Please help me (page 3)

AlmostAtheist

MY COMMENTS ON ALCOHOL REFLECT THE FACT THAT I HAVE BEEN DRINKING HEAVILY FOR 4 YEARS - EASES THE PAIN OF BEING SOMETHING YOU`RE NOT.

Welcome to the club! My alcohol consumption went WAY down immediately after I left JW's. It's a stressful life. Once out, you'll find that life in the real world isn't something that you want to escape from. (Not often, anyway. Keep a bottle handy, just in case!)

SO - WHY DO I FEEL ANXIOUS ABOUT GETTING OUT? MY WIFE IS WAVERING BUT BELIEVES IN GOD, WHICH I DO NOT. MY 4 YEAR OLD WANTS A PRAYER AT NIGHT (NOT REALISING THAT I WOULD KILL HER, BY REFUSING A BTF, IF IT CAME DOWN TO IT) - I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

Your wife's belief in god won't hurt you, and so long as she isn't in a controlling religion, it won't hurt her either. Don't feel (or show) any pressure to "convert" her to atheism. One of the great things about atheism is you are completely absolved of any responsibilty to evangelize.

Your kids aren't going to be injured by praying or believing in god either, with the same caveat about a controlling religion like the Watchtower. I went through the "I want a prayer" thing with my son as I was exiting. I could play most religion games, but prayer was something I was very bad at faking. Maybe hit your wife up to pray with him? If you think that will raise too many red flags, then go ahead and offer the prayer. Won't hurt you, won't hurt your child. Use it as a chance to talk to them. "Dear God, help us to always think for ourselves, and not let others tell us what to do. Help us to listen to ourselves and not hurt people."

WHAT DO I DO - I WANT TO DISSASSOCIATE AND TELL TEM ALL TO FECK OFF, BUT .............MY WIFE???

My advice only, just my opinion -- you should NOT dissassociate. You'd be drawing a line in the sand for no reason at all. There's no need to feel guilty for having your name on a publisher card. It's their piece of cardboard, what do you care what's written on it? Don't try to make a statement, try to make a LIFE. Make all of your moves from here to ease you and your family out of the Watchtower.

Dave

Shazard

I am believer here. If you need answers about God, I can try to answer. I am not JW, I am Lutheran (conservative wing). But anyway, get out of this cult... and listen to people who were there (I never been JW, managed to escape them).

DannyBloem

I feel so much sorry for you, because I am in a similar situation, only maybe a bit easier
But let me tell you, you are already free, because your mind is free.

Second, if you want to get you, do it slowly. Forcing it, does not help a bit, how much you would like it.
Maybe you can even win your wife, if you take it easy. When you force your way out you can loose probably everything. You need to plan it, that takes time.

So make a plan, follow that.

DB

jambon

Re: Please help me

Post 936 of 936
since 12-May-05

I feel so much sorry for you, because I am in a similar situation, only maybe a bit easier

But let me tell you, you are already free, because your mind is free.

Second, if you want to get you, do it slowly. Forcing it, does not help a bit, how much you would like it.

Maybe you can even win your wife, if you take it easy. When you force your way out you can loose probably everything. You need to plan it, that takes time.

So make a plan, follow that.

DB

- I KNOW TO TAKE I EASY - THANKS FOR YOUR ADVICE. MY LIVER IS SUFFERING, IM DRINKING HARD. I NEED OUT NOW! I LOVE MY FAMILY OF NON-WITNESSES, I LOVE LIFE (THOUGH ITS HARD), I LOVE MY SON AND DAUGHTER AND I LOVE MY HOME TOWN, IN SCOTLAND. I CAN BREATHE, BUT I WANT TO LIVE AND ENJOY. THANKS TO EVERYONE, I THINK, WITH YOUR HELP, I MAY GET OUT SOON!

inbyathread

Ok, thanks. Now press the caps lock key. We all know how you feel.

Getting out is different for everyone. Sorry to say that but it is the truth.

The "Now Method" You could just announce to everyone that you don't want to be considered one of Jehovah's Witnesses anymore. That method although workable will have it's own problems. Namely, a support group. All of your 'friends' that are in will now shun you. Your wife may not be emotionaly ready to take on the spiritual lead for your children. This is a selfish method. You are not thinking about anyone but yourself.

The "Fade Method" Take time and develop friendships with people outside the kingdom hall. Talk with and show support for your wife. Don't tell her, show her how you feel about matters. Being able to fade allows friendships that you have within the kingdom hall to possibly continue. (Many friends I have, have made the same conclusion regarding the JW teachings.) We faded together. Support group to talk to outside the confines of the Kingdom Hall walls help the fading process.

jambon

caps lock off!!

i am grateful for all your help. i will indeed fade.

at thet end of the day, i will not let my kids die, i will not make excusesa for paedos, i wil lnot take the fucking crap from my fellow m/s, i will love my non-jw, never have been jw parents and i will teach my children the real love that extends to everyone.

my wife is back soon, but keep posting,.........i will catch up through the week.

mucj love,

J

AuntieJane

Real love begins with yourself. Find an AA website and follow the steps, just to help you get away from

that destructive drinking. If you have really been drinnking as much as you say, you will have trouble slowing it

down. When you get away from that and the JW thinking, those layers will peel off and you will find YOU,

(who sounds like a good hearted, caring person that needs to love himself first)

AJ

bigmouth

Hi jambon. I had to laugh about the caps. off!!

But in this visual medium it had the right effect. You sound really desperate.

Mental agony is so much worse than physical, you feel as if your head is going to split!

I've been wondering when we might hear from you since you sneaked in in November! I can hear your desperation and I wish I could say something to help. Stay focussed on your wee kids for the moment and lets hear from you tomorrow perhaps.

Pete

Please help me

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