Its normal, Genesis. You are being very brave. Its like you are coming off crack cocaine. You are bound to get the most awful panics, sweats and withdrawls. Your mood may swing wildly and you will experience lots of doubt. In all probability you will have guilt trips and dreams about it for many years
Genesis,
All of what's been said is true....but KK's post hit the hardest as far as my situation went. I began by going to a site like this, and defending my faith....until I slowly began to realize that it just couldn't BE defended by any logic at all. The final straw for me was at 3 AM by myself, to sit here and read something that blew me away. It was called Lifton's Criteria about cults and how to recognize when you are IN one without even being aware of it.
When I got to the end of it, I actually felt as if I had been kicked in the stomach by a horse and I was horribly nauseated. My whole world fell apart that day, but it DOES get better when you confront the problem head-on and deal with ALL the implications of being deliberately lied to and basing your entire life ON these clever lies.
You have a wonderful support group here, openly and through any private messages you may want to send.....it's all open for you. Most of us understand what you are experiencing, and the doubts of this not being "the truth" will diminish as you read and research the great links to the "Best Of" series that pinpoints all the things you may be wondering about. The fear will fade too, as you gather more strength and assurance of KNOWING that the WTS is nothing but a fraud. It's hard to fear a fraud that is disappearing in importance as the JWs take notice of the information highway...the internet that the WTS fears!!!
hugs,
Annie