by Spectrum 14 Replies latest social relationships
Hi spectrum,
My parents were abusive and I knew at an early age, maybe 4 or so, that they were unjust in their treatment. I knew that I didn't deserve that kind of treatment. Maybe that's why I've done ok with my life. I also remember thinking around age 10 that there would be no pleasing my perfectionist mother, so why bother. It was just important to stay out of her smacking range.
this was an interesting thread to me because I remember exactly when I realized my mother was a psychopath....
I was 7. had just turned 7 and I was watching her belittle my dad, and then lie to him, and I remember looking at her thinking she was completely crazy.
It was quite a scary thing when your 7, but it also was very freeing to me.
I realized my parents were Fallible when I was about eight years old..
Fortunately, I realized how very "human" my mother really was many years later when she shared with me what it was really like to raise eight children with an alcoholic husband. She died in December of 1999. I wish I had learned about my "real" Mom sooner. (by the way, we weren't JWs)
Serendipity,
" It was just important to stay out of her smacking range."
I know how you feel. When I realised I was getting beatings unjustly and things really weren't my fault I learned to hide under a table or behind a sofa until my dad calmed down cos he wasn't too choosy about which one of us he wacked. Basically guilty by association.
When he had his first heart attack my brother and I (in our early teens) were mocking him. I feel great shame for that now because he worked his fingers to the bone for us.
It's taught me to be consistent and easy on youngsters. I bet you are extremely loving to your daughter.
freedomlover,
My father ironed himself out as we grew older but my mother I believe is still a bit crazy.
((((LoverOfTruth)))) I can't imagine what it is like to grow up in that environment.
When I noticed things that were questionable with the borg and tried to reason with them. Even showing them from the publications the flip-flops. Not forcefully, just innocently. They clicked into a whole other mode. then I realized they were normal people that were hurt by the outside world, and escaped to the org. Then raised me in it... thanks folks, really
