Thought I Was Out Of The Woods

by DocHayes 21 Replies latest jw friends

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  DocHayes

  Well today I was having lunch with my mother, who is inactive, and hasn't been to the Hall in a couple of years. Recently she's been hounded by the elders, because of all of the Christmas decorations. Even though she hasn't Disassociated herself, and she won't because she doesn't want to alienate herself from her family, she attends another church. The elders confronted her about all of that, but she wouldn't say anything to incriminate herself.

  Overall I told her that I was proud of her decision. I don't want her to alienate herself from her family, although I made that choice for myself. And I feel that she handled herself the best way she could. The elders didn't really have anything to go on, so hopefully they won't push anything.

  Toward the end of the meal, I made mention of how I wanted to talk with other people about my experience being a JW. I said something about how interesting of conversation starter it is to tell people that I was raised in a cult....

  She replied, "there you go off the deep end, calling it a cult."

  You could have knocked me over with a feather. I almost expected her to call it the "truth". My mother has read COC, ISOCF, and Combatting Cult Mind Control (or so I thought), and she refused to call it a cult. She labelled a cult, a group like Jim Jones, or the Branch Davidians, and not the Watchtower. Eventually it lead to an all out argument, and she was very, very, very upset. She felt that the definintion of a cult was up to personal interpetation. Because she feels the Watchtower is not, thus isn't.

  I found my copy of Combatting Cult Mind Control, and highlighted some chapters. I also brought up a few more books about cults that feature Jehovah's Witnessess, and left that for her. I really thought she had come to terms with what the Watchtower really is. She read the same information that I have. But now I'm starting to see certain patterns. In a way, she's almost a JW apologist.

  In the end, I didn't apologize- I don't whenever I'm in the wrong. I told her to research and back up her view, and I would apologize. Instead I'm in the middle of pulling a ton of research. She'll have a ton of reading to do in the morning. Yes I'm a mean cuss.
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  Scully

  Get your mom to check Lifton's Criteria for Thought Reform

  The cool thing about these criteria is that while they can be used to identify cults at the Jim Jones/Branch Davidian end of the spectrum, they can also be used to identify groups who have strong tendencies and leanings in that direction. They don't have to be religious in nature to be cults or "cult-like".
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  AlmostAtheist

  Don't get too hung up on that "cult/no-cult" thing. The Watchtower is what it is, whatever we call it. Some are uncomfortable calling it a cult. Even one very atheist poster here on JWD maintains it isn't a cult. (He isn't me!)

  It is, it ain't. Either way, it's still evil and death-dealing.

  Dave of the "if it walks like a cult, and quacks like a cult..." class
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  skyman

  keep us posted please.
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  GentlyFeral

  AlmostAtheist recommends:

  Don't get too hung up on that "cult/no-cult" thing.

  Absolutely right. When I read Combatting Cult Mind Control, I was looking for contrasts with the One True Religion™. When I didn't find any, I wasn't able to go any farther than this:

  Well, the JW's may not be a cult, but I'm reacting as if they are!

  I knew I had to leave for my own good – and did so – long before I realized that it was anything but a "normal" religion.

  gentlyferal
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  DocHayes

  Thanks, that site is easier to digest at once that an entire book.

  My mother says that calling the JW's a cult is my opinion... and I told her that I don't make such an accusation without imperical evidence to support it. She didn't want to believe that.

  On the one hand, she's no longer going to the Kingdom Hall, so I'm relieved for that fact. So it's akin to a recovering alcoholic thats been dry for two years, saying that he never was an alcoholic to begin with.

  On the other hand it makes me wonder just how truly "recovered" she is. At best she's a JW apologist, and tries to compare it to the church she presently attends. She always has bible discussions with the pastor, and she tries to impress him by using what she learned as a JW. I've even heard her mention "the New System" from time to time. I never paid much attention to that, and sloughed it off.

  Thanks for information.
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  coffee_black

  It's hard for some to admit they were in a cult. My best friend (who left the borg long before I did) was shocked when I called it a cult. She knew it was bs...but the word "cult" is a tough one to swallow. Most people think you have to be pretty stupid to get involved with a cult....

  Coffee
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  TopHat

  Many people think of a CULT as "Satanic" I know I did....so perhaps your Mother thinks in those terms also! ...She still sees the WTS believing in God and not a as a Satanic cult.
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  DocHayes

  There's a qoute out of the Hassan book... "Nobody joins a cult. They postpone the decision to leave."
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  Spectrum

  I think JWs are good at doing nice little keep them keen tricks with verses from the Bible. These tricks are indoctrinated amongst all the R&F of the group unlike Christendom's R&F that wouldn't know a bible if it hit them upside the head, however they DO KNOW that Christ was born on 25th Dec, ironically a cult date. Interesting development of Christianity. No wonder the Jews and Muslims can't take christianity seriously.