I think that this is the most difficult lesson in leaving the jw world. The black and white thinking created such a neat little world where everything was so easily explained and categorized, provided you didn't mind living in a bubble. I think the one area of black and white thinking that caused me the most difficulty and cognitive dissonance was the question of Jehovah's will vs. Satan's temptations.
Every opportunity, trial, experience, relationship, life decision prompted the question, "Is this a gift from Jehovah or is it a temptation from Satan?" I got a job offer: Is it Jehovah providing so I can pioneer or Satan trying to tempt me with worldly goals? I meet a new brother: Is it Jehovah providing a prospective mate or Satan trying to keep me from the full-time service? My car breaks down again: Is it Jehovah telling me to sell it so I can focus more on the ministry or Satan trying to tie me up in working longer hours to pay for repairs?
My mind would be filled with these questions. Endless questions about why things were happening the way they were in my life. And every jw would have their own take on each experience. It was always so amazing to me how they could take any situation and make it appear that Jehovah was behind it in a positive way or take the same situation and say "Satan is trying to get us down." It's crazy-making!
I'm so tired of all of the analysis. I'm tired of the question "why". I'm starting to believe that sometimes, it just is. There are so many factors, seen and unseen, that have lead to any given scenario; some you had something to do with and some you did not. In my opinion, the key is to find a way to deal with the situation and move on.
But that's just me. Maybe my words are a gift from God and maybe they're a tool of Satan. :)
tall penguin
Letting go of the black and white thinking...
by tall penguin 24 Replies latest jw friends
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tall penguin
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drew sagan
You will find out in time that the entire world is in the grey zone. Life is so much more than thinking everything that is happening to your is caused by some kind of demonic or divine will.
Black and White thinking caused me to enter into the organization. Answers to questions like, what is the true religion? WTF?!!! That is a question that can't be turned into some black and white answer.
Keep up the good work by moving out of this painful thinking and going towards somethign that is more logical. -
tall penguin
Thanks Drew for your comments and support.
I was just noticing in my awareness today yet another example of black and white thinking that needs to leave my worldview, which is tied to the one I already mentionned. The "good always triumphs over evil" thinking. The reality is "shit happens" and sometimes those who cause the shit spend their life continuing to do so with no direct repercussions. I'm seeing this for what it is now. And seeing too that my job is to value myself enough to stay clear of those whose life purpose is to cause shit to happen.
It's coming together now. The consciousness is expanding. :)
tall penguin -
freedomlover
I'm so tired of all of the analysis. I'm tired of the question "why". I'm starting to believe that sometimes, it just is
amen to that. I'm right there with you on that one.....
"it just is" - it's refreshing and frustrating to think about .all at the same time...
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JH
You will find out in time that the entire world is in the grey zone
Yep, I agree
I see all in grey now
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Goldminer
Sorry,didn't get to finish my post,my computer bumped me out.
What I wanted to say,along with your tought "shit happens" is the scripture in Ecclesiastes 9:11 "...unforeseen time and occurence befall them all.".So yes some things are grey or just the luck of the draw or coincidence or the result of a smart decision or a bad decision.By putting it on Jehovah or Satan we could take the accountability away from ourselves and spin the situation in the direction we wanted it to go.You could write a whole chapter in a book on this one.
Goldminer
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bythesea
Its taken me several months of unraveling the WTS thinking processes, and I'm far from finished, but I've finally come to the place that I'm comfortable just NOT KNOWING...NOT having all the answers. As a jw we had an answer for everything...the GB made up our rules for living, our doctrine and provided us with a response for any question someone might throw at us. In the past year of my trying to fade, and my questioning everything the WTS ever said was "the truth", I have finally been able to tell myself that its OK not to have answers to everything....be it doctrine or whatever. I'd rather humbly say that "I don't know" than repeat(parrot) something because a bunch of guys in NYC decided it should be my truth.
A while back someone wrote in a thread on here this statement: "Its better to have questions without answers than answers you can't question." That really stuck with me....and thanks to whomever wrote it! Its been my mantra lately!!
Bythesea
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Sentient
Agreed on the finding the grey areas! Truly, few can understand the extent to which this thinking distorts rational thought and how difficult that can be to overcome. Some people see the outside world as beyond their control, others realize that their life is pretty much created by them. The WBTS' teachings basically create these unbelieveable intense irrational fears, that dictate every aspect of life as you described Tall Penguin. In turns what could have been a peaceful life where life decisions are based on what a person actually wants to do into a life where one is literally in a WAR at all times and every decision becomes a survival-based decision. Anything that could even begin to lead one down the road of leaving the group becomes like death! That is why the symptoms that can be experienced after leaving can be very close to or even worse than the symptoms of having been in a physical war. What a powerful demonstration (to me anyway) of the extent to which our beliefs about our lives and ourselves create our lives and ourselves.
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Narkissos
I can still remember the exact moment and place (crossing a street in Paris, just a few weeks before I was df'd) where this simple thought occurred to me: I am not supposed to have an opinion on everything. I am not even supposed to be right.
This thought was incredibly liberating.
Btw, I'd say the opposite of "black & white" is not "grey". It's colour(s).
See Freedomlover's avatar and its colourful version of the Yin-Yang symbol (something I had been thinking of before I saw it there).