A silly post......

EC

Bob and Sue meet....Bob says he loves Sue and wants to marry her...Sue's lawyer's step in and give Bob a list of things that he has to do to show how much he loves Sue: 1. You must go on 5 dates a week with her. They will be predesigned and you will only be allowed to stay within the structure of those predesigned dates. Don't try any funny stuff!! We feel like your ideas or suggestions to show your love to Sue are invalid! 2. When you talk to Sue you have to say certain things that we tell you to. If you do not say these certain things she will not listen to you. Whatever you do, DO NOT speak from your heart! Your heart is treacherous and will say things that Sue will not like. We know what Sue wants to hear and as long as you stick to the script you will not make her mad! Ok, what else does Sue's lawyer's tell Bob?? *smiles*

AuldSoul

Wow! What a wonderful way to express it. What kind of relationship would you wind up with, in that circumstance?

Here's a bit more:

The lawyer informs you that Sue wants to see you express to other people how much you love her. However many hours a month you spend telling other people about your love for her will demonstrate the depth of your love. It isn't just a matter of talking about your love, you have to try to convince others to love her, too. And Sue expects a monthly report of your efforts.

She doesn't want you to give up too soon on people either, keep going back and let her know in your monthly report how many people you talked to more than once.

All the while, Sue is standing off to the side looking at the lawyer with disgust. She tries to tell you that what the lawyer is saying doesn't represent what she wants AT ALL, that she didn't hire the lawyer, and that she would rather tell you what she wants from you in a private setting—just between the two of you.

Respectfully,
AuldSoul

carla

Sue's lawyers tries to calm her, they let her know that THEY know best how to handle these situations. In fact they will be Sue's mouthpiece from now on. Bob must go through them from now on to reach Sue.

stillajwexelder

LMFAO

carla

Bob decides he can live with all this interference of her lawyers. They get married and are allowed conjugal visits. Bob has extreme problems with this as the lawyers insist on being present during these visits. Bob is frustrated by their choreographing the entire event, even telling him that no 'ad libbing' will be allowed. Bob is contemplating joining the little known order of UBM's. A secret society in itself. Wrought with clandestine deliveries of contraband materials and secretive communications to the outside world. He must get the word out about Sue's lawyers.

EC

As silly as this sounds....it is so true...

We would never enter a marriage like this, so why did we enter a relationship with God like it??

Here's another one...

Sue has a guide book for you. And even though it is titled to be written for you, it really isn't. It is written for us to interpret to you. You are not smart enough to understand Sue, so you must take our word for it. Sue would be very angry if she found out you were reading it on your own and seeking the advice of anyone but us. Please, we already have warned you that you are stupid.....don't prove it. If you are found doing such as above most everyone in our firm will label you. You will be cut off! As far as we are concerned, Sue will no longer love you and you will now be considered Sue's enemy!

AlmostAtheist

For the first several years of your relationship, Sue's representatives tell you that she demands fresh flowers each week. Failing to bring fresh flowers will result in her anger towards you. So Bob dutifully brings flowers, according to the floral documents he received.

But recently the reps explain that while Sue hasn't changed, they have come to understand that she actually hates flowers. She's not mad at you for bringing them all these years, rather she's pleased that you obeyed her representatives. However, you must never bring her flowers again. Now that you know, if you bring them, it will result in her anger towards you.

Dave

Lilycurly

The lawyers....um..darn, as much as I try to think of something clever representing the no-blood issue and shunning, I can't. I'll leave it to the pros.

MerryMagdalene

brilliant!!!

The lawyers inform you that although you may, and in fact must, often speak to Sue, you must never listen to what Sue says to you in return. If you think you hear Sue speaking to you directly you are sadly mistaken. It is, in fact, her enemy speaking to you and imitating her voice. Sue never speaks to anyone except through her attorneys.

~Merry

prophecor

I think I'm finally getting it y'all, but keep it coming, just in case.

Sister Merry.

A silly post......

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