Hi to everyone,
I'm so happy to have found this site. I'm not a J/W, but my son is. Several years ago, he became involved with a J/W, although she was being shunned at the time. Long story short, she became pregnant, and they married. Before the marriage, we took her in, so to speak. She literally had nowhere to go; parents had booted her out of the house. I'm not sure what her "infractions" were....didn't ask, but none the less, she was to become our daughter in law and we felt taking her in during this time was the right thing to do.
Several months after she and my son married, she started the process of (forgive me, I don't know what it's officially called) but it's where she had to "prove" she was worthy enough to be able to attend meetings again. She had to, what appeared to be in my opinion, beg for them to take her back. Eventually, she was approved (for lack of a better word) and has been going to meetings ever since. During this time, my son also became involved and is now a J/W.
Some questions here. While she was being shunned, this was only done by her Dad. Her Mom called the house several times a day to speak with her, but this was done without Dad's knowledge. Is this commom? I thought shunning was pretty much set in stone, where both of her parents would essentially ignore her.
From what I've read here, I'm assuming that as time goes by, my son will be encouraged (or will it be expected?) to cut ties with his non J/W family. He's been involved for a little over two years now, so I don't know when, or if, to expect this, but if they do expect him to cut all ties, what sort of time frame should I be looking at? And, how will they try to convince him to not have any dealings with us? When he visits, or when we talk on the phone, there is no mention whatsoever of him being a J/W. Truth be told, the reason his Dad and me don't mention it is because we, at times, just feel paralyzed with fear that if we try to point out some stuff that we see as wrong with the Organization that this will be the fuel he needs to cut off communication with us. In other words, we don't want to give him any reason to cut ties with us. We don't want to challenge him to the point of making him run, even though it kills us. We've also got a beautiful Grandbaby now. I can't imagine not being in her life, yet it's something that I cry about on a regular basis. Good grief...I'm a mess over this!! Really, I am. It's to the point where I find myself worrying about this for countless hours in the day. And it's even worse when I look at my precious Grandbaby and just get sick thinking about what kind of childhood she'll have to endure, and how long it will be before "they" start filling her mind with crap about "us". And by "they", I don't just mean my son and DIL, I'm also referring to her other Grandparents, who live about three blocks from my son. I know they are a huge influence....
Well, thanks for letting me get this out. It feels good to have a shoulder to cry on every now and then.