How to (or not) handle the occasional JW who wanders in here

Check_Your_Premises

I originally thought of posting this thread last week when a thread was started last week:

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/104099/1.ashx

This girl didn't seem to realize the extent of the "apostasy" on this thread. Some realized this and were sufficiently humble and respectful. Eventually others got in there and started screaming "cult" and "run away" and the sort of stuff that makes the timid, yet curious JW see the Devil and run.

Jdarley hasn't been back since. I don't expect her to. I can only hope a few of our thoughts got past her cult defenses before she was chased off. I sent her a pm and I saw that she read it. That cheered me up a bit.

I want to say something here. I know many here are upset with how they were treated by the WT. I know that many of you have suffered losses just to great for anyone to be expected to bear.

BUT

You all need to realize that these folks ARE REAL PEOPLE. They are not symbols of all we despise. This might be the only chance they have for DECADES to hear a free thought. We need to get over ourselves, and not see these people as a chance for us to get some cheap shots in at the WT. There are plenty of other ways to do that without scaring off some poor unsuspecting jw-robot.

So I recommend the following guidelines for such future posts, and for this one http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/104460/1.ashx today in particular:

1. Don't try to let on that this is an apostate site. IF your name is JWS-SUCK it might be a good idea that you don't post.

2. DOn't call it a cult, tell them to run for their lives, or tell them the JW are satanic. It just doesn't square with what they are seeing in their lives. You will come across as a bitter loon and you will lack credibility.

3. Do try to get them to open up and tell us about themselves. Find out if their family is opposed.

4. Let them know that this site accepts all views, and that it is good to spend time here because since we have the truth it is an opportunity to help folks who have doubts. It is also a good opportunity to find out what questions and arguments people are likely to have. And most importantly we shouldn't fear people questioning the JW. Since it is the truth, it can withstand any scrutiny.

5. Be humble and respectful. The facts about the JW condemn them. We don't need to offer any commentary. We can just talk about the facts. Make them feel welcome to discuss their thoughts. You will never be able to open a JW's mind without trust. When you are rude and accusatory you lose trust.

CYP

Gozz

CYP: thoughtful post.

I recall how I'd've acted were I the visiting JW; how quickly many of us forget. Posts like these are needed to set people straight and hammer ideas like these into minds. We all know what scathing, intense opposition leads to for the JW: confrimation that they're doing exactly ehat's right, and that what the WTS has predicted would happen has come true. We must not let that happen. For me, I tecd to draw a clear distinction between the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society on the one hand, and members of the Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses on the other hand; many/most of those of the second deserve to be treated with kid gloves; but the wolves of the first may occassionaly deserve heavy pounding.

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Check_Your_Premises

but the wolves of the first may occassionaly deserve heavy pounding.

I agree.

I think the best pounding they can be given is to open as many eyes as we can.

CYP

Check_Your_Premises

Blatant self-pinging.

(Sorry, but this is an important topic!)

TD

Well said, CYP

The first XJW I ever ran across on the 'net was Alan Feuerbacher. I was not a JW, (Couldn't accept the blood thang) but I still had a, "JW's are 90% right" attitude.

He was kind and respectful; humoring me where I was stupid and helping me when I was on the right track and for that I'm in his debt. I think that approach is much more effective.

I've also noticed however that occasionally there's another type of JW, altogether different from Jdarley that comes to discussion boards like these. This strain is full of self-righteous venom and takes a perverse pleasure in tormenting people who are in pain. --They deserve whatever they get. (IMHO)

Check_Your_Premises

The first XJW I ever ran across on the 'net was Alan Feuerbacher. I was not a JW, (Couldn't accept the blood thang) but I still had a, "JW's are 90% right" attitude.

Yep that was me also.

I was getting a little anxious about my wife getting baptized though. I wanted to hear what "the other side had to say". I ran into Don Cameron on some yahoo forum, and bought his book (Captives of a Concept). That guy sent me emails back and forth for months. He was real cool also. He didn't rant and rave about how the JW were a cult. We just talked about the stuff that didn't make sense to me.

When I tried to talk to my wife about some of it, that was when I realized to my horror the extent she had been brainwashed.

He spent the next couple months after that helping me to keep my cool until I wandered into this place. I'll always be indebted to that guy.

I guess that is what I am talking about. We who know better owe it to those who don't.

CYP

M.J.

Great post. I've occasionally tried to relay the same points here but not nearly as eloquently.

I remember Seattleniceguy posted something along the same lines before.

At times its rather easy for people to collectively slip into the sort of mentality displayed by a bullying group of gang members when someone wanders onto the wrong street.

We need to rise above that kind of tribal mentality...which happens to be so well exploited by the WTS I might add.

wanderlustguy

I agree whole heartedly. Some do seem to get a bit aggressive in their approach, and if I had seen that when I came here, I would have thought to myself "well, I guess they were right apostates are pretty screwed up and just want to get people in the boat with them."

Instead I got love bombed...and it was great. I dropped my defenses and took in the information...

Kill with kindness...heh, for lack of a better word.

Check_Your_Premises

sonofabitch.

I just noticed Im a Jedi Master.

Well at least I am not 40 yet.

I will always be here, I will never leave the WT alone, but I guess every time I pass one of these mile markers with my wife still trapped in the tower I can't help but wonder how friggin long it's gonna take. Will I make supreme one before she leaves. Will I have 20K posts? It has been a long year!

It's my thread, I can hijack it!

ok, back to the thread.

Thanks MJ. You are right, that sort of behavior is skillfully exploited by the WT propagandists.

CYP

Why Georgia

I agree CYP we should be kind to the JW's that show up here from time to time.

But I have to say...I honestly cannot stand the weekly posts from people who have fallen in love with a JW.

I just want to say - Get over him/her. You are not married. Walk away - if you can...... run.

I feel like their little drama is nothing compared to the 8 years that I have been dealing with this.

Too bad their feelings are hurt. If a person doesn't want to be with them because they aren't a JW this tells you everything you need to know about them....If you're still chasing them after they told you they don't want to be with you unless you change X Y Z and become a JW and you are still crying about this...!!! Then it tells you something about YOURSELF! Get Therapy!

I am invested in this. I am married. I have children. For me there are no other options. I have to make this work. I have to fight.

Boy, sorry about this...I guess I am having some cathartic venting. Sorry to hijack your post.

Chrystal

How to (or not) handle the occasional JW who wanders in here

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