Undecided
I read your profile and couldn't help but notice how similar our backgrounds are. As an elder serving on judicial committees I was troubled by the changing 'truth'. You put it very well. In the final committee meeting (that resulted in my telling them to do what they had to do) I pointed to the comprehensive collection of the Societies publications all around us in the KH library. I asked them, Why are we not encouraged to study these? Why aren't they being re-published?
You have obviously crossed a threshold. I can tell you from experience that you can never go back to the org. with your heart or mind. You are so right to be indifferent to being DF'd. It really doesn't hurt! In fact it was a most liberating, wonderful feeling that gave me the strength to deal with the shunning from close family and friends.
I look forward to seeing you change your alias from 'undecided' to something that fits you better.