Double Standard with gender??? (page 2)

under74

PS-Specr...you got off topic on another persons thread, so I started a new thread.

confession- there are some differences but don't push aside the hormones females are filled with. I think what you say is true about females you've known....thing is I think everyone is sexual, it's a matter of individuals facing up to it.

LOOK, I took a sexual psychology class and remember reading a study (for the class) where women 18-25 were asked whether they had ever (I don't want to offend anyone on the forum...so) pleased themselves, only 50 percent admitted to it. Now, either this is a bold faced lie committed by those that said they never did it because they were embarrassed about something natural OR it's sexual repression beyond comprehension. BOTH are problems.

serendipity

HI under74,

I can definitely relate to being told how I should feel or what my goals should be since I'm a female. It's funny because I didn't have the typical goals of being a wife or mother. I never felt that I HAD to get married. I started talking about a career when I was 7 years old and that was unheard of in the very traditional family I'm part of. I've been an oddball female for so many years. Motherhood has tempered some of that 'uniqueness' and I've moved more toward center, but I still have a slightly different outlook and interests compared to any woman I know.

There are dangers in stereotyping people, especially in relationships. I can recall a couple of examples from my own relationships. I had a boyfriend who thought he'd score big points with me if he bought me flowers. WRONG. At the time, I thought a bouquet of flowers was the biggest waste of money. I'd much rather go out to dinner. That viewpoint is definitely not stereotypically female.

I had another bf who complained that I never bought him gifts. WHAT?? I was supposed to buy him gifts? I assumed that men wouldn't care about that kind of stuff.

And for a different example: I worked with a couple of women who are VERY assertive, even more so than me. They really got on my nerves. I really wanted to consider Cindy a friend and it bothered me that I felt so uncharitable towards her during her assertive streaks.

One day, just sort of halfway thinking, it occurred to me that, "Cindy must be a man with breasts." Then I had a moment of clarity. I realized I had a double standard. A man could be assertive. It was even expected in a business setting. But a woman couldn't demonstrate that same level of assertiveness without annoying me. I felt really hypocritical because I've been ranting against double standards for years. After that, I was much less annoyed by both women.

I think these kind of dialogues are good to have. It helps all of us to understand that there are a variety of viewpoints and expectations for females as well as males. We need to learn to ask rather than assume. We need to learn some tolerance for those that are different. We also need to accept ourselves if we are different. Celebrate the differences! This can help us in all of our relationships.

mrsjones5

I have a good one: My husband loves to shop and window shop, I mean he absolutely loves it. Dont go the mall with my husband, you'll be there for hours. I on the other hand would rather go find what I want and then leave.

Confession

The thing that gets me about this is the way some people just LOVE to talk, joke and laugh about so-called sex differences. Sure, we can all do that from time to time, but I've known people for whom this seems to be their constant point of interest. One that comes to mind was the P.O.'s wife at my last congregation. Whenever anyone would bring up any subject, she would find a way to steer it in the direction of it being a "man thing" or a "woman thing."

Somebody would bring up the funny things children do. She'd scrunch up her face and say, "Yeah especially boys!"

If any male would express any sort of opinon, she would say, "Well that's because you're a man." And then she'd laugh out loud. I swear she thought she was Ellen Degeneres eveery time she'd say it. And she said it constantly.

Honestly, sometimes I'd check my watch and then walk up to her and start chatting. I'd see how long it would take for her to say something like, "Oh yeah, well that's how you brothers are! We sisters aren't like that! Bwaahaaaa hee hee hoooo haaaah!!!" I am not exaggerating; this woman never failed to do it.

Under74, I don't discount the role hormones play in both sexes. There's no question they do.

JH

I agree with you under74, Women are violent and are always thinking of sex.

Spectrum

Under74

And your filling the female role very well, and that's what your trying to argue against.
Since you only want to listen to your own voice I'll stay out of this thread.

under74

well, thank you all very much for the posts...would have posted sooner but christmas obligations.

Spectrum- my quarrel with you wasn't brought on by hysterical "women type" feelings...it was brought on by your comment that since you've lived with women you know how they all are. It's too easy to pigeon hole people in that way so you won't actually have to get to know them as individuals.

Golf

"...your craving will be for your husband and, he will 'dominate' you." Gen 3:16

In short, it still is especially in the work force and sports. Take professional golf, the money prizes differ awesomely. This is no different in the work force, unless your an attorney, specialists, etc.

Under the present stucture it will remain the same, by the way, there is double standards within sexes. Abuse of power is not prejudice.

Golf

under74

Golf- I understand what you're saying and think it's a good point. My complaint though has to do more with people (both men and women) treating females (daughters, sisters, wifes, cousins) differently than they do their sons and so on, and assuming or maybe more attributing an individuals actions with their gender. Pay and politics is another web.

Double Standard with gender???

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