by Crumpet 158 Replies latest jw friends
What kind of evil ogre am I that I wouldnt want to know such a thing
You arent the evil one Crumpet...if this is true and she is married then they are the ones with the seriously fucked up sense of family...apologies for the language but its true.
DB74
PS have another hug
That's awful!
My Sister was never a Dub and she's refused to yield to my parents pressure to join. She's getting married this spring. My Parents will not be attending. I hope the naive posters who are quick to question "Why is there sooo much hatred here" , read these posts too. This religion is so completely f*cked up that if you can't see that, then you're an idiot.
Hey Crumpet. You can let some of us write you dad a letter.... I bet he'd read them, especially when he sees they are in international envelopes .
FreeWily - makes you want to shake them like a newborn doesn't it? LOL
Pubsinger thats a good idea - about the card. I'll send the card to my parents address - however given I don't even know her new husbands surname it may well not even get passed on to her. I am in no doubt that my sister is aware that I did not know she was married, it could well be they decided together that I should be prompted to repentance by not knowing - hard to second guess the fundamentally fundamentalist fucked up really!
Evan - if I did show up at the doorstep which given that i can't drive and can't walk would be impossible - they would just close the door on me. It would serve no purpose - just create a scene and I have no desire to do that. I just want to know when she was married, who he is, how they met, how long they courted, are they going to have children, where do they live, are they happy, why didnt they just send me a text to say. Its just an exercise in humiliation i suppose. I won't let it get to me but I still want to hear what my dad has to say. I will let you all know as soon as he texts back. He'll be working until mid afternoon and then he'll get my text. I can predict what their main anxiety will be - it will be who told crumpet? Is someone in the org communicating with a low down dirty dfed daughter - lets do a witchunt and get them out. I bet you when he texts back he will ask how I know before he answers my question. Lets wait and see.
Its a shame when your constantly viewed as a 'sister' who is erring and its loving to shun you back into activity - when do they get it that you no longer want that religeon. Is it forever that your condemned as a fallen witness to be shunned? I do think different family's go to different extreme's regarding d'fed. In my family, very little changed - we didnt communicate much before I was booted out, so it feels very similar to me. I do think to not be told that your sister is married is pretty low though. Although it will never feel comfortable to hear things like these, eventually it will become like water off a ducks back.
That's what I meant about not playing their game (might be too late depending on what u put in the text)
If you said " Hey that's really FANTASTIC news, I am so pleased for her/them, It really made my day hearing that. Could you pass on my best wishes and regards?" they won't know what to think or how to react.
If they know that your really mad and hurt, he'll be on the phone to everyone letting them know that their plan worked
Even if your card doesn't get forwarded it'll get opened. Put a cheque in it as a present - just to see if they cash it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (See I'm human after all!)
Yes, because dishonest communication lies at the heart of every healthy relationship / friendship. NOT.
Not trying to be obstinate, but I'm not one to be politically correct and hand out cyber hugs for behavior I see as unhealthy. That's all.
Put a cheque in it as a present - just to see if they cash it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (See I'm human after all!)
Now you're talking!!!! LOL
Pubsinger - marvellous idea - I will react as if I am not hurt at all when I do get it from the horses mouth and say something like - I understand how it could have slipped your mind - I mean its only a wedding after all. Oops - I'm going all sarky! Well its important that I have a giggle about it - and you are right they will not know how to handle me being sweet about it. After all I'm an evil worldling now - it would be impossible for me to have the higher ground morally and to demonstrate lovingness and forgiveness. Would it be over the top to reply its okay I forgive for you for not telling me, you must have felt very ashamed keeping that to yourselves all this time...? I think I can incorporate an element of your advice and enigma's all in one!
cyberdene - great to see another person from surrey at long last! I hope you are right about the water of a ducks back but you know this is my 3rd disfellowshipping since i was 16 and I've been dfed on this ocassion for 7 years and the shunning still hurts. Its horrible not knowing even basic stuff about people you love.
freewilly - i'd love my parents to receive lots of letters complaining about their treatment of me, but they're so blinkered they wouldn't be able to see any other point of view plus they would cut offf even the titbits of contact I have with the odd text because they'd see me as apostate.
Well, Crumpet Pubsinger has made a good point... and your approach seems to be good as well...
It would be best just to approach with love and concern... and assertivetly... not aggressive.
All the best for you, I know you will make the right move
Evanescence
