i am new (page 2)

Balsam

Hi Lunarlara,

Friendships within the JW are based on your interest in becoming a JW eventually. Are those the kind of friendships that are so conditional that you want to protect them. Yes JW can be so wonderfully nice and it can really draw people in when they are newly associated. But it is all an effort to get you to join them, it is less about you and how much they like on a truely friendly bases. When you show no interest in their religion they drop visiting quick enough.

Remember too as other have said you don't owe them any explaination for stopping your study. Just tell them that the JW religion is not for you it is that simple. You don't have to focus on anything, just tell them everything about it doesn't suit you. Your children will thank you for not leading the into that restrictive harsh religion. So many kids that has to deal with that religion suffer in ways you just could not imagine. Good for you researching the religion, we all wish that everyone would before getting involved in it.

Balsam

JamesThomas

Welcome, Lara.

please advise me on the best course of action

Since you have just risen above drowning in beliefs, I suggest you now give less attention to your mind and it's interpretations of what is true, and offer more attention on just being open and alive in the present moment of reality.

Be kind, gentle and patient with yourself. See how certain thoughts fill you with pain, gilt and regret, and then make the compassionate decision to not think that way anymore; and when the painful thoughts return, don't judge yourself, just see that the thoughts have returned, as they will sometimes, and then make the conscious shift of attention from these thoughts, back to silently living. Feel what it is to be alive without the mind painting a dramatic story over it. Feel what it is to breath. Be present with presence, and shower your children and friends with the beauty of your gentle and nonjudgmental attention.

In other words, make life a kind of meditation. Really open to the difference between thinking life, and living life; and see what magic unfolds.

So glad you are here.

j

bem

As some one once told another doubting questioning person here on the forum, Run , And run fast get out of the study asap. especially for your children, I wish I had followed my instincts, my intuition told me many times to get out of the studies before it was too late and I did not. But, the good news I have my kids out also and we're healing all the time now, so there is life after wts.

Also, the people that are so kind and friendly now can turn on you like vicious wolves after your baptized.

jgnat

Hi, lunalara. I am a single parent, too. I raised my two children on my own for twenty years. They have grown in to two fine adults; responsible and caring.

Do you want to let down your study leader easy or hard? She may protest, and ask where you got your information. She may even suggest that Satan has influenced you away from the "truth". Be prepared for these responses, and think about how you will answer. To break it off hard, I suggest you print off material say, on the United Nations involvement and other internet stuff. She'll probably drop you like a hot potato. If you want to let her down soft, just keep declining visits. If she asks a direct question, answer with a non-committal mm-hmm. She'll eventually get the idea.

In the meantime, you need to rebuild your social network. It is tough being alone and raising children alone. I had my community church as my social network and support, and boy, were they ever helpful. My church has a midweek children's program and a mom's craft day. Besides, my church doesn't put all those silly restrictions that the JW's do about what I can or can't do and who I can associate with. Is there a moms and tots group in your community?

Cellist

Hi, welcome to the board.

You don't have to tell the JWs anything if you don't want to. Do what ever is most comfortable for you. Tell them you have too many things to deal with right now, or something like that. Just keep putting them off until your ready to deal with them. It's not a critical issue that needs to be dealt with right away.

Cellist

blindersoff

Welcome, Lunarlara,

When they come around asking just state that you have determined that this organization is not for you. Nothing more. It is none of thier business anyway.

Excellent advice . 40+ wasted years for me. They are trained to try to draw out and overcome your objections. So they may ask for just one thing. If you don't want the upset feeling of confrontation, don't even open that door by offering any reason. If you appear the least bit unsteady about this, they will be hard to get rid of. BE FIRM!

Long live the internet. You are another example of why the Watchtower headquarters tells the congregation members to avoid research.

B

lunarlara

thank you for your support.

no i am not baptized .thank goodness! I will consider all you have said and continue reading other posts .thank goodness for the internet.Im glad to have found out all this information now rather than later .I dread to think what would have happened had i got in any deeper.

thanks for the welcome.I'll make new friends no doubt.please continue with your advice its most appreciated.

God bless you all!

YoursChelbie

Welcome to the Forum! We're glad for the internet too.

Keep Learning. Knowledge is power.

Have you seen this information on the new "blood card"? The Watch Tower wants to have full access to peoples medical records by signing this card. The want to use your personal info so they (elders) can make medical decisions for you. How crazy is that????

See: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/104217/1.ashx

All members of this religion are ordered to shun you if you or your children accept blood transfussions. That practice is NOT Bible based at all:

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/104153/1.ashx

YC

Dansk

Welcome, Lunarlara!

I can't really add to anything that hasn't already been said, other than if you tell your JW friends you've been getting contrary information from the internet they'll say you've been ensnared by Satan! Don't believe it!! Stick around and you'll soon find who speaks the truth and learn about all the pain and suffering caused by the Watchtower cult. Be thankful that you have saved both yourself and your child from serious pain and hurt. You are obviously someone with intelligence and courage to do that! We all congratulate you on being so quick to see through the religious sham - and now you can continue to have a loving relationship with your relatives. That is something you would definitely have lost if you had joined Watchtower.

Look in the archives and you'll find some harrowing stories of families broken up, my own included http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/47295/1.ashx (please click on link), through their joining Watchtower. I was in for 19 years and have been out three. In that time I lost my two daughters to the cult but have my wife and two sons out. Others have done better and still others have fared worse. You made the right decision coming here. Please, for your own and your child's welfare, stay well away from Watchtower!

Ian

ithinkisee

I love reading accounts like this. Thank you. And welcome to the forum.

-ithinkisee

i am new

Share this