Here's why... (page 2)

AuldSoul

I'm proud of you, Richie. You are taking steps that strike fear into men three times your age.

Respectfully,
AuldSoul

[quote]When you fade, you still play their game. [\quote]

Actually, that is the BEST way to win. Remember, your mom plays their game too. And, if you want to win, you have to remember that. I encourage you to read Machiavelli's "The Prince" or "Art of War". Learn how your opponent thinks, and make a strategy that exploits their strategy. Fading is the ONLY loop-hole in the JW world-view that will NEVER be shut for the following reason:

They will NEVER shun you as long as THEY think there is a chance you may come back.

[quote]DAing myself will be me standing, and breaking the chains, and leaving.[\quote]

Is losing your mother worth going out in a "blaze of glory". I'm too smart to let them provoke me. Are you?

RichieRich

They will NEVER shun you as long as THEY think there is a chance you may come back.

Friend, you seem to have missed the point. I want to be shunned. The people who associate with you, with hopes of bringing you back, don't have honest intentions at heart. When seeking truth, that's the last thing you want.

Is losing your mother worth going out in a "blaze of glory".

I'm losing her either way, unfortunately.

I'm too smart to let them provoke me. Are you?

Good for you. I guess you can sleep easy at night, being a silent watcher. I'm provoking them. And I'm sure as hell not going to be silent, nor a spectator.

Best of luck to you, but you see, this was only to explain my choices to those who ask, like yourself.

whyamihere

[quote]DAing myself will be me standing, and breaking the chains, and leaving.[\quote]

Is losing your mother worth going out in a "blaze of glory". I'm too smart to let them provoke me. Are you?

Is losing your child worth a Religion? Since I have children and knowing what that is like.....it is not "worth it"! However, that is my opinion. Since you are too smart to "let them" Provoke you, you in turn let them rule your life silently?

Brooke

Bumble Bee

Wow Ritche,

We could have the same mother!! I'm currently going through something similar - while I haven't formally DA myself, she and my sister have recently decided they want nothing to do with me anymore becuase I don't go to the meetings anymore. I was totally shocked when this happend, but relieved in a way. I'm just waiting for her to run to the elders - she's like that, a real tattler, and then my hand may be forced. One reason I have not formally done anything is because of my husband.

I wish you luck!

The countdown has begun for you!

BB

slugga

Richie when I left i left by fading away, I stopped publishing and attending meetings and moved out of the area and in the 17 yrs since there have been DOZENS of times I've wanted to go back for one reason or another. The Truth f**king haunts me. By DA'ing yourself its gonna be final, you'll be out and you wont be haunted or tempted to go back in the future. I admire you and kinda envy you. Do it.

Matt

joelbear

Richie,

you continue to impress me. amazing that we got baptized almost 30 years apart to the day.

i have agonized over my decision to go and let them disfellowship rather than to lie about starting my life as a gay man and just moving away and doing it.

you are right that you lose those people anyway whether you DA or fade. you have to be you. i am still fighting to do that now at almost 50.

you are getting a jump on it by doing it at 18. don't stop with leaving the witnesses, follow your bliss. think out your path and start on it

ASAP. i don't think i need to tell you this. you're a helluva lot more centered and courageous than i was at 18. i hope i get to meet you

some day. come to atlanta, i'll show you around and i swear, no inappropriate touching.

HUGS

Joel

Lady Lee

Richie

You start out with this

I recieve many PMs, emails, and more recently, many thread replies which ask me a simple question. Why are you disassociating yourself? Why not just fade?

I find it terrible that anyone would ask you why you choose the path you do.

Each person has a right to deal with leaving or staying on their own terms. No one has to live your life for you. No one else has to sit there and listen to your mother's tyraids. That alone would make me want to be DFed just to avoid her.

It's your life. You get to live it on your terms

willyloman

In my letter, I list each elder's full name, spouse name, childrens names, and home address. Just so they know, I'm not playing around.

Do what u gotta do, man, but lose this implied threat. It could come back to haunt you.

silentWatcher

Hi Richie,

You are right in that I missed the point. I thought you were interested in having contact with your mother regardless after leaving, and I suggested the approach that maximized the probability of that happening. That is the merit of fading. I'm happy with my situation.

I re-iterate my suggestion: Read Machiavelli's "The Prince" and "Art of War". Also, in college take a class in Game Theory and General Psychology. All will sharpen your analytical skills tremendously.

You are a very intelligent person. Good luck with your college applications.

Sincerely,
silent

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