is best performed on a very busy day. The confusion makes it easier to pull off.

    I think I'd better stop while I'm ahead. Feel free to email me anytime Amy at [email protected]

    "Amy (of the I have great ideas but no "gravitas" class)"

    You look very classy to me Amy. It's whats in your head that counts. You're obviously not one of the sheep. That's very classy.

    Your new online bud,
    Nate

  • Nate Merit
    Nate Merit

    Whoa JOHN! THANK YOU for the phone number!!! Damn!

    Nate

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