The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. Henry David Thoreau (page 2)

greendawn

I liked that expression "artfully contrived fraud" it describes perfectly the nature of the FDS and their watchtower society. It's useful for those who think that the FDS is a well meaning though deceived group of people. They are far more sinister than that.

And it's the journey of life towards self completion to abandon a false identity and develop a new real one... whatever the cost.

fullofdoubtnow

Great post, I really enjoyed reading that

thankyou so much

prophecor

It was a moment much like you described for me, Steve. I did not wan't to believe the truth about the truth. I panicked. I felt my entire world come to an end, overnight. I refused to believe at first. This was my dream, this was my only everything. That there was an earthly organised society of ones who knew who God was and knew exactly what he wanted from those who would serve him.

I still reel from the knowledge that all I ever believed in for so long has continuously come into question. The pain of having to move on. The struggle of having to find God in other venues and formats. From the voices of others who I was told in the Watchtower, I could never trust. That truth would never be found anyplace but within the walls of the Kingdom Hall.

Narkissos

((((Steve)))),

Your beautiful post reminded me of one day in Autumn 1985. I had already submitted my resignation from Bethel and was already conscious I was heading out -- this of course I was about alone to know.

A few close friends from my first congregation, people I dearly loved, came to visit me in Bethel and I spent the whole day with them. As the hours went by a strange feeling developed -- as if they couldn't see me or hear me anymore. They were talking to someone else, someone already dead. I had changed and that change was not even incomprehensible, it was imperceptible to them.

I don't know how they reacted when I was df'd. Did they say, "now I remember he sounded strange" or something? What I remember is the sense of being unheard and unseen, like a ghost among the living (or the contrary).

Completely unrelated to that (or maybe not), your post raised the following thought: the surest way to quiet desperation is not missing one's life goal, but reaching it.

freedomlover

narkissos -

As the hours went by a strange feeling developed -- as if they couldn't see me or hear me anymore. They were talking to someone else, someone already dead. I had changed and that change was not even incomprehensible, it was imperceptible to them.

this is something I have been experiencing. how could these people who know me and love me not see how much I have changed?! very "out of body" experience....

loved your thoughts on this......

jst2laws

Greendawn,

I liked that expression "artfully contrived fraud" it describes perfectly the nature of the FDS and their watchtower society. It's useful for those who think that the FDS is a well meaning though deceived group of people. They are far more sinister than that.

Yes it is contrived and sinister but many, even some in high places, are also duped. They didn't get in their possitions for being great thinkers, but for shutting down independent thinking and displaying loyalty. We at one time thought that was the right thing to do too.

The culpable supporters of this 'artfully contrived fraud' are the folks who saw what we saw or knew what we know and stayed in instead of 'speaking out'. Strangely, there are a lot at Bethel who haven't figured it out, but keep the contrivance in motion.

fullofdoubtnow,

You have been here almost two months. How's your doubts? Hope some are becoming new confictions. Nice to hear from you.

Prophecor,

It was a moment much like you described for me, Steve. I did not wan't to believe the truth about the truth. I panicked. I felt my entire world come to an end, overnight. I refused to believe at first. This was my dream, this was my only everything. That there was an earthly organised society of ones who knew who God was and knew exactly what he wanted from those who would serve him.

I like your way of expressing this. And the idea of an ORG who knew who God was and exactly what He wanted from us was a key part of the FRAUD. It would have been so wonderful to be true. Didn't we WANT to believe it. Thanks for you comments.

Steve

jst2laws

Narkissos,

What I remember is the sense of being unheard and unseen, like a ghost among the living (or the contrary).

I would say the contrary, but I remember how numb and lost I was. I'm not sure if I was fully alive or dead. Like limbo. This process is surprisingly slow because, as Belbab said, we have faucets of it still controling pockets of our soul years later. Still deprogramming, but at least I feel ALIVE now. Hope you are doing well, and the family too.

Yes, there is life after all.

Steve

AuldSoul

[applause] Well done. You hit it on the head that the new you isn't better, it is just the REAL you. The one that was cowering in a dark corner inside you not daring to come out lest someone be offended. I don't think they ever did like me, they liked an idea of me.

Respectfully,
AuldSoul

onesong

Beautiful explaination of what happens. I've heard it said that that the only way to an authentic life is to be free of the good opinion of other people. I never thought I could do this until leaving. I was called all those names and descriptions but somehow had an indifference that I never had before. I had a true certainty of who I was and what I was doing. I honor and celebrate all those brave enough to be themselves!

jst2laws

Well Auldsoul,

I should have known that word, "better", would not escape your attention. Good to see you survived you coming out party last night.

Onesong,

I had a true certainty of who I was and what I was doing. I honor and celebrate all those brave enough to be themselves!

Salute to all who find the courage to be themselves. Thanks for the thought, Onesong.

Steve

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. Henry David Thoreau

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