My stepfather died tonight (page 3)

Princess

Steve and I have been talking about whether we will go to the memorial. Steve said months ago that he wanted to go but when you called last night he wasn't sure. I think we will. I personally feel it would be a distraction either way. No need to give anyone more reason to talk about us. I think you are right about you and Dad not going though, especially since Grandma is so understanding about it. I get this queasy feeling just thinking about going back there.

Grandpa is very missed, but we have been missing him for some time now. The last time we went to visit, he didn't know us. He has never remembered my three year old daughter and has been confused when he sees her. We really enjoyed the stories he told and he was a very talented landscaper. Many yards around here will never be quite as pretty.

Princess

PS Thank you Slayer

Esmeralda

I'm so sorry, Marilyn *hug*

I, too, totally understand why you won't be going to his memorial. It is so true what Maximus said about JW services being a farce. Nothing at all about the person who's passed on except their years of "faithful service" followed by a fairy tale sermon about how everything will be allright again when they're resurrected.

Of course they neglect to mention that God will have to slaughter billions of people before this blissful time comes.

I know that you will be able to come up with your own unique and loving way to honor and remember him, and again I am so sorry for your sorrow. Death may be a part of life but that doesn't make losing someone we love any easier for the living.

*hugs*
essie

Mulan

This is the email I sent to Esmerelda. (what a doll she is!)

Hi Essie,
Thank you for such a sweet post about Henry.

He was such a dear man. I agree with what my daughter wrote, though, that we have missed him for some time now. I went to see him a few days ago, and took his hand and told him "it's Marilyn". He looked at me, and said "I just don't remember. I am getting so old." I understood, but he has known me since I was 4 years old. Mom spent over an hour with him yesterday, "holding his hand and singing Kingdom songs to him." (gag, gag) But he hasn't known her for over a month, and always called her by his first wife's name.

I wonder if our not going to his Memorial will make more or less trouble for us. I don't want to hurt Mom, but I get such an ill feeling thinking about walking into a Kingdom Hall again, and those people, and their phoniness. I know they will say things like "we've missed you" and "we want you to come back." But how hollow is that? Who would know? They never called or came by, or sent a card. I just don't think I can, but I may change my mind.

Thanks again, Es. I knew you would understand.
Marilyn

Princess

I feel the same way about going back. I know they will say all those phony lines. We miss you, etc. I however will throw it right back at them, memorial or not. "You never called to tell me that and you walk away from me in the stores." I personally think some will come just to see if any of us show up. Grandpa deserves better than that but the Borg is the Borg.

I'm going to see Grandma today too, dubs or not. I hope they don't make it harder for her. She needs her family more than them right now.

Princess

Rex B13

Sorry to hear of your loss....

>He would never have listened to us, and the things we now believe, if he had been in his right mind at the time. In recent months, he would laugh and say he thought we had a good point. Mom would say he didn't know what he was saying, and she was right.

He sounds like a man at peace with God, a man who knew Jesus as his Lord and savior. (Speculation) He may have known much more than you realize and he could see you were on the right track. I think that he was saved and is now in heaven with our Lord God Almighty.
Rex

LovesDubs

Awww Mu....Im sorry for your loss. Sounds like he lead a full and happy life tho :) Hugs to you and yours.

Loves

philo

I just want to say that having read about this man I am reminded there is hope for all of us. Think of you.

Thanks, philo

Gopher

Marilyn, sorry to hear about this. Words are inadequate. But we're here for you!

GopherWhy shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
Mark Twain (1835-1910)

RedhorseWoman

Marilyn, I'm so sorry for the loss of your stepfather. I can totally understand your not wanting to go to the Memorial service. When my mother died, I had spoken to one of the elders who had been quite close to her, and I gave him some personal anecdotes about her that I wished to have included in the memorial talk. He included none of them, and the whole thing was just your basic recruitment lecture. It left me feeling totally empty rather than comforted.

Mom was cremated, and some time after the "official" memorial service, we buried her ashes in the rose garden of her home. It was just the immediate family (all of whom were no longer JWs), and we held our own memorial service, speaking about our good memories of Mom. It was very moving for all of us.

Perhaps you could do something similar for your stepfather. Just you and those non-JWs who were close to him. Light some candles, share memories, perhaps offer a prayer.

jurs

Marilyn and Princess,

I am very sorry to hear about your loss. Your both in my thoughts..........Jurs

My stepfather died tonight

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