What is the difference between "manipulation" and "convincing"?

by DavidChristopher 15 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  Scully

  Manipulation serves the manipulator's interests, not the interests of the person being manipulated. Manipulation appeals to the emotions of the person being manipulated (If you really loved me, you would.... ) There is usually a penalty of some kind involved if the person does not acquiesce to the manipulation, and a reward (or a promise of a reward) if they do.

  Convincing serves the the interests of the one being convinced, not the interests of the person doing the convincing. Convincing relies on presenting a complete body of factual evidence, rather than appealing to emotion, and allowing the person to make an informed decision. The reward/penalty aspect doesn't enter the equation.
• 

  DavidChristopher

  Next Question:

  How do we know who is who? What tool or method brings these similar actions to light for what they really are?
• 

  jgnat

  Try this. Say, "I'll need to think about it for a few days." How do they react?
• 

  Scully

  How do we know who is who? What tool or method brings these similar actions to light for what they really are?

  When you are being manipulated, you get a feeling in your gut that tells you to slow down, it's moving too fast, there's lots of pressure. Often, immediate action and/or decisions are required so that you can be assured of the "reward" that's being offered. If you say you need to think about it or talk it over with your spouse, the manipulator will make you feel that you are going to regret it.

  Expert con men know this and exploit it. They tone the pressure waaaaay down. Tell you to take your time and think about it or talk it over with your spouse. They may even give you a list of references to check out. It makes you trust them, because the high pressure tactics that set off the alarm bells don't get activated.

  The bottom line, with anyone who is trying to sell you anything (including a belief system) should be: If it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is. Anything that promises you instant wealth, fame, salvation, extra inches on your willy, and requires you to pay Cash Up Front should be viewed with an extremely skeptical eye.
• 

  greendawn

  Manipulation implies furtiveness and concealed ulterior motives, the manipulator is subtly seeking to get someone to do things that are in his interests without revealing his true intention and may even persuade the victim that he is doing things for his own good.
  
  To convince is to persuade without hidden selfish motives.
• 

  ballistic

  I'm sure some people 'learn' to be manipulators. There's nothing worse than someone (in my example a woman but could be a man) using sex or faked love as part of the manipulation, and also exploring your weaknesses and using them against you. In fact, if this has ever happened to you, it can take years to recover, essentially because it is an onslaught to your natural instinct to trust and recipricate love.