stillAwitness
"Oh, Spectrum! Quit it!"
Not quite sure what you mean but hug you right back.
On this Forum my Light is getting Dimmer
by Spectrum 28 Replies latest jw friends
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Spectrum
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ontarget
Elise,
I want to apoligize for being less than tackful in my earlier comments. I am very empathetic of others, I consider myself a nice person and the last thing that I want to do is make someone else feel bad. I do have some anger toward the WTS, I am getting over it but takes time and this forum is the first time that I have had the opportunity to express myself about the WTS. I was the congregation secretary. My wife and I both told the other elders that we were leaving, don't bother us. They harrassed us for 3 years when they would see things like when they read in the newspaper that my wife gave blood. Then (2 years ago) I wrote a letter to the elders and the WTS. Now when I see witnesses in the store they turn and run the other way, my brothers will not speak to me and my parents will not speak to me. A great loss? no, obviously they are not that good of people but it is hard to face the fact that your parents and brothers don't like you anymore. Maybe it would be easier if they did bad things to me as then I would hate them back and feel no loss but as it is I don't dislike them for it. I believe that witnesses are like watchdogs, they are very friendly and loving when you are inside the group but when they sense that you do not belong OMG watch out!
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Spectrum
Welcome ontarget,
I asked this question before but don't think it was answered by the members.
I left twenty years ago and seem to remember distinctly that the law of shunning did not apply to family members. The GB understood that it is not practicle to cold shoulder your closest relatives. Is this no longer true? Is everybody fair game now? -
ontarget
They are now to shun all peole who leave or are disfellowshipped. If you are a close relative you can have family business dealings only. Even family business should be kept to a minimum. The non-zealous use this as a loophole, the very zealous will not even let you know that family members have died. Funny thing is my parents where never zealous. Now it is as if the issue with me is their last test of faith to God before they die.
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Sunspot
***But since having joined this forum I've read so many tragic stories that it's changed my view of them way beyond the mildly negative view I had pre this forum.
Spectrum, the fact that most folks don't have a clue about what JWs are about (or don't have a clue about the "famous message" that carry) other than the pushy pests that bang on their doors to talk about their religion and don't celebrate anything. It's when onne comes and checks out a site like this and can read what the underlying current is that makes them tick, that the truth about them comes out.
***By staying and pretending to conform, or by staying but fading, what are these people showing their own children? Stand up for yourselves. Okay, get disfellowshiped, so what, be shunned - at least they won't come near you. Isn't that what it's about, surrounding yourselves with positive people who are supportive of you and love you unconditionally and staying clear of negative people? Stand up for your principles and be a role model for your children and others who feel trapped in ANY religion.
Hello and welcome Elise!
You sure said a lot in one post! Once the scales fell off my eyes, I wrote the PO and the WTS itself to tell them that I couldn't and wouldn't be any part of their Organization another moment! I suffered all the consequences of the damned that choose to leave the almighty Witchtower Babble and Trick Sassiety, but it would have been harder for ME to remain involved with anything that was SO FULL of deceit. Each one though, has to do what is right for HIM though and I can respect and understand that too.
I appreciate your thought that nobody can feel comfortable with themselves or with the children they are raising (to have self values and integrity) and still be trapped within the WTS system for whatever reasons they may have.
***yes it's best to surround yourselves with positive people who love you. but if negative people love you, (even though the way they show their love is bad), they still love you. i suppose everyone has to make their own decision as to when they've had enough.
also it can be easier the more time passes. many people are still feeling the grief of finding out that their faith, their convictions and their hope for the future has all been a lie. they are grieving over that loss, and the further loss of their family, friends et al could be too much to bear.
deeskis,
I agree about surrounding yourself with those positive people that love you FOR you. The others that you are busting your butt to "please" are the Toxic People that I refuse to have anything to do with any more. Yes...discovering that you have based your entire belief system upon the deliberate lies and patterned your behavior from believing those lies....can be quite devastating.
It's not just something you can shrug off and move on from. Most times all those who have the same beliefs will treat you like pond scum for seeing things a different way, which sets off a whole chain of emotions and events that affect you forever. It really is a sad state of affairs that you realize you have gotten yourself into with the best of intentions.
People SHOULD know about the very dark side of the Witchtower....and not only be subjected to the "we are so wonderful and SO much better than everyone else on earth" syndrome portrayed by the dispicable men behind the WTS and their clever writing department! As with a few posters here, they are happy with living with the scales and blinders on their eyes, despite ALL the evidence shown that they are being misled. It makes me nauseous at times when these ones praise the wicked and evil cult with ZERO credibility they are zealously supporting and worshiping.
Annie
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Sunspot
Hello and welcome Ontarget!
I am sorry to hear about the horrible treatment by your family, and the WTS gleefully enjoys training them in this way through the pages of their garbage instructions and demands of its followers.
They harrassed us for 3 years when they would see things like when they read in the newspaper that my wife gave blood. Then (2 years ago) I wrote a letter to the elders and the WTS.
Hmm...........I have to wonder where the JWs think that the blood supplies and fractions that they now accept----COME FROM? The Blood Fairy? If people didn't donate blood----there would BE no supplies for them to dip into! Guess they don't think about THAT though.....
Any JWs want to address this idea?
Annie
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stillAwitness
The blood fairy!
That's classic!!!
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Elise
IPS
I'm sorry, your situation just sucks.
It gets easier - time truly is a great healer.
It's my view that your parents are not being good and nice people, neither are any people who ignore and snub you. They are being nasty to you and it is rude and unloving. I believe you should feel angry - anger is a stage of the grief process. You have lost a family and a lifestyle. You've also lost what you thought was real and true.
I don't believe in pointing the finger at the religion that is Jehovah's Witnesses though. The religion after all only has as much power as it's members give it. We were both involved in this religion (I was born into it) and for much of my time there, I was accepting of it and endorsed it. When it suited me to be a Jehovah's Witness I was and the religion was there for me then. When it didn't suit me to be a Jehovah's Witness (because I didn't agree with many things that were taught) I left and so did you. Everything we do comes with a consequence. When I was in it came with positive and negative consequences and now that I'm out, that also comes with positive and negative consequences - although I happily and loudly admit that the positives of being out far outweigh the negatives!
I used to bag the religion then I came to feel that criticizing it as an outsider was just as bad as when I was a Jehovah's Witness and I was highly critical of all other religions.
I truly believe that every religion has it's good. For me it feels better to focus on that - the fact that some of the people I love (but am unfortunately estranged from) feel secure and comfortable being Jehovah's Witnesses. For them it is a positive aspect of their lives and really, that's all that matters.
If a muslim person questions or renounces Islam it is an offence punishable by death by stoning. The latest rumour I've heard regarding the Catholic church is that the Late Pope John Paul the 1st (who died in the late 1970's) was actually murdered by senior members of the Vatican because he was wanting to modernise and liberalise the Church. Puts being shunned and ignored, by rude people who are Jehovah's Witnesses, into perspective!
Take care, look after yourself, your wife and your own family - that's what really matters.
Elise
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Elise
Sorry, wrote my last repsonse to IPS when it was actually for ontarget. Have no idea where I got IPS from?? I'm hopeless and would be better off getting my 3 year old to help me figure it all out!.....seriously - he's much more computer savvy than me!!
Sunspot/Annie, thank you for your reply - I agree with everything you say. You are such an inspiration to have done what you did - to actually stand up for yourself to the powers that be like that. When I left home, I was a 16 year old girl who had never been baptised, so, 'poof', that was that - I was gone. There was no letter writting to elders etc. It was very clean cut. I'm so glad because when I was 16 my spelling was dreadful.....
Elise