im hurt, desperate, confused and considering this religion - advice?

by very_confused 55 Replies latest jw friends

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  jgnat

  AA group meeting! Great idea!

  If you want to give nondenominational a try, look for a large www.alpha.org sign. The alpha program includes social interaction, discussion, and food. But I still think the meds and a counsellor first, to get yourself on an even keel and not so desperate.

  As for those deep personal, intimate relationships, they are rare. It is usually too much of a burden to put on one person. Your social safety net should really be about ten to twenty people, and you shouldn't depend on ANY ONE OF THEM for all your emotional needs. I'm married, but there are some things I don't even share with HIM. He's a man after all, and has his limitations. He's absolutely excellent for digging me out of the doldrums and reminding me to smell the flowers, but deep? Deep as a potted plant, love him. Learn what the strength and comfort level is for all of your intimates, and use your respective strengths to help each other.
• 

  one

  problems if you join the religion

  At first you'll have friends, some very nice.

  But if for ANY reason you decide to leave the religion, none of those jw "friends" 'will even say hello to you.

  If family member become jw, they won't talk to you either.
• 

  diamondblue1974

  Everyones experience here is varied when it comes to JWs, theres good and bad in all people but I cannot better the excellent advice already given in that choosing a religion when you are in this frame of mind is a bad idea. We often make the wrong choices when we are at our worst emotionally, follow Jgnats advice and get out to see more people in neutral surroundings; professional help is a must however. Hope to see more of you on the forum, you are more than welcome to stick around! DB74 (Gary)
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  delilah

  Hello and a warm welcome to you, very_confused. I cannot add a thing to the awesome advice that many wonderful people here have offered, except to say, that I'm very glad you have decided not to go and seek out the JW religion. I hope you continue to post here, and begin to heal, then you can make a proper decision regarding religion. I think getting a puppy is a good idea, it'll keep you quite busy.....which is maybe something you need right now.Just know, that you are among true caring friends here, and you are most welcome. ~love, Delilah~
• 

  jschwehm

  Hi Very Confused:

  My name is Jeff Schwehm and I am glad that you have decided to dump the Jehovah's Witness idea. You have gotten some great advice from the great people here on this board. You mentioned that you were going to give the Catholic Church a second try. I run a group that assists people who were once Jehovah's Witnesses or involved with Jehovah's Witnesses in learning more about the Catholic Church. In any case, I believe that we could help you if you want us to. Here is our website:

  www.catholicxjw.com

  Also, you can contact me at [email protected] and I will do what I can to get you some help.

  God's blessings to you,

  Jeff Schwehm
• 

  Mary

  Hi VeryConfused:

  I can understand why you want to join a religion as it can help fulfill a spiritual need and go a long way in alleviating your lonliness as you'll get the chance to meet new people and hopefully develop some friendships. While I may not agree with everything the Catholic Church teaches, I would like to recommend that you take Jeff up on his offer as he's seen both sides of the coin.

  I would also like to recommend that you get into see a therapist or counselling. Sounds like you've been hurt alot in life and you need to try and put things in perspective.

  All the best

  Mary
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  AuntieJane

  Hello very, and welcome. Look at all the friends you have found here

  You sound like a very caring person, sometimes those that care so much...care too much. Do you get what I'm saying? There really is such a thing as caring too much. We need to stay more balanced, on what is important: a simple hello to your neighbor, a smile to the custodian, etc. etc. Having communications with everyone we encounter takes the focus off of ourselves, which is a good thing, too.

  I am glad you are getting help in the way of medication, but I strongly suggest you try calling another therapist w/out a 2 month long waiting list! There is surely a community area mental health clinic where you live. Go to the phone book and call; look up some 800#s online.

  I have posted here b4 that I have 2 now grown daughters who both dealt with depression and sought therapy for it. This was in their teens and 20's. One major factor is getting exercise. It is true that being physical helps the mental self too. If you are hidden away in your room, I beg you please to make yourself get up and do some runs in place, stretches, put on some music you like, and move your body for 20 minutes at least once a day, more is better!

  Lastly...I am so glad you came here and are not going to take the JW route. Talk about depression I am a Catholic myself and would urge you to stop in at Mass if you are so inclined; and your local church, or at least its diocese office, will have support that you can call for counseling, I am sure of that. Don't hesitate. I was going to suggest you contact Jeff Schwemm, so I was glad to see his post above mine. He is a good man and someone you can talk to. You came to this board for help; I think you are in the right place!

  Feel free to pm me anytime; I am a Mom, always enjoy talking to another 'daughter'....

  Peace,

  AuntieJane
• 

  MsMcDucket

  You are in no condition to be making life-altering decisions. I'll repeat the excellent advice already given

  Ditto. I'm with Jgnat. This is not the time to make any decision. I'll tell you this, if you think you're depressed now and you barely have any energy, you should, most definitely, not join the witnesses. They will only make you feel worse. You will never be able to do enough. Maybe, you should just visit different churches (if you have the energy). Get a good book on psychology (feeling good through the power of health changes type book).

  Keep going to the doctor until you get your meds adjusted right. Sometimes, your meds have to be "tweaked".

  I'm trying to figure out what to say, but I'm having a hard time finding words. Just don't make any BIG decisions now!

  ((((hugs))))
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  Ticker

  So yes I do need to find friends, but that's something that always seems to have been easier for most people than it has been for me. My social needs are probably different than that of most people's in that I feel fully fullfilled socially even if i only have one or two friends, as long as they're very good friends that I can trust and that I know will be there for me.

  Let us be your friends Very Confused. Most on here are very honest and straightforward. Many on here meet and have get togethers called apostafests and they have alot of fun. Maybe you could meet friends on here. Remember you are always welcome to come and post here any time you like. We will always welcome you here.

  Ticker
• 

  Golf

  very_confused, welcome.
  
  If you want to make a friend, make 'time' your friend. Give yourself time to think and reflect on all the information shared with you. Couple this with your personal experiences 'learn' from it, meaning draw the from 'positive' suggestions and 'apply' them. Make it your goal to think and do the positive things, believe me, its your happiness and salvation.
  
  Your young and you have youth on your side, take advantage of it. You've been given lots of material to work from.
  
  All the best.
  
  
  Golf