Please help me

jambon

i have posted a few mins ago - please read and reply - i need your help tonight, the wife is out and i need support - PLEASE

AlmostAtheist

(copied from your other thread)

It can be hard to understand how a loving God could allow all the bad things mankind has experienced. Particularly natural disasters that are not in anyway man's fault.

It leads some (like me) to dismiss the idea of God altogether. Others are comfortable assuming he has his reasons for allowing it all and he'll explain it eventually.

For now, getting yourself out of JW's will be hard enough. what spiritual path you pursue from there will be up to you. That's an empowering feeling in itself.

There are ways to do it that might help you bring your wife out with you. Take your time, you don't need to rush it. If you found yourself in a medical emergency with your kids, the doctors would surely give them blood on your parental authority. So there's no immediate need to tip your hand.

Here's an article about using the Watchtower's own tactics to help your family see the real truth about JW's: http://www.freeminds.org/psych/exithelp.htm

Please read it over. And give yourself permission to slow down, relax, and take it a step at a time.

How old are your children? Mine were 6 and almost-born when I got out. Fortunately, my wife was ready to get out, too. We left together.

Welcome to the forum! And feel free to vent to your heart's content!

Dave

Legolas

Go to your name on the top left corner...click on your post history to your other thread...and add a topic (Title) ...it is hard for people to get in to it!

Legolas

Copied from other thread!

WHAT IS GOD DOING.

Sitting on his azz doing absolutely nothing while the world suffers!
Welcome to the board!
You can do the fade thing or disassociate yourself!

jambon

my kids are 4 and 1. i love them so much. i am knackered with trying to get to meetings f/s etc. my wife feels also but hangs on. the thing is, my mum, dad, sis = never been in the truth, never will. i was in at 17, but through circumstances,

now, i want to live my life. 10 years have passes and its 10 too long. im finished, but ironically, i am picking up an old sis for f/s in the morning. i feel i need to do something mad to get out, like pretend im an alcoholic, which i nearly am.

HELP

Elsewhere

i feel i need to do something mad to get out, like pretend im an alcoholic, which i nearly am.

Please don't do that. When one leaves the WTS the JWs automatically start trying to find things to scandalize the one who left. (No "good" person could possibly leave the WTS)

You're best revenge would be to live a happy healthy and productive life. That is what I have done and I can see it drives them nuts.

Best of luck to you! Keep in mind, you've go a very large community of ex-JWs all around the world who are ready and willing to listen.

inbyathread

Jambon - First of all welcome to this forum. There are many, many here who either are feeling or have felt what you are going through.

You could read the literally thousands of posts of difficulties that ones here have gone through in their endeavors to "get out". You however, are the one to decide when the time is right.

It isn't God's fault about the deaths of children and mothers and fathers in the wars and it isn't his fault because of a tsunami.

If you were a 'good little witness', you would belive that you and your family would be protected by Jehovah when armageddon comes. However you did mention that you

just dont believe that jehovahs way of handling the `issue` is the best way, which means i dont believe in him or love him any more. I recently had kids and i cant face any harm coming there way - like most, i would kill for them if anyone posed a harm, so what is jehovah doing??

May I interject a thought here. Perhaps it is not Jehovah, but the Society that you question.

The societies false prophesies, their placing themselves in the position that only Jesus should be in. Remember that they are wanting (requiring) our complete trust in the Faithful and Discreet Slave. When was the last time you heard that we should put our complete trust in Jehovah or his son Jesus?

Before you do anything. Stop. Breath and read the info here and at your local library about high control groups. That way you can make the best decisions for your family. I firmly believe that Jehovah will not destroy you or your family because of some thugs in suits at a kingdumb hall.

We are here for you and your children. Write when you have time. We look forward to hearing from you again.

IBAT

Legolas

If you have no family 'in' and you don't want to be bothered by them anymore..Just disassociate yourself!

AlmostAtheist

Wow, your story sounds so familiar. My parents also were never JW's, I started studying at 15, baptized at 17.

It's a bit easier, even fun, when you're a kid. But when you grow up you find out just how burdensome and limiting life as a JW can be.

Best advice I can offer for right now is CALM DOWN. There is absolutely no rush here. Not only will you work yourself into a lather, but you may end up chasing your wife deeper back into the organization.

Think about this: As you found your life getting more and more complicated, didn't you also see your service declining? You spent less time in study, less time in meditation, less time in field service. You missed more meetings than you ever would've thought you would. And you felt GUILTY. Well, right now, from this second forward, you can DROP THE GUILT. There is no vengeful god waiting around for an excuse to smite you if you miss one more meeting, or fail to place one more magazine. (This is not to say there is no god at all, but if there is he is surely not judging you on the basis of your service to the Watchtower)

So take a breath, and give yourself permission to feel not a shred of guilt over missing meetings, not reading magazines, or any of the other hamster-wheel activities they pile and pile on JW's. Even if you still attend meetings or whatever, to keep up appearances while you plan your exit, recognize that you are guilt-free.

Keep reading, there's plenty here. Peruse the "best of" section to see just how throughly wrong the Watchtower is about the Bible.

You're making the best move you could possibly make for yourself and your kids. Play it right, play it smart.

Dave

jambon

I AM SO CONFUSED.

I APPRECIATE YOUR TIME.

BUT, I DONT BELIEVE IN GOD ANY MORE. NEVER MIND WHAT THE SOCIETY SAYS; THE FACT IS, AS A FATHER, I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO SAVE MY KIDS. WHY NOT GODS `KIDS`????

I WILL BE OUT EVENTUALLY, BUT I HAVE THROUGH EXPERIENCE TRIED ALL THE `GOD IS LOVE` STUFF AND I DONT GO WITH IT.

RESPECT TO THOSE THAT DO, BUT NOT FOR ME NOW.

Please help me

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