I agree there, let them do what they are going to do when they are ready to do it. But, nothing wrong with finding out that they have CHOICES in life ASAP. Can't really make any plans till you realize you've got a choice. I wouldn't wish on anyone to have the difficulty with it that I had in a drastic and sudden exit, yet it was the only way it could have happened for me. It is better to have as much outside support as possible with the exit, and in the absence of some exceptionally wise friends professional help is highly recommended of course.
Calling All Apologists/Sympathizers
by Sentient 11 Replies latest jw friends
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jgnat
As damaging as their choices might be, you cannot force change in others who are not prepared to receive it. It's the dilemma of free will. Interfere with free will and the best you end up with is a weak convert. The worst, a robot. You can't force change even if it would save their life.
My hubby and I are going through a painful process where we are trying to wake my son up to the damage that street drugs are doing to his life. He is mildly interested in joining a rehabilitation group, but he simply does not believe the drugs do him permanent harm. My hubby, in his frustration, has asked, "Why don't we just throw him in an institution and throw away the key?" I reply, "You can't do that. He'll go through the program but he won't be changed on the inside. He has to want it."
That doesn't mean you stop trying, though.
I keep drilling in to my son the awful consequences, that I see with my own eyes. I'm not reading off some article or expert's opinion, I speak from the heart. I ask him if he is ready to admit he has a problem. If he says "sortof", he isn't.
I think conversations with JW's must be taken the same way. Start by understanding the person, their interests, concerns. Speak from the heart, your own personal experience. If they reject your experience, let them go in peace. Have patience. If they've been here once, very likely they will be back.
I do think there is a small segment of "institionalized" JW's who would not be able to function without the structure of the WTBTS. We have similar patients in our prisons and mental institutions. For some of these people, it's the only home they've known. It is possible to gently orient them back to regular society, but it takes a great deal of effort and time. I don't bother trying to burst their bubble.
Or, how about a non-JW, deeply in love with a Witness? We can tell them to "run", but what are the odds they are going to listen? I always take people at their word, and if the person has expressed determination to remain, in spite of our warnings, I consider it my duty to lay out the road they are about to take. By respecting their choice, I have a much better chance of having my message heard. I've had people decide the effort is not worth it, after they have independently decided that they did not have the resources to hold out for the long haul.
Always respect and reinforce their independence. It is that ability to make their own way, good or bad, that will eventually lead them out of the society. The society only accepts sheep.