by sleepy 45 Replies latest jw friends
Sleepy,
I don't know the extent of your responsiblities and they are really none of my business. It does seem to me that you might be able to fit in one college course a term. Anything that helps you break the enertia is good. Then, when you can invest more time in your education, you won't be starting from ground zero.
I got most of my education while working full time.
As Malcolm Forbes said, "It's only too late when you are dead."
"It is never too late to be what you might have been."
--George Eliot
Sleepy,
I understand your anger. I did go to college, still have not finished, but I decided when I was a JW that if Jehovah expected me to take care of my son that I needed good training. I probably would not have gone if I did not have my son...who knows?
It is still not too late...take a class here and there and then you will get to where you want to be. My older brother totally rebelled against my mom when he was a teen, and was never baptised. He was never really encouraged to go to college. He eventually got his GED and after partying hard for a few years, he decided at 26 to go to college full time. He has 4 more classes to go and he will have his BA. He is now applying to grad school. I would like to mention that he also has an 11 year old daughter to support and works as well.
Bottomline...once you pick up the pieces, deal with the post traumatic shock of leaving, you need to move on.
I coulda been a contenda!
Let us know how it goes.
I did think of becoming a toothbrush rebristler for the Goodwill stores.
I'm rather shocked at the unkind response to sleepy's post about a life of manual labor stemming from the fact that the borg drilled into young Witness heads that college was not only a waste of time due to the shortness of time, but would put dangerous ideas into ones head. Where did we get so many frigging psychologists?
I knew a Witness man in Missouri who at age 65 was on a ladder painting houses for a living, fell from the ladder and was afterwards disabled until he died. Why was he painting houses at age 65? Because he didn't plan for his retirement. And why didn't he plan for his retirement? Because the EVIL organization told him he wouldn't have to worry about growing old in this system of things. College wasn't going to help him and many others in his situation.
Sure, many of us went through college as adults after leaving the organization. We gave up time with our families and friends evenings and weekends to catch up to where we should have been in our early and mid twenties. Why? Because the EVIL organization told us that planning a career was nothing to worry about with the end so near. Am I angry about this? You bet your sweet ass I'm angry about it. Does being angry change anything? No it doesn't. But if I can help just one young person who is or is thinking about becoming a JW to reconsider wasting their life on it and staying in school, then perhaps some good will come from it. I have about 10 nieces and nephews who have no future except manual labor due to their lack of higher education. It's sad and it really pisses me off.
I could have been a porn star, but to my dismay when I discussed it with the elders they discouraged me from my dream.
Drac,
I agree with you. You can react to anger in many ways. You can sit and fume and make yourself sick. You can drink or take drugs to dull the pain. You can motivate yourself to live a more challenging life. You can preach the value of education HARD to any young people around you that might be thinking of doing otherwise
Joel
Hi Sleepy
I've just come home from a days window cleaning as well and I agree that it is a soul destroying job. My IQ is between 125 and 130 on the Mensa test and I could have easily gone to university, but because of the org. I now have the same highly stimulating job as yourself...
This to me is my biggest personal disappointment at serving the org. for the best part of 25 years. I feel that they have robbed me of vocation that would have suited my talents and I would have enjoyed.
When I was a teenager the one career that I was interested in was climate research, I looked into this but the elders advised against it because of the university problem and also because the meteorology office in the UK is part of the National Defence (made so during the Second World War). It is my one wish in life now that at 37 years of age finally I can make this dream come true. Climate research was a career I would have done voluntarily such was my interest but the new system was always just around the corner. I get so angry at this, that they robbed me of my future and limited my choices to low paid manual labour that nobody else wants to do. And robbed me on the basis of false promises. It is equivalent to promising somebody the riches of the earth next year if they follow you and give everything else up and when next year comes they say that it has been delayed but is sure to come the following year.
I am now putting in plans to go back to college so hopefully I can then realise my dream of a career I would actually enjoy and my wife is also likewise about to start her studies at college. I think this is more realistic than looking at pictures in the WT of nice new houses and not just ordinary houses, but palatial dwellings that we were supposed to enjoy in the new system. I've wasted enough of my life following that dream and being deceived.
The new system is just around the corner.... the problem is - the corner has turned into a roundabout...
DY,
I don't think our responses were unkind at all. If anything, we were offering ideas to help Sleeper think in a proactive fashion regarding his future. I mentioned two people I know who started college late in life and found it to be a wonderful experience. I mentioned that I worked my way through college and made many personal sacrifices to do so. On hind sight, I am glad I did. I was simply offering some encouragement to someone who seemed to need it. I certainly wasn't trying to be unkind. I agree with Joelbear, it is how you use your anger that is important.
Sleepy,
I'm sorry that you were in a cult and that they were a destructive force in your life.
Now that you are out of this cult, you need to develop your career if that is what you really want do.
I remember reading a Dear Abbey column about a person who was complaining to her about the bad choices in life he had made and that he thought that he was too old to go back to school. She basically told him that he is going to age at the same rate whether he is digging a ditch or going to school. You can't escape the march of time.
The point is, you might as well start doing those things in life that you want to do because you are going to get older whether you are in a career that you love or a career that you hate.
I wish you well.
Peace,
Ray Skyhorse
