Any Quick Advice For Those With Doubts in the Watchtower?

AlmostAtheist

Hey All,

Let's say you meet someone and they say that they are a JW, but they are having doubts about it. They are doing some research and things just aren't adding up. You can see they are on their way out. What advice could you give them to make their immediate future as unstressful as possible?

A few things came to mind:

*) Tell no other JW's -- even your spouse or best friend -- what's on your mind

*) Remember that the Bible commands you to "make sure of all things"

*) Don't dramatically change your routine immediately

I'd like to add some fluff to those, a few sentences of explanation. What tidbits would you like to offer someone in this position?

Dave

daniel-p

Well, since I am going through this process as we speak - can you elaborate on the (a) part of your advice? (Not telling anyone even my spouse)
I have already told her I have been having doubts and we have had a couple of big arguments because she feels I am trying to steal her faith. Basically, I have learned to not voice my doubts or opinions about anything because to her it loots like "nitpicking" and that I am being negative.

Am I doomed to suffer this plight alone?!?!?
H

mustang

Advise them to: Continue the research.

Be careful about pointing to the I-net; it is too demonized by the "controlling hierarchy". Encourage them to carry on, just as they are. They will come to the bigger step of I-net-ing when they are ready for it.

BTW, from my observation, the I-net is not all it's cracked up to be on research. It is very possible to use the I-net to spread "disinformation".

And what some people call "research" is simply writing about others opinions or what others have written. One wrong step here and it snowballs and you have check for that. The old research game is close to the "never-ending story"; you have to keep at it.

That being said, if a "false step" gets them to open their eyes, that's life.

Mustang

AlmostAtheist

Hey Daniel,

The "don't tell anyone" bit is just my opinion and isn't written in stone anywhere, but you run the risk of having someone else set the schedule for your exit if you speak up. JW's are conditioned to report any sin to the elders, incuding (perhaps even especially) apostasy. So as soon as you confess to someone that you are having doubts, you open yourself up to all sorts of stuff that you may not be ready for. Any time you ask a JW to keep a secret, you're basically asking them to choose between loyalty to you and loyalty to Jehovah. Guess who loses? :-(

Fortunately, JW's are also quick to forget things they don't want to know. (Like 1975, for instance) So if you want to return to the days of before you said anything, just don't say anything else and keep things status quo. As long as she hasn't already reported you, you're probably good to go. (Your mileage may vary)

Of course, you're going to want to level with her and probably everybody else eventually, but you should decide when that happens -- not some cultic drive for "purity".

As one in your position, what advice can you offer to others? Any mistakes you've made that you now wish someone had warned you about? (like this one, for instance!)

Dave

Dune

I'm kind of in that transition phase right now. I dont know if i want to just leave, or if i should become a career witness, lol. (You know like catholic priest who dont really believe in god, but do their jobs anyway)

I tried talking to my brother about it, but i think i came off a little too strong and he was offended. However, when i lightly touch the subject, I found out that he had doubts too. However, it hasnt stopped us from going to meetings, field service and all that other stuff. I think that its snowballing though, because i tried it with my mother and she just let out all of her greivances, most of which were more on the local rather than societal, but still progress nonetheless.

I totally agree with the person who said to beware of the internet. Most of my reservation for this site was because i find it hard to believe (even now) most of those stories about child abuse, elder brutality and the UN and malawi/mexico scandal. It just doesnt phase me and i question the validity of alot of the stories.However, i think examining doctrinal changes helps alot. Watchtower quotes is a VERY good site in research too.

daniel-p

Romans 14:1-3 (NWT)
Welcome the [man] having weaknesses in [his] faith, but not to make decisions on inward questionings. 2 One [man] has faith to eat everything, but the [man] who is weak eats vegetables. 3 Let the one eating not look down on the one not eating, and let the one not eating not judge the one eating, for God has welcomed that one.

So what this is saying, IMO, is that it is OK to have doubts. Just don't make decision based on sole doubt - verify your belief, which may verify why you are wrong OR right.
However, I'm not too sure about the truth of this scripture - and why a "weak man" can only eat vegetables. The fact is, EVERYONE has doubts; the only difference is just in how far we are willing to go in rationalizing our belief. Abraham was willing to go so far as to kill his son - I don't think any person whom we consider to be sane would have enough "faith" to do that - and neither am I sure that a good God would want me to "prove" my faith in such a manner.

Lo-ru-hamah

Most of my reservation for this site was because i find it hard to believe (even now) most of those stories about child abuse, elder brutality and the UN and malawi/mexico scandal. It just doesnt phase me and i question the validity of alot of the stories.

Let me tell you something, those stories are true. One of the congregations that I came from the P.O. was a homosexual child molester for 15 years. Both of his sons were pedophiles but also ministerial servants and regular pioneers. My father was an elder in that congregation and told us later that there were 25 different cases of homosexuality and pedophilia. In fact two of the members in that hall either served time in prison or are currently doing so. I can give you their names and you can look it up on the sex offenders web site. I could go on and on telling these instances.

Also, why don't you go to the NGO section of the UN website and look for yourself the letter they have posted about the Watchtower.

People are not making these things up. Of course if it doesn't bother you, you should continue on your current course. That is what most witnesses do.

daniel-p

As far as the "Don't tell anyone" advice goes - defenitely adhere to it!

Try to feel out the faith and doubts of your loved ones, but don't go so far that they raise a red flag.
The ugly fact is, you are alone - even if your'e not. By that I mean that there may very well be others in your family who have reasonable doubts about the WTS's legitamacy, and certainly in your congregation, but it is best if you keep it to yourself for the time being. Do not let anyone set your exit schedule and strategy for you!

AlmostAtheist

Another bit of advice:

*) Call the Watchtower to verify things you're concerned about (718-560-5000)

Of course, don't tell them your name. And it would probably be best to call from work or hit *67 or something before calling to not pass along your caller id stuff. (Not paranoid, just safe) If you don't believe the Watchtower was ever a member of the UN/DPI, give them a call and ask. They won't deny it. They'll spin it to death, but they won't deny it.

Dave

katiekitten

Read Crisis of Conscience

Any Quick Advice For Those With Doubts in the Watchtower?

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