why cant you just leave???

by kid-A 22 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  kid-A

  What always strikes here on JWD is the number of posters who completely and entirely doubt the JW theology, reject the majority of the teachings and "rules", express their boredom and frustration at having to attend meetings and conventions and yet, still, continue to keep up the facade of attending the meetings, going out in service, essentially choosing to 'live a lie'.....

  Now, I understand fully the complications around leaving such an organization especially concerning family, BUT, for gods sake people, it would take the most extreme, extraordinary circumstances to keep somebody inside a duplicitous, controlling cult when at any time, you DO have the freedom to just walk away.......we are all free moral agents capable of escaping the WTS so I humbly ask,

  1) how and why do you keep up the facade? Do your circumstances really justify lying to yourself and family?

  2) Are you aware you are just prolonging the misery of yourself and family by living this illusion?

  3) Do you think that by delaying your escape you are simply getting deeper and deeper into the WTS web and ultimately making the final step all the more complicated?

  Finally, I think there comes point when we need to realize that are limitations are self-imposed and regardless of circumstances, it is always a possibility to exit the borg, healthy happy and true to oneself.

  cheers!
• 

  tetrapod.sapien

  hotel california man, hotel california. ... just kidding actually. seriously, i wonder the same...
• 

  kid-A

  LOL !!!

  Hey if bethel had been like the hotel california instead of the 'mortuary california" I may have signed up!!
• 

  AlmostAtheist

  It's all about cost and benefit.

  For me, the cost of staying in was much too high for the benefit of keeping in contact with my friends and family. It's not that I value "truth" or anything, it's just that there's this "life"-thing I thought I owed it to myself to go look into. Sounded kinda nice.

  But for some, the cost of leaving is too high (in their estimation) to justify the benefit. Maybe they are 22 and living at home in a rocky family, and figure leaving now would push them over the edge. I'm sure more examples could be invented, or just gleaned from previous posts.

  If I was 65 and a Bethelite, I don't know that I'd leave. I might stick it out, get all I could from where I was, and die in their care. It would suck, but I'd weigh it against what I could get out of the outside world and do the math. I've never done the math, so I don't know where it would take me. But I wouldn't just leave, and then start looking around. The benefit would have to be there.

  On the one hand, I wouldn't want to be associated with a life-destroying, pedophile-protecting cult. On the other hand, I'd know that my staying or leaving wouldn't change what it was, wouldn't help or hurt it in any way. (Unless I had some dirt that I could actually do some damage with -- again, cost/benefit)

  It would be a decision about what would most positively impact my happiness.

  Dave
• 

  trevor

  As humans we can often see the faults in our life situation with the logical mind and know what we should be doing. The emotional part of our mind takes a lot longer to catch up, sometimes a long as ten years.

  Making change that will cause us emotional pain is something we will resist at the deepest level. To make change we must first accept our findings intellectually and then communicate the need for change to the emotional part of our mind. Then time has to be allowed to change at a pace we can cope with.

  This is why it takes so long to break free of a cult such as the Jehovah’s Witnesses. It is not always wise to rush the process. Everything changes gradually and change takes as long as it takes. Anyway, what’s the hurry?

  Trevor............................all the time in the world.
• 

  blondie

  The biggest barrier to just leaving is family and friends, especially if you are married to a JW and they don't share your views. The thing is to make new friends outside the WTS and if possible spoon feed your spouse tidbits about WT realities. Really look at the people at the KH, are they really "friends" or just people you socialize with, are they the type of people that would give their life for you?

  Blondie
• 

  tetrapod.sapien

  you may save these friends and family by "betraying" them, and DA'ing. it's painful, but worth it imo. thus spake tetrapod, lol.

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/105631/1.ashx

  ts
• 

  inbyathread

  Leaving the organization slowly, is it harmful?

  Have you ever looked closely at a spiderweb? Not all of the strands are sticky. I've seen insects fly into webs only to fly right off without ever touching one of the sticky ones. If they catch a part of the sticky strand, well then the spider does it's job. Lunchtime.

  Those of us who are leaving slowly are following the non-stick path. If we say something or act a certain way then the elders will notice our movements and come for lunch. It all depends where we landed in the first place when we fell into this web if we could get out quickly or not.
• 

  metatron

  After WW2 , some French workers were asked about collaborating with the Nazis by working in factories that supplied their industries

  with ball bearings. Some replied that, "we used to turn out 10-20 precision ball bearings an hour, but we would turn out one and even

  that one was defective and wouldn't last. That was how we worked against them".

  I think you can accomplish a lot more damage within the organization than by getting labeled with df'd or da'd and being removed

  from the process. Nevertheless, a lot of people just want to get on with life and that's OK. For me, this is a task that is nearing

  its end, as downsizing and lack of cash flow may finally bring about ultimate Watchtower defeat. Suppose congregations did

  just use the Bible door to door? What would happen to the Society's cash flow? Would they still 'hang on' to controlling congregations

  if the money ran out?

  How can they suddenly announce massive layoffs at Bethel? Were hundreds of people just wandering around , doing nothing

  all day? What tasks do they think they can dump so suddenly?

  If they lose the Awake completely, that would be very significant........

  metatron
• 

  stevenyc

  Its all about investment. Its very difficult for people to walk away from things they have a heavy investment in. Ever tried to convert a career person into a contractor, especially if the person has been at the same company for ten years, and well respected.

  Not only do individual witnesses invest decades of their life, but also, their family, peers, friends, and thinking to the cause.

  Its not easy to leave that and start again.

  steve