Trevor - can I just say thank you for that. I really appreciate it. My next fear is that I will be really really bored listening and reflecting for the next 6 days and now I am tying myself in knots worrying about that! LOL! I know I can't have it all my way.
My Unhappiness is because of Witness Thinking I have not given up
by joelbear 31 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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joelbear
crumpet, be the ball.
dansk, you are soooo right.
minimus, i feel pissy oh so pissy, i feel pissy and wissy and gay.
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minimus
Joel, you DO tickle my funny bone. I hope you're feeling better!!!
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joelbear
i am feeling better, thank you.
i have a long way to go, but I am getting there
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BrendaCloutier
(((( JoelBear )))) I'm so pleased to know you on this board!
THE biggest hurdle for me has been NOT being perfekt, and self-forgiveness. Mostly self-forgiveness. In everything.
My ex-husband #3 used to tell me I had this NEED to be right all the time. My answer to him was "I usually am!" and, of course I usually was.
Today I'm not right most of the time.... and it's very OK. Much less to have to live up to!
Love and hugs.... Auntie hugs from me and a Joelbear hug in return?
Have a Merry Christmas and a Joyous and Blessed New Year! That's an order (side of fries is ok, too ;)
B
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stillAwitness
I have been pretty sucessful of purging myself of the witness thinking but for a long time I was allowing men to control me because of that whole "women should be in total submission to her man" teaching.
Beacause of it I was tied in a number of abusive relationships. I am also very wary about trusting people who are dare I say? Not a JW
I know-that is crazy since I don't trust those who are and yet making friends at school is cool but the thought of going into their house or inviting them in my car is scary for me.
You're always taught that with the wittnesses you are safe but those in the world beware! Its hard to shake out of that thinking sometimes when I meet new people.
Give yourself sometime. I find just laughing about certain things help.
Nowadays-when a guy askes me why I'm always so "damn stubborn" I say "oh that? That's just cause I'm in a cult. Ready to go to dinner?"
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tetrapod.sapien
wow joelbear, 1,2,3, you really said it there. i think this is a classic(s) issue for us ex-witnoids.
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Abaddon
joel, this post makes me so happy I can't tell you.
You're a lovely bloke I have worried about over the years. To see you describe some of the hangs-ups that stand in the way of your hapiness so clearly, concisely and intelligently - ones that most of us have to deal with to one extent or the other - gives me hope that with this insight you will be more able to handle these feelings.
Bless you muchly and have a fantastic Christmas.
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Gretchen956
Joelbear! I'm glad you are feeling better. Yes, we do have lots of hang ups that continue with us, things we don't even realize half the time. But Dansk is right, NOTICING is half the battle. If you notice it you can be aware of it. I have high hopes for you, my friend, you have worked out so many issues here on the board, talked about things openly and honestly that most people would leave as that invisible elephant in the living room that everyone tiptoes around, but by naming it, and talking about it you can grow and we all can grow. That takes a lot of balls, and I salute you for it.
Bless you, and your partner this holiday, and big hugs to you both!!
Sherry and Kim
who are feeling oh-so-gay today!!! -
zen nudist
the basic problem is that JWs have installed an iron clad measuring stick up your arse which makes it hard not to walk around in pain;
that measuring stick is an ideal fantasy which rejects reality in most if not all catagories.... extracting that stick from your arse is difficult as its not always easy to believe that it is wrong.... because you have been conditioned to see right and wrong long before they installed their own special teflon coated beauty.... it went in easy enough because most of it matched the values you had installed in you from your parents, culture and traditions and you hardly noticed the initial pain it caused as you likely agreed with most of it....
many JWs remove the JW ideals but leave the earlier sticks in place and never quite get away with walking with that free bounce in their step they could have... some just get most of it and leave a few splinters behind [pun intended]